Surprise, bish!

Egyptian Lover - Everything She Wants
(From Everything She Wants single; 2026)


Sum shit NOBODY saw coming in 2026: Egyptian Lover covering Wham!'s Everything She Wants. I'm not sure I actually like it, but I'm glad it exists. The album mix of the Wham! song is a top 3 George Michael jam as far as I'm concerned. Kinda hilarious that a then-closeted gay bloke like George read Ester Vilar's controversial book The Manipulated Man and thought to himself "I can turn this subject into a perfect pop song!" Saturday to sunday, the Anglo-Greek Al Bundy.

Bonus beats: if you fancy some essential late-career Egyptian Lover boi, check out 5¢ Camel Ride (Long Version) or Future Compter where he reprised his Jamie Jupitor alias. The latter track sounds like ancient Cairo being attacked by Martian flying saucers and plz believe that's a compliment.

Jamie Jupitor - Future Computer
(From The Bass Academy Vol.2 12" single; 2016)

Poland Street Is Watching Part 2

This old advert is a timely reminder that the defunct Mr Bongo record shop had a stacked section of 2nd hand 80s Rap and Electro where I'd find 12" singles I'd never come across in any record shops up north. The thing about the REAL HIP-HOP™ backpack brigade who frequented Bongos was that, although they'd walk around in fat lace Adidas Superstars and Puma States, very few of them had any interest in Rap music made before 1987. Fortunately, this was good news for me because it meant ur boi could hit those used record racks like the Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil and bag loadsa early to mid 80s Rap and Electro 12"s. Thus, here's a playlist of the best early 80s choonz I picked up in Bongos. All 12 songs hail from 1983 to 1985, which was a transitioal period for Rap. An era now lost in time like peeing in the sea, but which is one of my favourite stages in Rap's evolution.

Best early 80s Rap Choonz I picked up in Mr Bongo:
1. Spoonie Gee - The Big Beat (1983)
2. Jonzun Crew - Space Is The Place (1983)
3. The Cold Crush Brothers - Fresh, Wild, Fly & Bold (1984)
4. Egyptian Lover - Computer Love (Sweet Dreams) (1984)
5. The Furious Five - New York, New York (1983)
6. Grandmaster Melle Mel - Beat Street Breakdown (1984)
7. Newcleus - Jam On It (1984)
8. Crash Crew - We Are Known As Emcees (We Turn The Party Out) (1983)
9. Roxanne with UTFO - The Real Roxanne (1984)
10. Davy DMX - The DMX Will Rock (1985)
11. Stetsasonic - Just Say Stet (1985)
12. West Street Mob - Break Dance Electric Boogie (1983)

He's the DJ, I'm The Blogger

DJ Megadon - Do It Mega
(From Do It Mega single; 2025)


Discovered via Crimedawgbylaw's best Milwaukeee Rap songs of summer 2025 list. Rappers seldom ever make tribute songs to DJs nowadays, so DJs have to get on the mic to feel themselves in song form instead. It's REAL HIP-HOP ™ in a way that's beyond comprehension to 90s Boom-Bap plebs, and charmingly wholesome in the exact same way that Hey DJ by World's Famous Supreme Team was.

Top 5 odes to their DJs by 80s Rappers IMHO:
LL Cool J - Go Cut Creator Go (1987)
Eric B. & Rakim - Eric B. Is President (1986)
Run-D.M.C - Jam-Master Jay (1984)
Marley Marl ft. MC Shan - Marley Marl Scratch (1985)
Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Jeff Waz On The Beat Box (1989)

Ladies, please!

Roxanne Shante vs. Sparky Dee - Round 1
(From Round 1 EP thingy; 1985)


Mid 80s Tuff drum-machine excellence! Spyder-D lit the fuse on Roxanne Shante & Sparky Dee's tampons and then let them rip the living piss outta each other back-and-forth on this little known 80s track. And it really should be more known because it's one of the most vicious dis songs of the 80s. No matter the medium, there's little more entertaining than a cat fight.

Wart Hog Barbarians

Allow me one more killer clip of the Ramones performing live on the British TV show Old Grey Whistle Test. Here they are cranking out Dee Dee & Johnny's hardcore-inspired choon Wart Hog in 1985. This was the song where the Reagan twentysomethings bodied Reagan Youth with their own style. Highlights include Joey awkwardly throwin' shapes with no vocals to contribute, and Richie stealin' the show by shrieking the chorus like he's accidentally stepped on a Hedgehog.

