"I'm Chill Rob G-in' n*ggas: class is in session!"

Been goin' in on Agallah the Don Restaurant & Bistro's more recent catalogue this week parsing the gems from the germs, and it turns out my favourite choon from this autumnal period of his career is the intended intro for a project which has never been released in near-true Wrap Your Lips Around This fashion :

"Ruger or the flamethrower, bulletproof ya range rover
The champagne toaster, all my whips rollercoasters
Saturday night live, no John Travolta
Imagine me sittin' on the sofa kickin' it with Oprah
Lettin' her know this shit is real up in this G culture!"

Agallah - Rap Bobby Fischer
(From the aborted Million Dollar Hard Drive mixtape; 2010)


Agallah & Oprah! Rap Bobby Fischer sounds exactly how you'd expect a 2010 Agallah song to sound and features all the usual hostility, alliteration and ludicrous boasts you'd expect from an Agallah song of any vintage, so it slots nicely into his oeuvre as a direct descendant of the Adolf "8-Off" Agallah interlude from Tony Touch's first album. What really marks this out as a potential future Agallah classic is his [sic] reference to Chill Rob G's Court Is Now In Session; a namedropping faux-pas of Game-esque proportions which he just about gets away with since it came 3 years before Eminem made it kewl to shout out members of the Flavor Unit.

Agallah: 1, Aftermath: -0

Google doesn't care about blk ppl

When a novelty white Youtube rapper from Norway beloved of ironic AmeriKKKan racists is ranking higher on Google search than Yung Joc, Yungstar, Yung Whatshisname from WW3, Yung Nation and the plethora of other Yung rappers then you know that it's probably time to blow Rap music up and start an entire new genre.

Similarly, when Kitty Pryde is starring in the Pitchforkreviewsreviews Tumblr guy's biopic movie you know that American cinema is pretty much done as an artform.

Snap back!!!

Been waitin' on this one ever since I heard it on the Ballers Eve radio show back in september. Grip Plyaz has channeled the holy ghosts of D4L and Trap Squad a few times since Stuntman Mike (see: Let's Get To It, I Got What You Need, and Don't Give A Damn) but this might be his best stab yet at what Snap would've/could've/should've mutated into. As I may have mentioned yesterday, I haven't heard an ATLanta Rap song with a bassline as insane as this since Trap Squad's What's Happenin':

Grip Plyaz - Ray Lewis
(From t'internet; 2013)


As an ignorant British pig the song's theme is slightly confusing for me, doe: is Grip Plyaz Ray Lewis-ing in the club because he's dancing like Ray did or is it because he's gettin' away with murder in the club like, y'know, Ray also did?

Bonus Snap/sport related action: never forget the time Nigel Reo Coker did the Laffy Taffy at Highbury after he scored for West Ham against Arsenal in 2006. I sure haven't because it lost me a cool oner on an accumulator I had.

Night of the living basslines

Grip Plyaz is set to release his much-ballyhooed new single Ray Lewis tonight - good news for those of us who've been waitin' for a song outta ATL with a bassline that humongous since Trap Squad dropped What's Happenin' in 2006 (Fabo cameo version, natch). Alas GMT means I'll be tucked up in bed havin' Millionaire Dreamzzz by the time that shit drops, so Mouse On Tha Track's brand new single has got me covered until tomorrow. This is Gucci Mane's "drop racks, get it back, call that shit karma" ethos from Normal gone 2013 Baton Rogue Bounce.

"If you ballin' like you say you ballin', n*gga spend sumthin'!"

Mouse On Tha Track ft. Level - Get It Back
(From t'internet; 2013)

Rap game Sid James

It would have been churlish to begrudge Devin The Dude's post-RAP-A-LOT fall off when his run of LP's from Fadanuf Fa Erybody!! in 1994 to Waitin' To Inhale in 2007 was a better succession of albums than most of the canonized G.O.A.T's have in their catalogues. Dook had done a helluva job for 13 straight years so he'd earned the right to fade into irrelevance as a recording artist on some Texan Too $hort type shit : a lovable wilted veteran in the diminishing returns years of his career who, at the very best, has a one-good-song-every-other-album average.

