Monday, 22 July 2019

Welcome to the Terrorzone

Mic Terror - Playa Shit
(From Green Summer EP; 2019)

Fave song on the new Mic Terror EP. Some midwesternplayalisticadillacmuzik with a tinge of sangin' Devin The Dude sauciness. That "Terror-slide" bridge from 3:30 to 4:14 got me open like SPAR on Xmas day.

Speaking of whom, I just noticed that a properly mastered version of Mic's Juke Them Hoes is finally available on retail/streaming. In a perfect world that song woulda been as big as Dude 'n Nem's Watch My Feet.

Thursday, 18 July 2019

Late pass! Love's Gonna Getcha again

"She got me thinkin' love, I think it's voodoo
She got me in command like a poodle
Soft like baby doodoo
Chicken flipped my noodle"

Alley High ft. Monifa - Voo Doo
(From World Wide/Voo Doo 12"; 1996)

Some butta 90s Harlem shit you can eat up like a strudel, produced by former Bwistolian whisper-wap affiliate DJ Milo. File this under ‘Zhigge if they rebranded themselves as Uptown's answer to The Pharcyde’ or ‘a bohemian Sporty Thievz if they'd been sobered by the delirium of lurve’.

Found over on Step One's gaff.

Tuesday, 16 July 2019

Droppin' a Deuce

Ultimately, it's this dance routine wot sold Duke Deuce's Yeh to me. Well, that and the fact that you can bump it with BlocBoy JB's Mercedes and House Party if you're in the mood for a trifecta of 2019 Memphis dance energy (no Normski.)

"Do that n*gga got 100? Do that n*gga got a mil'?
Boy, don't worry 'bout my pockets come pick up your hoe' heels"

Duke Deuce - Yeh
(From YouTube; 2019)

Spotted via Pink Chardonnay.

Thursday, 11 July 2019

Born To Audiomack: 2010's golden oldies

Good gracious, the amount of unreleased/rare demo tape Rap from decade's past that's become proper public domain over the past 10 years is bodacious. Here's a playlist of favourites that are essential to me & the rest of my heathens. Broke the standard 1 Song Per Artist rule for Mac Dre because his tracks come from different decades and couldn't be more different.

Tracks & Deets:
The Bizzie Boyz - Crazy Hard! (1988/2011)
Mac Dre & DJ Cee - Donkey Ain't Free (1989/201?)
Lord Finesse - Inconsiderate Females (1989/2012)
Azie of MobStyle - Untitled (1989/2011)
Spice 1 - Killa Days (1992/2014)
LL Cool J - Year Of The Hip Hop (1992/2011)
Camp Lo - Camp Lo (Bust Ya Down) (1995/2016)
G. Dep - Blak N*gga (1996/2016)
Pete Rock - Street Dreams Instrumental (1996/2019)
Mac Dre - Pawns In The Game (1997/2014)
Casual - Who Do That? (1997/2016)
Juvenile ft. Big Tymers - Cash Money Gorilla (1998/2017)
Z-Man - Artistic Violence (1999/2012)
Sean Price - I Shot Tha (2005/2014)
Max B - Take A Flick (2007/2013)
Lil' Wayne - Dinnertime (2008/2017)
The Jacka ft. Dru Down - For Real (2009/2015)
MF DOOM & Madlib - Avalanche (2009/2016)
T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me (2009/2017)

19 songs here so pick me a 20th. Only rules are it must have leaked post-2009, it must not be by an artist already in the playlist, and it absolutely must not feature rhyming by Drake or Das Rapists.

Wednesday, 10 July 2019

Nadja Average Song

SAULT - Foot On Necks
(From 5 album; 2019)

Man, this bodies the other SAULT songs I've seen folks posting. If ESG recorded a song to be played in the Manhattan Vampire's night club from What We Do In Shadows it'd probably sound like Foot On Necks.

Sunday, 7 July 2019

Saint Phuture

Forgive Minnesota's Lucky Rosenbloom, Father. He knew not that the B-side of his only single is some Electro-Gospel TR-808 shit which sounds like the rawest early Chicago House song Trax Records never dropped. Less Master C & J, more Master J.C.

Lucky - Just Give It All To Christ
(From Keep Your Faith In God 7" single; 1985)

Hat tip to Jed for the head's up on this one. Even bigger hat tip to Freddy Fresh for the upload.

Wednesday, 3 July 2019

Toto, I have a feeling we're not on Ramsey Street anymore...

Question: what do you get if you cross Style Wars and In Bed With Chris Needham? Answer: the 2005 documentary about Australian graffiti writer/Bogan extraordinaire/rebel without plausible deniability Justin "Jisoe" Hughes. Who dat? Essentially, Jisoe is Slobbie Unkut: a bizarro world Robbie Unkut who loves graffiti and buges rather than Godfather Don and blogs.

While Jisoe is an archetypal Aussie outlaw who fancies himself as the Ned Kelly of Melbourne's Hip Hop underbelly, the reality is that he's more of a Toadfish Rebecchi in stolen POLO. Filmed over the space of a year in the early 2000s, the documentary catches Jisoe at a crucial juncture in life: living as a petty criminal and reigning as the All City king of Melbourne, but grappling with adult responsibilities as his long-suffering girlfriend Sal gives birth to their babby. You don't need to have dabbled in graffiti as a teenager to enjoy Jisoe, because it's bigger than one of the four dubious elementz of Hip Hop: this is a documentary about a dysfunctional savant struggling to adapt to the conventional pressures of polite society; in that sense, Jisoe the human being has as much in common with Maradona as he does with Dondi.

Extras mannish: Jisoe's police interview after gettin' busted for criminal damage is some of the best catchphrase-comedy you'll ever hear. Two words repeated to increasingly hilarious effect over the space of 9 minutes.

