Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Generic list post: UK rap is the Devil's work except for these songs

Andy Cole ft. Pied Piper - Outstanding
(From Outstanding single; 1999)


Someone recently popped up in my comments to ask what my favourite UK rap songs are. Bearing in mind that I view all forms of rap music from these isles with the same conflicted sense of awed pity that the average person probably feels when watching the Paralympic Games on TV, this is the best I can muster up as top 15 list of songs which feature UK ppl doing something that could be construed as rapping on them:

1. Giggs - Monsta Man (2011)
2. Roland Rat Superstar ft. Kevin The Gerbil - Rat Rapping (1983)
3. Wiley - Jack's Not Nimble (2006)
4. London Posse - Gangster Chronicle (1990)
5. Gemini - Me N Da Girls (2007)
6. Silver Bullet - 20 Seconds To Comply (1990)
7. Jammer ft. Wiley, D Double E, Kano & Durrty Goodz - Destruction V.I.P (2004)
8. Dizzee Rascal - Off To Work (2005)
9. Rodney P - Big Tings We Inna (2001)
10. Sway - Baby Father (2007)
11. Skepta - Rolex Sweep (2008)
12. Cookie Crew - Got To Keep On (1989)
13. So Solid Crew - Dilemma (2000)
14. Oxide & Neutrino ft. various So Solid weed carriers - Rap Dis (2001)
15. Spiral from Big Brother 7 - Finglas (2006)

Footnotes: also quite like 3 Fekky singles; had to disqualify Monie Love for being a proto-Cat Deeley seppo sell-out; the music of Skinnyman is only useful as tragic comedy; would rather drink the foot sweat from a pair of Skinnyman's pleather Air Force 1's than ever sit through a Blade song; would rather sit through Blade's entire catalogue than ever listen to a rap song made by a citizen of Nottingham or Bristol; 90% of Grime is unlistenable bollocks, though a vast portion of the writing about it is a prime source of unintentional LOLz, particularly anything penned by John Doran or Tim Jonze.

38 comments:

hotbox said...

I was thinking about doing something similar with Canadian rap but all I could come up with is Main Source and Maestro Fresh Wes songs.

Si Mane Price said...

Wat no Swollen Members?

yeldarb said...

don't forget "pass and move" by the boot room boyz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9Bl4gLsfMY

Si Mane Price said...

Liverpool going on to be a club of racist cunts like Gerrard, Carragher, Suarez + Dalglish since then has at least spared us from anymore LFC novelty rap songs I suppose.

Skrtl definitely looks like the type of bloke who does impressions of the Vietcong soldiers from The Deer Hunter when he's up in Chinatown.

yeldarb said...

hyypia was the type who'd wash his hands thoroughly after taking a trip to st john's market.

Finglas' finesse is marshaled in service of a fanatically doomy and monolithic mood, Gothic in the original barbarian invader meaning said...

You forgot Dialed blud

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcIommZjMSE

Money Mad deserves Gangster Chronicles spot if only for it being Westwoods "production" debut

Fulci said...

Big fan of that other Rodney P song which was also from 2001 (iirc), Murderer Style. Got the vinyl and everything.

Also, Skinnyman always reminded me of Albert Steptoe.

2SHIN said...

half these tunes are grime m8

trust a dirty manc to claim he doesn't like grime but put 50% grime tunes in a list for UK rap

gonna call the GRIME IS NOT RAP police on you tbh

Doctor Whogivesashit said...

Methinks the lazy protesteth too much with that overchubbing of the waters. With this clickbait you're the Katie Hopkins of rap bloggers. THE best rap album to come out the British Isles EVER is this = https://sfdb.bandcamp.com/album/music-from-the-ditch

Si Mane Price said...

Ahem, 2$hin:

top 15 list of songs which feature UK ppl doing something that could be construed as rapping on them:

Those songs I listed here are the only good Grime songs, but a 90% shitness rate is better than UK rap's 98% shitness ratio.

Blade killed my father and raped my mother said...

The worst track on https://deadresidents.bandcamp.com

is better than EVERYTHING in this generic list.

I second Money Mad and would add Hijack's Daddy Rich and anything off of Gunshot's 3rd International Rescue album.