So nearly 7 years after Devin's last great CD it comes as an utter shock that One For The Road has a grip of good songs. There are no surprises to be found on the album itself since this a new Devin The Dude project not Aceyalone's latest full length of Mister Señor Love Daddy impersonations over Mark Ronson-lite cod-Funk, but there's nowt wrong with a rapper bringing out their standard array of party tricks for the umpteenth time as long as there's some good tunes involved. I'm Just Gettin' Blowed and Probably Shouldn't Have are the most quintessentially Devin jams with the latter featuring excellent usage of the word shithouse in its chorus, but it's when Devin forgoes rhyming to get his Anythang on again with Hear The Sound and Still Waitin' that the album done takes flight, especially when he coos sweet nothings to some lass he's been itching to blap on the former :

Devin The Dude - Hear The Sound
(From One For The Road album; 2013)


IMHO this is what would happen if Devin were to sing a saucy letter from a 70s copy of Playboy over the sort of lush Country-Rap & Bullshit production that was Mike Dean's bread 'n' butter throughout the noughties before KanYe came callin'.

R.I.P to Paranoid by Ty$ & Joe Mo$e$

I told y'all Atlantic Records were gonna ruin one of the best singles of 2013 and boy have they ever mangled it. What even happened to the original video they were shooting at the 711 with Joe Mo$e$, DJ Mustard and YG from that behind the scenes promo clip?

I also told y'all Atlantic Records were trying to wipe the original Ketchup version with Joe Mo$e$ from the 'net and lo and behold it's now vanished from YouTube leaving the only inferior Beach House 2 version with a slightly different beat and DJ Drama yapping all over it, and the remix of the Ketchup version with some weed carrier called KDOH where Joe Mo$e$' verse has been unmastered or somethin' because it sounds like it was recorded in DJ Mustard's left armpit.

Ty$ and everybody at Atlantic involved in this utter travesty will surely spend the rest of eternity in Hell being forced to read FACT Magazine's Sad Boys article over and over and over and over and over again.

You, you only gonna do what I let you

Where the Hell has Alchemist been finding his sample sources the last couple of years? Dook came up on Prog-Rock breaks that sound like Funkadelic or Curtis Mayfield, Funk loops that sound like Hawkwind or Slip It In-era Black Flag, and Norwegian folk samples that sound like 70s soundtracks by John Carpenter or Isaac Hayes. Give Me A Reason from his album with Boldy James is (thanfkfully) less Cloud-Rap and more Cloud-Of-Opium-Smoke-Drifting-Out-Of-A-Cadillac's-Window-Rap, and that insanely macked-out guitar sample probably comes from one of the Engelbert Humperdinck LPs my grandparents got me donate to a charity shop about 10 years ago :

Boldy James ft. Vince Staples - Give Me A Reason
(From My 1st Chemistry Set album; 2013)


It's difficult to pinpoint quotables on Give Me A Reason the way Boldy's stanzas unfurl and overlap because you end up typing out a near-full verse as I found out when I was trying to convince one of my IRL Boom-Bap buddies on Facebook to check out My 1st Chemistry before I gave up and just told him the album makes the latest Prodigy & Alchemist project sound like that Treacherous 3 comeback LP from the early 90s in comparison. A slightly fabulated claim on all fronts since there's a few joints on Albert Einstein but you've really gotta sell it to these dudes who think Action Bronson and Joey Bada$$ are the only good rappers to debut in the past 5 years before they'll give anyone else new a listen, innit?

Can we get a Lil' Herb & Lil' Bibby album with production duties split between Alchemist and C-Sick next?

Generic list post : Marty Pythun & The Holy Grails

Here's my current list of holy grail Rap songs I'd probably sell my pinky toes for MP3s of given the chance. Are YOU the person who can help ya man Rollie Penzberton right chea find any of 'em?

Nas - Anything from the fabled Eric B demo
The Firm ft. Half-A-Mill - Firm Biz remix (unedited version)
Juvenile - Cash Money Gueriila + the songs from this video
Grand Puba & Postive K - Back Together Again
Lil' Boosie - That song from the B.R City DVD & Soundtrack commercial
Black Rob - Take It Off '99
Dorrough - Swangin' Beatin Down Blvd (CDQ full version with Miss Keke's verse)
ByrdGang - That studio session footage song
Da Lench Mob - Pin The Tail On The Honkey
Big Mike & Six-2 ft. Young Bleed - Down Home (CDQ unedited version)
Beastie Boys - CDQ versions of Scenario and Desperado