Nobody talks, everybody walks.

Tuesday, 2 July 2019

Ka Ching!

"Did I mess up my life?
I'm at the Coinstar tonight
I just wanna take it all in stride
But did I mess up my life?
Oh, I don't know"

Juiceboxxx - Coinstar Song
(From YouTube; 2019)

Juiceboxxx is out here making Rock music for doz of us who got bored of new Rock music in the early noughties but can't just listen to old Undertones and Sum 41 records forever ever. Tell Lil' Kim to put the cake soap down and put the lighters up again because Coinstar Song is an anthem wot taps into summat universal: metaphorically speaking, we're all at the Coinstar tonight tryna turn that loose change into a lump sum.

Sunday, 30 June 2019

Generic list post: June 2019

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when A-Wax's saltine buddy-turnt-enemy-turnt-buddy GMEBE Bandz wasn't killed by the Titanic Stone gangbangers he associated with, but a couple of Gamergaters & Kap G's teenage brother. A sincere R.I.P because Out The Streets does jam tbf.

BlocBoy JB - Mercedes (2019)
Eatem - Hit Da Drink Twice (Martorialist Edit) (2019)
70th Street Carlos - Forgive Me (2019)
Slick Rick - Can't Dance To A Track That Ain't Got No Soul (2019)
Slick Rick - Midas Touch (2019)
TREE & Parallel Thought - God Like (2019)
Extra T's - E.T Boogie (1982)

Other notables: very pleased that my favourite Young Bleed & Max Minelli song got blessed with a video 20 years after it first dropped; Polo G's Chosen 1 would make a good B-side for Deep Wounds; Sonniebo's new single is best experienced as a 40 second Instagram giggin' challenge innit; 1TakeJay's intro from the new DJ Mustard compilation gives us a glimpse of what Blueface's music might sound like if all his beats didn't sound like Joe Moses mixtape cuts from 2011; listening to the Lil' Jon & Mac Dre song is the audio equivalent of watching that computer-generated Audrey Hepburn advert for Galaxy chocolate; Mass Appeal's fake-Nas gimmick Rapper shouldn't have been allowed anywhere near G. Dep's Head Over Wheels.

Bonus beats: Ya host's top 50 late pass discoveries of the 2010s.

Friday, 28 June 2019

Who ate all the pies? Not 70th Street Carlos

"Yeah, I done sold my soul and put it on eBay
Fuck that shit, it wasn't worth nuthin' anyway
Yeah, and I can fuck your girl, n*gga, any day
It's up there I swear to God just like an interstate"

70th Street Carlos - Forgive Me
(From Win Or Lose mixtape; 2019)

Ain't no eatin' if you ain't bringin' shit to the table, and it looks like the artist formerly known as Boosie FatAzz turned up with the salad. This one's definitely my favourite of the non-Trel Itz A Hit tracks on Carlos' recent No Hooks-type mixtape.

Unrelated: that new Slick Rick song which was supposed to be on the Great Adventures... reissue and another new song just dropped like 2 purrr. MC Rickoi D lightin' up classic breaks & beats like he's just recorded 2 tracks for Top Shelf 8/8/88.

Slick Rick - Can't Dance To A Track That Ain't Got No Soul/Midas Touch
(From YouTube: 2019)

Full songs here and here.

Wednesday, 26 June 2019

Sesame Streets Is Watching

Agallah - Crookie Monster
(From Crookie Monster single; 1999/YouTube; 2014)

Really warms my cockles to see a Rapper give thanx on a fanmade video for one of their songs. I ain't gonna say Agallah is better than Nas, BUT you need to wash your ears out with quick-drying cement if you prefer Nas' Edward G. Robinson voice to Agallah's Cookie Monster voice.

Sunday, 23 June 2019

Extra late pass! E.T. Fonk Home

As heard at the Keith Haring exhibition at The Tate this weekend - it's the 80's Electro Boogie choon sampled on Busta's Dangerous innit! To all my fellow noobz who've also slept on this song until now, that's what we're gonna be: the Extra Late Fresh Extra Tellestrial Brothers™... Extra Tellest' and we the best (yes Kase2/no DJ Khaled.)

Extra T's - E.T. Boogie
(From E.T. Boogie single; 1982)

Weird coincidence since I only posted about it the other day but I never knew Haring did the artwork on Come Away With ESG. Seems obvious really, dunnit?

Friday, 21 June 2019

Paul Blogba @

"John Wall, Wizard
Dan Buehler, kick ya
We don't shake no hands with the opposition, n*gga
LA Clipper
Eastside Cripper
Keep playin' with my dogs 'til I make 'em go and sic ya"

BlocBoy JB - Mercedes
(From I Am Me album; 2019)

Still not quite a Mercedes of the Heather Graham in License To Drive caliber, but the video has totally sold ya host on this song (often happens with BlocBoy JB videos for moi: also see No Chorus Part 11, Licks, and House Party.) BlocBoy is the only HUMUDA HUMUDA HUMUDA-flow/SKKRRT SKKRRT-ad lib Rapper whose music I find appealing - it's that gleeful energy of his wot sets him apart innit.

Thursday, 20 June 2019

I got a friend with a poll in the basement

The most important British question since Brexit: One Step Beyond or Night Boat To Cairo?

Madness - One Step Beyond
(From One Step Beyond album; 1979)

Madness - Night Boat To Cairo
(From One Step Beyond album; 1979)

Choose wisely but bear in mind that only one of these songs is the hometown anthem of a football club beloved of racist little Englanders and plastic glory-hunters. Incidentally, this is the same song once sampled on a DJ Spinna track where Eminem rhymed about starving his pets to death.

(Of course, Baggy Trousers is #actually Madness' best single but that ain't the question I'm askin' here. Stick to the script like a Love Island contestant.)

