Thrashin', Gleaming The Cube, and Lords Of Dogtown all have their merits as far as movies about skating go, but if there's one thing each of them lacks then it's a scene where someone gets nailed from behind (no that rumour about Nicky Hilton having a penchant for butt-fucking her boyfriends with a strap-on) by a dude swinging a skateboard. A cowardly move, perhaps, but if there's one thing which watching wrestling has taught me it's that it's always funnier if they don't see it coming.
I think this is the point where I'm supposed to embed the Washington Square Park beatdown scene from Kids where Harold bonks Ellsworth "Cisco" Davis's character on the back of his bonce before Casper's crew stomp him out, and then talk about Casper's Independent tee, that rogue Supreme red box logo looming in and out of shot, how hearing Tribe's Oh My God and Good Morning, Captain by Slint in the same movie was a wondrous thing to behold back in the mid nineties, and maybe even make an innappropriate joke about Justin Pierce's suicide involving his wife's affair with Guy Mariano, but, nah, it ain't happening since Harold's thwack looks about as effective a K.O as a sixties Batman tv show punch or Umaga's Samoan Spike, which was surely the least convincing finishing move in wrestling.
The greatest from-behind K.O by a skateboard toting fellow in a movie would actually be the one in Observe And Report where Ronnie and Dennis chase the last kid standing in their patrol buggy after leaving his skating chums battered & bruised, and Ronnie hits the kid right in the back of the dome with one of his pal's decks as he's trying to make to his getaway. Take his roof off, call him JFK :
A much funnier movie than any of Rogen's efforts with Apatow and by far the best thing he's been invloved in since Freaks And Geeks, although I'd been led to believe it was slightly darker in tone so I was fully expecting the mall flasher to be Rogen's schizoid alter-ego to manoeuvre his Rupert Pupkin-ish character into swampier Travis Bickle territory. Nevermind, though, because Anna Faris's character Brandi finally surpasses that bit in the first Scary Movie flick where she breaks wind in the bath and then sniffs it with her 6 word punchline in this scene, which I'm sure went down a treat on Tigerbeatdown.com.
Bonus skateboarder friendly hipster-rap beats which aren't mad gay like Theopolis London or that kid with the mohawk who did the mixtape with Young Dro :
Zed Zilla - I'm Da Boss
Was tempted to go for I'm Mikey by The Cool Kids here (still a jam which bumps harder than pretty much anything by a current blog darling like Freddie Gibbs), but decided to go for something more modern instead since hipster-rap has now spread to the deep south. I guess Zed Zilla's new steez is what happens when Yo' Gotti decides he needs a token hipster-rapper in his camp and hires Rachel Zoe to style his youngest weed-carrier as Wiz Khalifa I'm thinking I'm Da Boss is gonna end up being my 2010 version of Boy Looka Here by Rich Boy : a slightly gimmicky but ridiculously catchy banger by a lithe rapper in aviators who has such a slurred regional accent that I can't decipher a quarter of what he's saying, but it's not a problem since I like the way in which he's saying it. Here's hoping that Jeezy also procures himself a token hipster-rapper for the CTE roster of rappers who'll never release an album after White-gate revealed that his finding-rappers-for-every-demographic skills are unmatched.