Ramones - Wart Hog (live)
(From Old Grey Whistle Test TV show; 1985)

Standing By Starz

The RAH Band - Messages From The Stars (12" mix)
(From Messages From The Stars 12" single; 1983)


LARussell & Cam Cortez - Beautiful Day In The Bay
(From From Vallejo With Love album; 2024)


Riddle me this, Blapman: how come Northen California is the only Rap region to recognise & realise the brilliance of The RAH Band's space-boogie classic Messages From The Stars? DJ Fresh freaked it for Keak Da Sneak back in 2011, and now Cam Cortez has hooked it up for LARussell in 2024. Basically, Messages From The Stars is the greatest Trevor Horn & Anne Dudley production which wasn't actually produced by Trevor Horn & Anne Dudley. Props to the song's #actual creators husband & wife Richard Hewson & Liz Winning; they put their whole artistic solar plexus into composing a choon which sounds like it was beamed down to Earth from a whole 'nother solar system.

Hanging on the telephone

LL Cool J - 1-900 L.L Cool J
(From Walking With A Panther album; 1989)


What's an LL album track beloved by you and seemingly only you? I'm a 1-900 L.L Cool J type of guy, meself. Uncle L used the 1-900 number concept before The Convicts or Roc-A-Fella, and hit the same Watermelon Man loop as the Dolly My Baby remix before Super Cat, Biggie et al. And LL did it while sounding effortlessly smug in a flow which probably made MC Shan real mad. In a perfect world 1-900 L.L Cool J woulda been the 4th single from Walking With A Panther instead of the nauseating ballad One Shot At Love.

Shit's got me thinking about what the first Rap song to start with a phone call was. Earliest I can think of is Spoonie Gee's The Big Beat. If not, The Big Beat was definitely the first Rap song to feature a "freak this" breakdown with the sound of squeaking bed springs. Insert your own Puffy joke here ----> _________.

100 grand on my Haircut, yeah life sux

Haircut 100 - Nobody's Fool
(From Nobody's Fool single; 1982)


The old saying goes that you should Save Your Best For Last™ and that's exactly what Haircut 100 did with their O.G line-up's final single. An ode to lost love with a bassline str8 outta the Bernard Edwards songbook, Nobody's Fool is a key choon in the canon of 1980s British prawn cocktail-pop, the sub-genre which blessed us with such classics as The Bitterest Pill by The Jam, Save It For Later by The Beat, Tunnel Of Love by Fun Boy Three, Careless Whisper by George Michael and too many Style Council singles to hyperlink. Keep your eyes peeled for a soon-to-be famous blonde bird as the video's love interest.

Dry-eared randos dismiss Haircut 100 as some naff cracka shit because they're blind to the factz, baby: Haircut 100's drummer was a black bloke who hailed from Memphis and whose brother was a member of The Bar-Kays, and their debut single Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets World) is the first British pop single to feature a rapped bridge. More importantly, Haircut 100 scored themselves a Larry Levan fave at N.Y.C's Paradise Garage with Ski Club Of Great Britain. The best 1972 Kool & The Gang song not recorded by 1972 Kool & The Gang or wot?

Haircut 100 - Ski Club Of Great Britain
(From B-side of Fantastic Day single; 1982)


Best Haircut 100 album track? I'm a Lemon Firebrigade man, meself.

Warning: Generation X nerd shit ahead

Back when Young Marty was a wee brat in the early 80s, the two TV shows which had me stuck to the box like Gorilla Glue were Ulysses 31 and Star Fleet. Both shows were of Japanese origin and released a year apart, so it's not surprising that they'd share similar stock musik like the stretched chiming sound which was used to signify that some dastardly shit was afoot (see the two videos above.) What is surprising is that the soundtrack score in a Lucio Fulci horror movie from the same period also features a suspiciously similar sound (hat tip to Gianluca Giallo for the spot.) What the dilly, yo? You can't tell me nothin' that Star Fleet wasn't low-key internationally influential. Even Odd Squad's Blind Rob would have to concede that Destro from G.I. Joe (1983) looks suspiciously similar to Professor Caliban from Star Fleet (1981).

Random related thoughts:

The Curse Of The Gods score from Ulysses 31 is up there with Kevin MacLeod's Black Vortex in the canon of Monumentally Ominous Instrumentals™. REAL BLACK HOLES SWALLOWING ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEMS SHIT!

Separated at birth: Barry Hercules from Star Fleet and McLaren from Porridge.

It Ain't My Falt

Harold Faltermeyer - Shoot Out
(From Axel F single; 1985)


Something I learned today: Harold Faltermeyer's Shoot Out isn't actually on the Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack even though it's featured in the movie and was the B-side to Axel F. As the dearly-departed Maori man said - how bizarre! Back in 1985 Young Marty loved Shoot Out as much as its famous A-side even though I'd never seen Beverly Hills Cop and barely knew who Eddie Murphy was - both songs just sounded like some cool electronic bodypopping music I could do The Robot to.