Wednesday, 19 June 2019

Pe' Against The World

"Bossed up on these n*ggas like Im Darnell
N*ggas sellin' couches actin' like the cartel
Leather in the 650, new car smell"

Peezy - New Car Smell
(From No Hooks II mixtape; 2019)

I ain't even a Peezy fan like some of youze lot but even I'm glad the highlight of No Hooks II just got blessed with a video. Believe me it ain't easy admitting that Detroit now has the best rapper called Peezy. Damn, OMB, the fuck happened to you?

Monday, 17 June 2019

Why, Why, Why?

Here is somethin' ya boy can't understand - how is UFO the only ESG song to have ever been sampled by rappers? It's incomprehensible that New York club classix like Moody (Spaced Out) and Dance remain as untouched as Elliot Rodger's decomposing todger, while ESG's instrumental jams like Parking Lot Blues and Tiny Sticks are basically breakbeats-in-waiting already.

ESG - Parking Lot Blues
(From Come Away With ESG album; 1983)

ESG - Tiny Sticks
(From Come Away With ESG album; 1983)

Still, as my granddad used to say, it's better to have nobody rap over your songs than it is to have some insufferable c*nts like Das Rapist rap over them.

Come Away With ESG = best album of 1983 or wot?

Wednesday, 12 June 2019

Generic list post: best late pass discoveries of the 2010s

1nce Again fuck waiting until List Making Season™ when I've already got 50 unfuckwithable choonz right now. The best Rap/Rap & Bullshit songs from decade's past that I've discovered in the last 10 years: a mixture of tracks I prefer as instrumentals, slept-on singles, B-sides, original versions I prefer to the re-recordings, tracks which ended up on promo 12"s due to sample issues, album cuts, compilation exclusives, mixtape cuts, hit singles which didn't find their way into my orbit, future-hit singles which didn't blow up until 2010, regional anthems, slept on remixes, street DVD singles, beatjacks I prefer to the originals, and obscure loosies. Honourable mention of sorts goes to the lesser-heard uncensored version of the Firm Biz (World's Famous Mix) as finally found by Step Won.

Whodini - Magic's Wand (instrumental) (1982)
Disco Four - Throwdown (1983)
Positive K ft. King Of Chill - Step Up Front (3 Heineken Technique) (1988)
Mac Dre & DJ Cee - Donkey Ain't Free (1989)
Filthy Phil - Deadgiveaway (1992)
2Pac - Fuck All Y'All (O.G mix) (1994/1998)
Dolamite - Hustlas (1995)
Teddy ft. Dru Down & Yukmouth - Are You In The Mood? (LP mix) (1995)
Herb McGruff - Creep (1996)
Cheeky Blakk - Keep It On The Real (1996)
Khayree ft. Mac Dre - Back 2 My Mission (1997)
Young Bleed - A Fool (1997)
Casual - Who Do That? (1997)
Total ft. Missy Elliot - What About Us? (1997)
AZ ft. Jermaine Dupri - Rock Me (Hey AZ So So Def mix) (1998)
Raheem The Dream - Freak No Mo' (1998)
Juvenile ft. B.G. - 187 (1999)
Jiggs & Cheeks - Hustle Til I Die (1999)
Z-Man - White Girls Wit Ass (1999)
Mista Madd ft. Slim Thug & Yungstar - Down South (1999)
SPM ft. Baby Beesh - Oh My My (2000)
Jagged Edge ft. Jermaine Dupri & Loon - Promise (Cool JD remix) (2000)
Tim Trees - Bank Roll (2000)
Camu Tao - Hold The Floor (2001)
Dubee & Mac Dre - You Ain't My Dog (2001)
Twista & Legit Ballaz ft. Johnny P - Ball With Us (2001)
Edan ft. Skillz Ferguson - Adrenaline Rush (2001)
Dru Down - Gangstafied (2002)
Lil' Jon - Play No Games (instrumental) (2002)
Fat Tone - Ima Getcha (2002)
5th Ward Weebie - Supa Sunday In N.O (2003)
Loon - This Ain't Funny (2003)
Max Minelli - My First Verse (2003)
A-Mafia - Mafia Anthem (2003)
Husalah - Inshallah (In God's Will) (2003)
Agallah - Gun Go (2004)
N.O.R.E ft. Peedi Crakk - N*ggarican (2004)
J. Valentine & Bailey - Go Dumb (I'm Sprung Yay Area remix) (2006)
A-Wax - Gatez (2007)
Jim Jones, Max B & Mel Matrix - Anniversary (2007)
DB Tha General - Intro (2007)
BallGreezy - Shone (2007)
Max B & Styles P - Kill That Faggot (remix) (2008)
Yelawolf - Beer Buzz (2008)
Uncle Murda - Anybody Can Get It (2008)
3 Deep - Say What I Wanna Say (2008)
Newcleus - Programmed 4 L.O.V.E (2009)
Grand Puba ft. Q-Tip - Good To Go (2009)
Jae Millz - Sober (2009)
Waka Flocka Flame - Hard In Da Paint (2009)

Some bloggas and self-styled tastemakers will swear they were up on Hard In Da Paint when it first dropped in 2009 but, other than Rey, they are ALL lying through their fingertips. Don't front because ya boy is out back ready to Google your best of 2009 list if you come through flagrant.

Tuesday, 11 June 2019

Bo Giggley

Not really feelin' Sonniebo's new single as a song. As a 40 second snippet used to soundtrack an Instagram giggin' challenge, however, it's a Blap Supremo™:

It's inevitable that 80% of all Rap songs will be 30 seconds long by 2021. It's also inevitable that 50% of rappers will still do that lazy say-the-same-line-twice-in-a-row trick on them.