Shapey Fiend said...

Lee Scott is the only one I really bother listening to.

Si Mane Price said...

Donal + Shapey - why was I not informed that Spiral is now making Scouse House choonz?

rym snitch said...

im not havin this, grime is class you bloody slag. the best grime is found in sets, its not a singles or albums/mixtapes genre

everyone knows uk hip hop is the real embarrassment





Si Mane Price said...

No shit UKHH is the real embarrassment, but trying to act like Grime is that much more noble + credible a genre than UKHH is LOL, especially when you admit that most of its artists can't make any good songs to save their lives.

Face it - Roll Deep are just a less earnest version of Task Force in slightly more expensive clothes.

Ben Jones said...

What about those guys that rap like das efx lol

Anonymous said...

I admitted nothing of the sort! Releasing singles/albums just wasn't the focus. a lot of the early singles are instrumentals released for playing in sets anyway, which was clearly the focus of the scene in its heyday. And a lot of artists just didn't capitalise or weren't backed when they should've been, perhaps decent rappers like trim would've had a couple of decent albums by now if he had been.

There's a handful of great grime singles imo and the likes of Rolex Sweep don't even come close, not even the best Skepta single...

I can c u was a big tune blatant said...

No Crazy Titch on this list is the biggest travesty here IMO.

Freddie Starr Foundation said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGZaWHFL1x0

Si Mane Price said...

SMH, Spiral has just dropped the best House banger since K-Klass' remix of Holly Valance's Naughty Girl and all you guys wanna talk about is frigging Grime.

Re: Rolex Sweep. Any song with a dance is automatically the best song in that artist's catalogue, FYI.

Lost Art said...

"Scouse Ebonics" is the GOAT UK tune

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v5v6BdeaDQ

d said...

Dunno whats the best part of the Spiral video, politicking in the Dublin Equivalent of Times Square or idk Piccadilly Circus, hearing him speak/still maintaining his aura or the clubs only being slightly less half empty than in the other videos

Si Mane Price said...

Not since Them released Baby Please Don't Go, Gloria and Mystic Eyes in the '60s has an Irish artist recorded 3 songs as good as Finglas, So Sexy and this House banger.

2SHIN said...

if we're talking *anything* that could be construed as rapping then where the fuck is this classic?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vgxfRMJt44

smh. you're starting to slip marty.

Si Mane Price said...

Need a Gurl U Trippin' UKG classix compilation.

Shapey Fiend said...

Cos I'm too lazy to make a best of Irish hip hop list:

http://napoleancomplexjakarta.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/im-going-to-take-the-high-road-and-not-make-a-ub40-reference/

David said...

Grime is rap music, anyone saying otherwise is lying to themselves and god

also looking fwd to a Canadian version of this list but only if it includes Solitair: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6VoygloCOo

Color Changin' Click Clegg said...

Grime is rap x garage. Or was, anyway.

You not a fan of Trim Taliban?

Si Mane Price said...

Enough talk of Grime, more talk of Irish Big Brother contestants.

admiral said...

Can't forget The Avenue by Roll Deep

admiral said...

"Feelin' sharp pains in my left tit" = socially conscious reminder for the lads to make sure they check themselves for lumps that aren't supposed to be there

$tacey Dool£y said...

For a rap blogger, you sure do spend a lot of time doing rap down or trying not to talk about it at all. How queer.

Zara said...

Hazel getting Daley kicked out >

Si Mane Price said...

Sallie Axl was so misunderstood in that series.

2SHIN said...

smh grime is mainly garage x toasting via jungle bbz

ppl not from london need to stop having opinions on grime tbh

might drop a ukg post but i'll probably just end up zipping up a folder containing 12 copies of sexy cinderella in 320

CrowleyHead said...

So, beyond Giggs, how much Road Rap have you actually suffered? j/c. Leaving my abstract grime return colonialism out of this...

After saying that Roll Deep are the Wu-Tang of grime, in the way that it consists of 3 MCs and a shit ton of weed carriers.

SD said...

That Spiral house song is pretty good hah

alexm said...

is grime what the english call the embarrassing hip hop songs they used to like when they were kids?

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