Then again, back in 1985 Young Marty thought any song with a synthesiser sounded like some cool electronic bodypopping music: from Paul Hardcastle's 19 to Neil Falconer's Spy Hunter arcade theme to Pet Shop Boys' West End Girls to Jan Hammer's Miami Vice theme to Madonna's Into The Groove to the Colin Baker era Doctor Who theme to Dead Or Alive's You Spin Me Round (Like A Record). It wasn't until Falco dropped Rock Me Amadeus that ya host said "I can't pop to that!"

Absolutely Fab

Fab Five Freddy - Sucker M.C's freestyle
(From ??????; 1983)


Sum shit I NEVER expected to hear: Fab 5 Freddy freestyling with chutzpah over Run-D.M.C's Sucker M.C's instrumental. If only Freddy had rhymed like this on Change The Beat. Better yet, if only Freddy had hit up Davy DMX and copped himself a Sucker M.C's Type Beat™ in the vein of Love Bug Starski's Starski Live At The Disco Fever or Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde's A.M P.M. Freddy's wearing his clobber from Wild Style in this clip so maybe it was some sort of promotional appearance for the movie?

That's what you pay your licence fee for!

Apropos of the BBC repeating Public Enemy's Behind The Beat special last weekend, here's P.E's live performance of Rebel Without A Pause filmed at London's Hammersmith Odeon in 1987. You might not have seen the Behind The Beat special, but you've definitely heard it because it's Public Enemy's infamous live show which was used throughout It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back. Peep Chuck D's very rare onstage outfit: #athleisurewear white jogging suit, Flavor Flav clock around his neck, and the brim of his baseball cap flipped up like he's Mike Muir from Suicidal Tendencies.

First live Rap concert ya host ever saw was Public Enemy in 1992. I was still in high school, but I was already 6 feet high & rising so I got in the venue no problem. Incredible show featuring all the classics from the first 4 P.E albums, and the group hadn't yet ruined their own live performances with Real Musicians™ playing Real Instruments™. You just can't recreate them Bomb Squad beats with a backing band, even if the backing band includes a low end auteurist like Davy DMX on bass guitar.

Generic list post: can you believe 1983 was 40 years ago?

Gonna tell my kid this was Reservoir Dogs.

I might be the wrong side of 40 in 2023, but even I was a mere shorty in 1983. Truth be told, the only Rap song Young Marty had heard in '83 was Kenny Everett's Snot Rap because my primary interests were the Star Wars toyline and the Star Fleet TV show. But as an adult Rap connoisseur I find myself continuously returning to the music of 1983 since it was a particularly vintage year: Rap underwent its first big change in sound; some great Rap songs with no rapping were released; and a handful of songs which came from outside Hip-Hop were embraced by The Culture™ and have gone on to be bona fide classics. Here's proof in the form of my favourite 1983 Rap choonz. As ever, no particular order of preference and one song per artist.

Best Rap songs of 1983 IMHO:
Run-D.M.C. - Sucker M.C's
Jimmy Spicer - Money (Dollar Bill Y'all)
Spoonie Gee - The Big Beat (7" edit)
Love Bug Starski - You've Gotta Believe
The Fearless Four - F-4000
Herbie Hancock ft. Grand Mixer D.ST - Rockit
Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde - Gettin' Money
Disco Four - Throwdown
Cybotron - Clear
Rammellzee Vs. K-Rob - Beat Bop
Sexual Harrassment - I Need A Freak
Newcleus - Jam On Revenge (The Wikki-Wikki Song)
Whodini - Haunted House Of Rock
Beastie Boys - Cooky Puss
Hashim - Al-Naayfiysh (The Soul)
The Furious Five - New York New York
Grand Master Melle Mel - White Lines (Don't Do It)
Crash Crew - We Are Known As Emcees (We Turn Parties Out)
West Street Mob - Break Dance - Electric Boogie
Dimples D. - Sucker D.J's (I Will Survive)
Chris Stein & Fab 5 Freddy - Down By Law
Jonzun Crew - Space Is The Place
G.L.O.B.E. & Whiz Kid – Play That Beat Mr. D.J
Art Of Noise - Beat Box
Malcolm McLaren & World Famous Supreme Team - World Famous
Uncle Jamms Army - Dial-A-Freak

Bonus beats: 1983's best Rap song which isn't exactly a song? Double Trouble's Stoop Rap routine from the movie Wild Style. Obviously, it was the inspiration for Nas & AZ's Sprite commercial and Jurassic 5's shtick. Less obviously, it was the precursor to Suga Free's kitchen table freestyle and Alpoko Don's steez.