Saturday, 8 June 2019

More like Better Late Than Never

It's never too late to shoot a video for a truly great Rap song. The Proof? Young Bleed & Max Minelli just shot a video for a track that's now over 20 years old. Better Than The Last Time was supposed to be a Max solo track for one of the Concentration Camp compilations but C-Loc liked it so much he got Bleed to add a verse and asked Master P to include it on My Balls and My Word. Proper 5 Star General Max Pain & Bionic Bleed material:

"All I want for Christmas is 12 gold teeth
A fresh candy blue jeep, and .44 heat
I'm hot-headed on some cold streets
And not a motherfucker wanna hold me when I'm lonely"

Young Bleed ft. Max Minelli - Better Than The Last Time
(From My Balls and My Word album; 1998/YouTube; 2019)

Need a deluxe remastered CD reissue of My Balls and My Word with A Fool on there + a bonus DVD of FrankieThaLuckyDog doing a live video review of the full album.

Wednesday, 5 June 2019

Orange Krushed

In 1983 Larry Smith & Davy DMX of Orange Krush pivoted to producing Rap records and used a rough approximation of the same Oberheim DMX drum pattern on 4 very different songs that year. Early 80s Rap is so badly documented that it's damn near impossible to work out the chronology of the '83 Smith & DMX productions, so I threw 'em together as a mini-playlist in the order they sound best in: from the Disco-DMX hybrid of Spoonie Gee's The Big Beat to the tuff bahdangdiddydiddy minimalism of Lovebug Starski's Live At The Disco Fever to the stark brutality of Run-D.M.C's Sucker M.C's to the Electro scratch-madness of Fearless Four's F-4000.

~~Larry Smith & Davy DMX - Orange Krushed Ya Speakers In 1983~~
Spoonie Gee - The Big Beat (1983)
Love Bug Starski - Live At The Disco Fever (1983)
Run-D.M.C - Sucker M.C's (1983)
The Fearless Four - F-4000 (1983)

Davy DMX being Kurtis Blow's younger sibling explains why Davy ghost-produced all those tracks Kurtis was credited for dunnit? Even back then the Rap game was all politics and paperwork, but there were loopholes to let ya baby-brother producer get a slice of the pie.

Monday, 3 June 2019

It Beas' that way sometimes, papi

When Russell Simmons booked a performance for the Beastie Boys at Disco Fever in 1984, the Beasties were stoked because it was the South Bronx's craziest/sexiest/coolest nightclub. Problem was, they were scheduled to perform before midnight, thus the place was near-empty except for a dozen hardened barflys who were busy drinkin', minglin' and smokin' coco puffs. So when Russell Simmons let the Beastie Boys perform She's On It in Krush Groove in 1985, the Beasties used it as an opportunity to reimagine how their Disco Fever performance went down. Art imitating fantasy, the essence of Rap music innit.

The Beasties later went on to casually dismiss She's On It as a relic of their Def Jam era and now refer to the song as "Cheese Omelette". A lesson ya host learned a long time ago is never trust rapper's opinions about their own music, so fuck what the Beasties think because She's On It is peak juvenile 80's Rock-Rap and shoulda been included on Licensed to Ill for maximum Big Rick (Rubin) Energy™.

Beastie Boys - She's On It
(From Krush Groove soundtrack; 1985)

Sunday, 2 June 2019

It's so rowdy in the Rouge

"I said I hit da drink twice and then holla FREEKO
Bitch, I been up in that water like I'm Finding Nemo
Better get up out my space befo' you catch a Bebo
I'm so sick of love songs, I don't fuck with Ne-Yo"

Eatem - Hit Da Drink Twice (Martorialist edit)
(From t'internet; 2019)

Some Baton Rouge brawl music for the weekend, sir/ma'am? This new Eatem song had a cameo from some bloke called Lil' Larry who didn't act enough of a donkey on the track so I got Jack The Snipper to edit his verse out. Since that Stamina joint still ain't dropped, this is Eatem's best shit since Side N*gga.

Thursday, 30 May 2019

Generic list post: May 2019

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Tommeh Robinson flopped harder than Eric Vanderslice's stomach. Also the month when The Camel™ looked like a dog's-dinner - Jay-Z now wants for nothing in life but hasn't put together a decent outfit since he was broke.

70th Street Carlos - Play For (2019)
70th Street Carlos ft. Sauce Walka - Drip On 70th Street (2019)
Ether ft. Fivio Foreign & Mr. Swipey - WAKA (2019)
Polo G - Deep Wounds (2019)
Suga Free ft. Kokane - Hole In My Heart (2019)
Suga Free - Premium Game (2019)

Other notables: that new Slick Rick snippet potentially sounds like the best use of Funkadelic's (Not Just) Knee Deep since 1989; Queen Key's RBA is the ideal B-side to Ratchett innit; that new Max B & French Montana single isn't what I wanted from a new Max B & French Montana single but it'd probably sound decent sailin' on the sea of shite that is Rap radio in 2019; that other new Max B & French Montana single is ruined by the Auto-Tune and the jankey beat during the hook; Baby Money's I'm Coming was my favourite random find of the month: BlocBoy JB's Mercedes is aiight but not a Mercedes of the Heather Graham in License To Drive caliber; Father forgive me because the new Flo Rida & Sage The Gemini song isn't fit to be mentioned in the same sentence as GDFR; alas The Madd Felon & The Gatlin couldn't quite make a song which lives up to their Rap monikers; even Australians are doin' Drill now (comin' soon: Kill Skip by Lil' Herb & Lil Bar-B?)

Bonus beats: Ya boy's top 50 non-rap songs of the 2010s.

