Thursday, 8 January 2015

R.I.P Cool C

It's gon' be 10000 State Property members at your funeral... when you die of natural causes in 36 years time because you keep getting granted new stays of execution every decade.

Let the legacy you leave behind be one of shamelessness: coming out dissing MC Shan on your debut single whilst sounding & rapping exactly like MC Shan; shooting a female police officer with two children in the face during a bungled bank robbery and then protesting your innocence to the day of your death by denying you were even there despite the contrasting CCTV footage, multiple eyewitnesses, & forensic evidence.

Let all my rap bloggers bow their heads with embarrassment that we all still bump Juice Crew Dis and Down To The Gristle to this very day regardless.

Cool C - Down To The Gristle
(From Down To The Gristle 12"; 1988/I Gotta Habit album; 1989)


Obviously this post is to be taken facetiously because everybody knows Cool C is innocent - police officer Lauretha Vaird was a stuntwoman who is still alive and now lives in rural Montana, and the CCTV footage was filmed by Jerry Bruckheimer & Michael Bay on the same secrete studio set where Stanley Kubrick staged the fake moon landings a couple of decades earlier. True stories, truss.

4 comments:

THE GUY said...

COOL C JUST A PATSY?

Dan said...

Solid reasoning

Anonymous said...

"Glamorous Life" is good too.

James said...

I thought Juice Crew Dis was the only song he made.

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