To remind yourself just how soft the clean/video version of Cube's Steady Mobbin' is :
Ice Cube - Steady Mobbin'
Tray recently remarked that he prefers the clean version of Captain Save-A-Hoe by E-40 & The Click (cunningly retitled Captain Save Them Thoe) and I'm a defender of the clean version of U Understand? by Juvenile myself, due to the new words just sounding a more natural fit and because all the N-bombs have been replaced by whoadies and dem boyz so I can get carried away and quietly rap the song to myself as I listen to it on my headphones whilst taking a piss in the work bathroom without offending one of the black lads at the company.
Everybody has their own personal favourite Ice Cube singles, but if Steady Mobbin' isn't in your top 3 then you're either tone-deaf or you must have gotten an incredible blowjob to We Be Clubbin' once and you now love it for sentimental reasons. The problem with the clean version of Steady Mobbin' isn't so much the redone lyrics which fuck up the flow of the song, though they undoubtedly do, but the delivery itself which pretty much strips it of what makes it so great. I think we can all agree that from '87 to '92 Ice Cube as a rapper had THAT certain something which made him the hardest rapper out, yet here he sounds like Talib Kweli: a cojones-less sap reading from autocue in the exact same milquetoast voice the 2nd pudwhapper in Heathers uses when he timidly tells Kurt and Ram to leave his buddy pudwhapper # 1 alone as they physically abuse him and instruct him to admit that he likes to suck big cocks :
"Leave....him....a-lone, Ram!"
What really sticks in my craw here, though, is that the 12" of Steady Mobbin' only includes the clean version, and I still haven't gotten around to picking up that double LP pressing of Death Certificate, so I've never had the chance to play Steady Mobbin' out when I've djed. It's the abyss which burns deep within my soul; i feel so incomplete.
6 comments:
Fuuuuck...
I haven't heard this version in a while. I had to stop after the "I hate a snitch" line. The edit of the video at that point is just as bad as the vocals.
I hate re-recorded lyrics. Especially because we're so used to the original performance. Edit the curse words and keep that shit moving.
lolz at the Talib Kweli reference. Also your ability to link hip hop to classic film is second to none
Winona - nappy dugout etc...
Yet he still says "hoes" and talks about dropping a load in the bathroom. And no "it came out sort of like confetti!"
I'm bringing pudwhapper back.
You're not living right unless you call someone a pudwhapper at least once a day.
All this lurking round public bathrooms sounds suspiciously like cottaging to me.
Waitin for the "black lads" at work to use you like the filling in an oreo?
None of them really do it for, I'm afraid.
I usually drink a glass of green tea for breakfast and the contents of 2 litre bottle of water by 1 so i'm pissing at least once an hour all morning and afternoon.
Frequent toilet trips work as a handy time-killer in work too.
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