Tuesday, 28 May 2019

28 'Grams

Two years later Big Choo is STILL posting snippets from his remake of Dolamite's Hustlas that he STILL hasn't dropped. I'm about to fly to Louisiana and pay a crackhead to run up on Choo and give him a Chinese burn every day until he releases this damn song.

Just checking Choo's Instagram story and he's now teasing a Bounce remake of Tove Lo's Bork-House classic Habits (Stay High). FFS, I swear this fella was put on Earth to personally Bop-tease me. Lookin' forward to that shit droppin' on Nevuary 1st.

Monday, 27 May 2019

"And now for something completely different..." (part 2)

The first wave of British Punks had shit twisted like that lass from It Follows: they thought Tony Parsons was a good writer, they preferred The Clash's Janie Jones to The Damned's Neat Neat Neat, they dismissed Generation X as posers when Dancing With Myself turned out to be an apex of the genre, and they didn't give The Undertones' True Confessions its proper due.

The Undertones - True Confessions
(From Teenage Kicks EP; 1978)

If True Confessions ain't better than Teenage Kicks then it's the Undertones song where Feargal Sharkey really gets to let rip with his trademark vocal-quiver. Son could pull that shit off live too as he proved when they performed it on the Old Grey Whistle Test in full samurai guitar craic mode.

Bonus beats: much like The Buzzcocks, The Undertones didn't even bother putting their best songs on their albums. 4th single is a top 3 Undertones song and peak O.G pop-Punk.

The Undertones - You've Got My Number (Why Don't You Use It?)
(From You've Got My Number (Why Don't You Use It?) single; 1979)

Impressively, Feargal seemed to have a different turtleneck for every TV appearance. Even more impressively, he looked like an Irish choirboy and a Scottish grandfather at the SAME DAMN TIME!

Friday, 24 May 2019


"And she do what I say so
But she Play-Doh, save her in my phone as Plato"

Ether ft. Fivio Foreign & Mr. Swipey - WAKA
(From the internet; 2019)

Pink Chardonnay is an ill blogger because he found the first fun New York Drill song. Well, it probably registers as N.Y Drill to the average listener, but it's more like Chicken Noodle Soup for the Bobby Shmurda generation. Call 'em what you want, they're all Uncle Murda's children to some degree.

Wednesday, 22 May 2019

Oi Drizzle

Fuck being snarky, Messy Mart is complicated. As, indeed, is Edan's music.

1. Can't front, back in 2001 I dismissed Edan as a period-piece pastiche artist with an amusing Ultramagnetic MC's homage and was only interested in him as a DJ. It wasn't until a year later I became a fan of his music after catching a live show where he flipped my script with Run That Shit! and the Emcees Smoke Crack remix.

2. What I dig about Edan's best shit is that it has a similar strain of smart-arse bratty humour to Paul's Boutique-era Beastie Boys but from the perspective of a super-scientifikal Rap savant who uses Percee P's Lung Collapsing Lyrics as a Rosetta Stone. Also, his beats knock.

3. I only ride for Edan as a singles artist - as in, you don't really need to bother with any of his 3 albums because you can find all his best songs on his various 12"s, EP's, and 7"s (Primitive Plus does have a few jams, though tbf.)

4. I've never undertood the luv for Beauty And The Beat. Nowt to do with the switch in production sound, and everything to do with his smart-arse bratty humour being replaced with those painfully earnest Hip Hop Historian 101 rhymes.

5. Were there many other Rappers "feasibly in the same ballpark" as Edan? Aside from maybe J-Zone, I can't think of a single other Rapper from the late 90s/early '00s indie-Rap scene who was making music as simultaneously funny & funky as Edan's best shit (no A.C The P.D @ funny & funky.)

6. Edan is responsible for me enjoying Mr. Lif - a feat no other producer has managed thus far. Ditto Homeboy Sandman.

7. Anbody else ever get weirded out by Edan's scatalogical obsession? No shotz/shitz, but he definitely comes across as the sort of bloke who might have rubbed one out to 2 Girls, 1 Cup.

**EDIT** Per request, strictly from singles top 10 Edan joints:

Edan ft. Skillz Ferguson - The E's Have It (1999)
Edan - Migraine (1999)
Edan - Ultra '88 (2001)
Edan ft. Mr. Lif - Rapperfection (2001)
Edan ft. Skillz Ferguson - Adrenaline Rush (2001)
Edan - Run That Shit! (2002)
Edan ft. Skillz Ferguson - Clinical Rhymes (2002)
Edan - Emcees Smoke Crack (Remix) (2002)
Edan - I'll Come Running Back To You (2002)
Edan - Funky Rhyming (2005)

Saturday, 18 May 2019

**Max B on Why You Do That voice**

Ya host is like "I don't even like Durk-core BUT.. but I fuck with this new Polo G shit right here!" This that grown & gorgeous shit with #bars and pathos for the summer, the winter, 4th quarter, whatever... owwww. Soul shit.

"I've been scarred by your love, left my heart bleedin’
My soul posted in the shadow with some dark demons
I'm on the E-way in a fast foreign car speedin'
.223s spit out quick when that chopper ringin’
We ain't never duckin' beef, bitch, we not vegan
My lil' n*ggas 'bout that action, they be Glock-squeezin'
Red beams on his head, now his top leakin'
I heard that boy got manned down and now the opps grievin'"

Polo G - Deep Wounds
(From t'internet; 2019)

For posterity, bonus beats:

Friday, 17 May 2019

Space Age Pimpin' 4 real

Jimmy Spicer came to Earth on a meterorite, Suga Free & the atomic frog Kokane came to our square Earth in a spaceship like The Thing. Sod a Street, this is Galaxy Gospel: men are from Mars, women are from Venus, pimps are from Pluto, hoes will lick Uranus, and simps can get a metaphorical Neptune's kiss.