**EDIT** Robbie Unkut tells me this list needs a track by The B-Boys so I'd plump for Two, Three, Break. David Drake suggested Fresh 3 M.C's Fresh and, fair play, that's a good pick. Fred asked whether Too $hort released anything this year and I remembered that there's an underground Too $hort & Freddy B song over Smerphies Dance which could possibly date back to 1983? Party Sparty reminded me that Roland Rat's Rat Rapping dropped in 1983 and, as it turns out, that was the first Rap single I ever bought; my m8 Dave says I should have included Fantasy Three's Biters In The City.

7 and 7 Is

Reggie Griffin & Technofunk - Mirda Rock (7" edit)
(From Mirda Rock 7" single; 1982)


Mirda Rock AKA the missing link between the vocoder-funk of Glory's Let's Get Nice and the wacky Electro-pop of Oingo Boingo's Weird Science theme. Much like Glory's Let's Get Nice, Mirda Rock is one of those early 80s choonz which hits hardest in its truncated 7" mix as opposed to the regular 12" mix that outstays its welcome by a couple of minutes. Notably used by 2 Live Crew in 1986 and Arabian Prince in 1989, Mirda Rock has barely been touched since. Imagine the fun Ezale & DJ Fresh could have if they freaked it.

True story: the only time Rap needed to exist on 7" single was the 1980s. Not only was it a handy format to snip certain early 80s songs down to a more listenable length, it was also a more affordable format for kids like me who discovered Rap in the mid 80s via chart hits like Run D.M.C's King Of Rock and Doug & Rick's The Show. The 7" single retailed at somewhere between 99p and £1.99, so it was the perfect format for 80s pre-teens who had to juggle our pocket money to accommodate Action Force figures and comics, sessions of Wonder Boy and Double Dragon in the local arcade, and singles like Whistle's Just Buggin' (Nothing Serious), Lovebug Starski's Amityville (House On The Hill), Run-D.M.C's Walk This Way, and the Beastie Boys' Fight For Your Right (To Party).

But then the cassette-single became the format de jour of the same pricepoint, the 7" single was quietly phased out for Rap music, and nobody gave a shit until the 2010s when boutique rare vinylz labels started reissuing 1990s Rap songs as overpriced 7"s for OCD middle-aged blokes who stopped listening to new music some time between 1997 and 2003. And so a whole pointless new cottage industry opened up, propelled by blokes who'd be stamp collecters if Rap music never existed.

My Alphabets

INXS - Need You Tonight
(From Kick album; 1987)


My m8 Tomo is a Prince mega-fan and recently edutained me with an interesting anecdote about two of the best pop singles of the 1980s. The story goes that Prince was simultaneously hugely impressed and hugely infuriated by INXS' Need You Tonight: hugely impressed by it as a song because he was already an INXS fan after What You Need blew up in America a couple of years earlier, but hugely infuriated by someone else having a massive hit which was drenched in his own DNA. So he decided to rework an acoustic demo of his into something which was, essentially, Need You Tonight with an even bigger boner. Hey presto - Prince's last great single of the '80s was born.

Prince - Alphabet St. (single version)
(From Lovesexy album; 1988)


Of course, whether Alphabet St. is a better song than Need You Tonight is entirely subjective innit. But what isn't up for debate is that Alphabet St. trumps Need You Tonight in Prince's mission statement of sheer Big Boner Energy™. Job's a good 'un - the best example of Prince living up to his The Purple One nickname or wot?

While this anecdote isn't quite Prince's equivalent of James Brown's Hot (I Need To Be Loved, Loved, Loved) swaggerjacking David Bowie's Fame, both instances prove that colonial cracka artists can occasionally spur black 'Murican artists to greater heights. Game recognise game, bro's do too. Pour out a little liquor for all the lost lads.

Ring Ring Ring (Ha Ha Hey)

"Wasn't exaggerating at all sayin' I'm heartless
Before my album hit the charts I was just hittin' targets"

A-Wax - Streets Callin'
(From the upcoming Woodie World album; 2022)


... and speaking of beatjacks, how very apt that A-Wax remaking Woodie's The Streets Are Callin' Me has got me interested in 'Wax's new music. As soon as Suge hear this here, he gon' know it, man - the vibe is here to bring the real A-Wax back. He's doing a full Woodie homage album so there's a very real possibility we may get A-Wax over the cheap Cruel Summer facsimile of Norte Sidin'.

Bananarama - Cruel Summer
(From High Life album; 1983)


Yo KanYe Pest, I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but Bananarama had the best Cruel Summer of all time etc etc. From London to Los Angeles, please believe Brooklyn was in the house too.