Monday, 16 September 2013

This is reality-Rap, we really go through it

We've got 3 and a half months to go yet but I think it's safe to predict that J-Zone's Crib Issues is 2013's best example of why Rap is the only genre of music any man over the age of 21 should be listening to since it deals with the pertinent male issues of the age such as women with cats who think it's in any way acceptable to allow a filthy animal that's been out in the garden all day shitting, pissing and licking lord knows what into the bedroom :

"She wants to cuddle, I wanna creep
'Cause her cat climbed in the bed and now I can't sleep"


J-Zone - Crib Issues
(From Peter Pan Syndrome album; 2013)



J-Zone's always been a spiritual offspring of Prince Paul, so it's not surprising that Peter Pan Syndrome would be a concept album and sound akin to what you'd imagine Paul's production would sound like in 2013. The problem with him using Prince Paul as his blueprint is that neither of Paul's solo albums are exactly overflowing with the sort of jams you can throw on repeat and then rhyme along to in the shower, so it wouldn't have been a bad idea if 'Zone had looked to his other favourite great bugged-out producer/rapper auteur Mannie Fresh for some tips in the songwriting department since there's a few too many songs on PPS which function better as observational comedy skits set to banging beats than they do as, y'know, songs.

It's nice to see everyone finally hopping back onto J-Zone's nuts but where were you guys in 2006 when he released his unheralded masterpiece Every Hog Has Its Day with Celph Titled as the Bo$$ Hog Barbarian$? A CD so underrated that J-Zone barely even acknowledged it in his own memoir other than to mention he uses unsold copies of it as doorstops.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I guess one man's nostalgic cutting satire is another man's passé sour cynicism.

Thug Penis said...

Boss Hog Barbarians better than "Pimps Don't Pay No Taxes"?

Drew said...

"Gadget Ho" is even realer than "Crib Issues".

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Thug Penis (Galvy?), arguably, yes.

Drew, "Crib Issues" is a better and more poignant song, imho.

Anonymous said...

I agree with this somewhat but still like the album too.

Anonymous said...

hotter than fishgrease,period.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJph__wb8AU

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

That was my shit along with Pimp Olympics.