"First of all I'm Mr. Cushy
I catch a bitch, I break a bitch, I make her sell her pussy
N*gga, this your girlfriend
If that bitch decide to A.W.O.L right now your whole world end"

Suga Free ft. Kokane - Hole In My Heart
(From The Resurrection album; 2019)

Pink Chardonnay esquire asked if Suga Free is moshing in the video, and there's some definite Magic Don Jonathan Davis from KoRn moves goin' down - a pimp can't always Dip Da when shit is real out in the Fieldy. Anyhoo, hat tip to Suga Kane for gettin' 3/4 of the Bring It On gang back together.

Tuesday, 14 May 2019

Manchester's alright if you like saxophones

808 State - Pacific 707
(From Pacific single; 1989)

808 State don't like it when you say that Pacific is A Guy Called Gerald's song which Graham Massey played saxophone on.

A Guy Called Gerald doesn't like it when you say that Pacific is better than Voodoo Ray.

Mancunians don't like it when you say that Pacific almost single-handedly redeemed the Madchester era.

Londoners don't like it when you say that Pacific bodies any dance music from down south.

Americans don't like it when you say that Pacific bettered Chicago at its own game by truly putting the Acid into Acid House.

There were at least 5 different mixes of Pacific in 1989 alone starting with Pacific State from the Quadrastate EP, but the Pacific 707 single mix up top is the definitive one. You've gotta be a right dry-eared rando if you consider Pacific anything other than the G.O.A.T British song of the last 30 years. If a case could be made that Hip Hop kulcha's introduction to the U.K has been as inadvertently devastating as the introduction of grey squirrels to these shores, the exact opposite is true of House music - Chicago stays creating it, the U.K stays taking it and making it even better.

Friday, 10 May 2019

Boy, your bitch ugly and I heard she had 3 toes

70th Street Carlos ft. Sauce Walka - Drip On 70th Street
(From t'internet; 2019)

It's a beautiful thing when a song lives up to its teaser snippet innit? The Rou' & the Hou' uniting for a cross-country whoadie rodeo. Never liked Sauce Walka previously meself, so I'm surprised how successfully he's pivoted to WNC Berserker Bounce™ here by sounding like UNCle Whop Bezzy.

Bonus beats: Play For makes the ideal B-side to this one.

70th Street Carlos - Play For
(From t'internet; 2019)

Thursday, 9 May 2019

Generic list post: top 50 non-rap songs of the 2010s imho

Picture me waitin' until List Making Season™ to drop my best non-Rap songs of the 2010's post when I've already got 50 unfuckwithable choonz right now. I ain't enough of a generalist to be able to determine whether this was a good decade for Other Genres™, but there was a sweet 3 year run from 2013 to 2016 where my taste & popular non-Rap music realigned and I could hear loadsa my favourite songs du jour out in bars for the first time since the mid 2000's. So, raise a motherfuckin' toast to the decade when Inspector Norse went from being an underground anthem your raver m8 puts you onto to a P4k listicle token dance song to soundtracking talkSPORT segments about Mike Parry trying to lose weight.

The-Dream - Yamaha (2010)
Danzig - Black Candy (2010)
Todd Terje - Inspector Norse (2012)
Miguel - Adorn (2012)
DJ Q - JD & Coke (2012)
Ty Dolla $ign - My Cabana (O.G video version) (2012)
Robosonic & Adana Twins - La Fique (2013)
Omar-S - Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself (2013)
DJ Snake ft. Lil' Jon - Turn Down For What (2014)
DEV ft. Sage The Gemini - Kiss It (2014)
Vybz Kartel - Miami Vice Episode (2014)
D'Angelo & The Vanguard - Sugah Daddy (2014)
Usher - Good Kisser (2014)
Shaggy ft. Maxi Priest & Super Cat - Night Flight (2014)
The Kid Ryan ft. Problem & Mr. Smith - No Boundaries (2014)
Kevin MacLeod - Black Vortex (2014)
Julio Bashmore ft. J'Danna - Rhythm Of Auld (2014)
Spice - Needle Eye (2015)
David Zowie - House Every Weekend (2015)
Busy Signal - Text Message (2015)
Charli XCX - Doing It (O.G solo version) (2015)
Robin Schulz ft. Francesco Yates - Sugar (2015)
John Carpenter - Night (2015)
Justin Bieber - Sorry (2015)
Charles Bradley - Changes (2015)
Major Lazer & DJ Snake ft. MØ - Lean On (2015)
Courtney Love - Walk Out On Me (2015)
Shatta Wale - Hol' It (2015)
Chi Ching Ching - Nacho (2016)
Tinashe - Touch Pass (2016)
DāM-FunK - Hazy Stomp (2016)
Carolyn Rodriguez ft. Kap G - On The Grind (2016)
Dexta Daps - Chinese Jordan (2016)
Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign - Work From Home (2016)
Kwamz & Flava - Takeover (O.G version) (2016)
Shift K3Y - Like This (2016)
Popcaan - Tight Pussy Wine (2016)
Moelogo - Penkele (2016)
Simoncino - Beyond The Dance (Mr. Fingers Dark Mix) (2016)
Maleek Berry - Kontrol (2016)
Tove Lo - Disco Tits (2017)
Diron Animal - Don't Stop (2017)
Jacquees & Dej Loaf - At The Club (2017)
8 Bit Universe - XO Tour Llif3 (2017)
Wande Coal & DJ Tunez - Iskaba (2017)
Tamia - Leave It Smokin' (2018)
Donae'o - Chalice (Martorialist edit) (2018)
Juiceboxxx - Ripping Up My Soul (2018)
Mr. Fingers - Full Moon (2018)
Kreayshawn - Not My Job (Punk Cover) (2018)
SAULT - Foot On Necks (2019)

Related: the best international Rap songs of the 2010s.

Tuesday, 7 May 2019

Pop, lock, and cock it

"N*ggas buildin' walkways, you already burnt your bridge"

Baby Money - I'm Coming
(From YouTube; 2019)

Some ol' Robotic futuristic George Jetson type random Detroit street shit that Mr. Wiggles could pop & lock to.

Saturday, 4 May 2019

Computer's Putin

**Chas Smash from Madness voice** Don't watch dat, watch dis:

Suga Free & DJ Quik just dropped a threequel to Why U Bullshittin'. Read Suga Free's verse in psalm, but the refreaked production isn't strong enough to withstand needless verses by someone from the Outlawz and Quik himself. Smell my thumb.

Of course, true scholars of Pomona's Hoet Laureate know that Why U Bullshittin' Part 3 in all but name was on the Smell My Finger album.

Wednesday, 1 May 2019

Martorial Elegance: Stinkerbell's Story

♪♪ ..Post the folk-fiend singing folk, who don't know the meaning of water nor soap.. ♪♪

Really doe, fuck A$AP Folky. What's the deal with that unreleased Slick Rick Can't Dance To A Track If It Ain't Got No Soul song which was supposed to be on the deluxe reissue of The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick but has vanished from the final product? Dunno if it's really an olde demo track but it's MC Ricky D rhyming over Funkadelic's (Not Just) Knee Deep and I need to hear that shit ASAP.

Monday, 29 April 2019

Generic list post: April 2019

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Drake's Curse struck the red half of Manchester. Lads, it's Tottenham Audrey Graham. Hold on, we're going Hamburg on a thursday night.

Bizzie Boyz - Crazy Hard! (1988/2011)
Pete Rock - Street Dreams (Instrumental) (1996/2019)
Rich Blue - Kikan (2019)
Hit-Boy & SOB X RBE - Family Not A Group (2019)
Hoyt Axton - Telephone Booth (Ole Smokey Edit) (1974/2016)

Other notables: not technically a song, but I've been jammin' J Hus' Daily Duppy freestyle too ("big bunda, she in the Bundesliga"); that Children's Story demo from the deluxe reissue of Slick Rick's debut album is more like a Ruler's Back-era sequel where Rick only had time to write one verse; props to ANU for finding the first notable Baby Soulja song since Dirty; Doe Boy's Walk Down is 2019's first entry in Boyz-N-The-Hood-core canon; didn't like anything on that new Rico Nasty EP meself.

Saturday, 27 April 2019

Two reasons why that new Pete Rock instrumental album is actually notable

Pete Rock - Street Dreams (Instrumental)
(From the vaults; 1996/Return Of The SP1200M album; 2019)

1. It includes the instrumental of Pete Rock's unofficial remix of Nas & R. Kelly's Street Dreams remix. The nonce's hook sounded like a tomtit-on-a-round-of-beef over Pete's beat so Street Dreams works better as an instrumental. Might work even better still with AZ visualin' some sage Schweppervesence street ghetto essence over it, mind.

Pete Rock - Food 4 Thought (Instrumental)
(From the vaults; 199?/Return Of The SP1200M album; 2019)

2. It also includes this track which is just beggin' for someone to bless it. Pete and Max B already have chemistry together so Pete should slide Food 4 Thought to the side until Max gets outta the slammer. Biggavelz could transform this one into some transcendental waviness by reflecting on his years wasted in prison, and it'd keep his post-prison music grounded before he inevitably ends up doing generic Auto-Tune shit featuring A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie.

Thursday, 25 April 2019

The MartyRobbinstorialist

You, a square: pontificating about the predictability of Tyga hopping aboard 2019's Cowboy-Rap stagecoach.

Me, a connoisseur: listening to Soundcloud edits of deep cut gems by the old Country singer who played Billy's dad in Gremlins.

Hoyt Axton - Telephone Booth (Ole Smokey Edit)
(From Life Machine album; 1974/Soundcloud; 2016)

In a perfect world this Telephone Booth edit woulda been featured on the same Ultimate Breaks & Beats album as Bad Bascomb's Black Grass. Shit is funkier than Al Swearengen's piles.

Friday, 19 April 2019

Re-Up Gong: the best of A-Mafia Audiomack playlist

Well, this explains why Uptown's-Mr-Outta-Town A-Mafia hasn't dropped any new songs in the last 4 years - he's been too busy movin' mountains of beak in the outskirt cities of New York state. Doesn't seem likely we'll ever get any new music from the G.O.A.T Harlem henchman rapper again, so here's a re-up of my best of A-Mafia Audiomack playlist. 24 tracks dating back to the Purple City mixtapes in 2003 right up to his last song in 2015.

Wednesday, 17 April 2019

Generic list post: 10 from 2019

Shoes up, who's down for my top ten Rap tunes of 2019 so far? It's hard out here for ya host when I'm hearing casual Drakeisms creeping into all manner of Rap, and even harder when so much current Rap production doesn't fulfill its basic requirement of knocking. Thus, I ain't even exaggerating when I say that I'm treating every song in this list as a minor-miracle.

BlocBoy JB - House Party
Positive K & MC Lyte - I'm Still Not Havin' It
AZ - It's Time
Eat Em & Spitta - Side N*gga
DaBaby - Walker Texas Ranger
TREE - Backflip
Queen Key - Ratchett
Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Ape Drip
Quelle Chris - Obamacare
Rich Blue - Kikan

Saturday, 13 April 2019

B.I.G >>>>>> R.S.D

Notorious B.I.G - Me & My Bitch (Computer Love remix)
(From the internet; 2011)

There was never a studio version of Biggie's live performance of Me & My Bitch over Computer Love from The Show so some intrepid soul put his own bedroom blend-job together. I shoulda pressed this up on 12" for 2019 Record Store Day today, advertised it as an unreleased Bad Boy remix from 1995, sold the 12"s for £60 a pop, and watched that boutique vinylz collector sucka cash come rollin' in.

MP3 here if anyone wants it.

Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Late pass! Dance to the Ski-Beatz

"Yeah, I stole the money that ya grandmother sent ya
She tried to get it back, I punched in her dentures"

Bizzie Boyz - Crazy Hard!
(From the vaults; 1988/Rare & Unreleased '87 - '89 EP; 2011)

Now, this is a proper banger - the I'm Bad of North Carolina. Say what, you don't believe me? Yo, Scout's honour. Makes zero sense that Crazy Hard! and Brainstorm got shelved back in 1988 because they're probably the best songs the Bizzie Boyz ever recorded. Presumably the M.C Willski-era Ski of Crazy Hard was just too ig'nant for Payroll Records in '88?

"Yeah I know ya brother, I called him a punk
Had a gun to my head and I was still talkin' junk"

Thursday, 4 April 2019

In the Soviets we drink vodka, brah!

"I'll slam a n*gga on his fuckin' neck
Give him a heart attack in his fuckin' back"

Rich Blue - Kikan
(From Out The Blue mixtape; 2019)

Maniacal Detroit stream-of-consciousness shit by the Hands Hands guy. Been waitin' on this song for the proverbial hot minute and now it's here I can't decide if it's gas or ass - maybe both? (In the Soviets, song waits for you, brah!) I guess you've gotta take the bona fide quotables with the brain-queefs.

Tuesday, 2 April 2019

Lone bloggas who candidly flip fly prose single handedly with one eye closed (no Byron Crawford)


MF DOOM ft. Kurious - ?
(From Operation Doomsday album; 1999)

Ayo yo, you can't stand right here, April 20th is gonna be ya man's worst nightmare. Why? Because the internet is gonna be awash with Operation Doomsday 20th anniversary articles by those corny Indie fux who hold the tragic opinion that Madvillainy is DOOM's masterpiece. Obviously it's now or never like Tela, and I ain't tryna suck the life outta your P4K pitch idea like Bauhaus' muse Bela, but please refrain from writing anything if you've ever worn a straw hat like Dana Dane's Cinderfella.

Not that the obscurist Rap contrarians who prefer the sloppy O.G 12" mixes of Hey!, Go With The Flow et al to the perfecto Operation Doomsday re-recordings aren't equally annoying as #Madvillianhive, mind. Shakedowns, lockdowns, and wet dreams of Mrs Brown for the lot of you.

PS: no straw hats ever unless you were Mac Dre.

Sunday, 31 March 2019

Generic list post: March 2019

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Scott Walker died before he could drop his song with 70th Street Carlos. Really doe, a sincere R.I.P to Ranking Roger from The Beat.

Jakki Tha Motamouth ft. Copywrite - Widespread (2000)
Max B - Take A Flick (CDQ) (2007/2015)
AzChike - Big Chop (2018)
BlocBoy JB - House Party (2019)
TREE - Backflip (2019)
Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Ape Drip (2019)

Other notables: thank fuck someone fixed the low-end problems on Queen Key's Ratchett; just getting round to the new Quelle Chris album and Obamacare seems like the obvious highlight; this Peezy song is a good example of Detroit beatjack-Rap; if nothing else, there's now a 2019 Rap song which samples the Twilight Zone theme; heartwarming to hear Young Bleed & Max Minelli together again; kinda prefer the Mouse On Tha Track instrumental of this AK Da Ace & 70th Street Carlos song.

Friday, 29 March 2019

Who shot Phats & Small? If we don't get 'em they gon' get us all

It's bigger than HIP HOP HIP HOP today. As Canibus nearly once said, Stardust's Music Sounds Better With You was the most overrated song I've ever heard in my life because the greatest Filter-House choon of all time dropped on March 29th 1999:

Phats & Small ft. Vanessa Feltz's future husband - Turn Around
(From Now Phats What I Small Music album; 1999)

Officially 20 years old today this tune. If FACT Mag doesn't drop an oral history of Turn Around anniversary article in the next 24 hours then they're the police.. actual FACT! Remember dem dayz when Britain could waltz right into continental Europe and snatch a sub-genre from right under Johnny Foreigner's nose? Turn Around is Nigel Farage's utopian Brexit in audio form innit.

Thursday, 28 March 2019

Shout out to Karate Joe

TREE - Backflip
(From We Grown Now album; 2019)

Have a load of Hong Kong TREEey here on my favourite sing-sang song by him in yonks. I got crazy visions for the video, BOOM: it's TREE sittin' in a rocking chair on a porch while The Wongs from The Wanderers and the Ruff Ryders roster circa 2000 indulge in some Kung Fu fighting on TREE's lawn. Obviously the video would be the trailer for a spin-off movie called Enter The Drag-On.

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

Born To Audiomack: 2019 late pass! (so far)

If you know me then you'll already know that I'm constantly dipping back into the past like Rodney in Goodnight Sweetheart. Thus, here's a playlist of my favourite new-to-me discoveries of 2019 so far. Has somebody farted? No, this playlist is just THE shit.

Bizzie Boyz - Brainstorm [1988/2011]
Filthy Phil - Deadgiveaway [1992]
Jakki Tha Motamouth ft. Copywrite - Widespread [2000]
Dubee & Mac Dre - You Ain't My Dog [2001]
Cam'Ron ft. Ted Dibiase & Frank Muller - Oh Boy (Philly Remix) [2002]
Husalah - Inshallah (In God's Will) [2003]
Max B - Take A Flick (CDQ) [2007/2015]
Pablo Skywalkin - No Big Homie [2017]
AzChike - Big Chop [2018]
Eat Em & Spitta - Side N*gga [2018]