Monday, 3 May 2010

Lil B - the Criterion Collection


This fool used to be the rawest in the pack but now i heard he hella does heroin? and meth, his new shits different...

I know I'm not the only one ecstatic with the news that Lil B is going to be using the CocaineBlunts comment section as a "secrete portal" to communicate with us mortals from now on, but I'm feeling particularly jubilant right now as this is my oppurtnity to introduce the Based God to the charms of Aguirre, The Wrath Of God and possibly get him to indulge in my Aguirre-inspired A&R fantasies. I mean, shit, it only seems right since both Klaus Kinski and Lil B are both fond of comparing themselves to that Jesus fella. Originally I just wanted Lil B to rhyme over the soundtrack and bespeckle Kinski's most famous quotables from the movie with his own adlibs ("I am the wrath of God...BASED GOD, BITCH, SUCK MY DICK!"), but now I'm thinking we may as well not half step with this one, which means kitting B out in the full Don Lope de Aguirre outfit, videos of him on rafts talking to toy monkeys or riding horses which are clad in Rey Mysterio Jr masks, and a conceptual opera to explore his Princess persona where he dresses up in drag to play Don Lope's daughter Florés.

I don't have the patience for rappers with the flooding ethos of dropping 3 mixtapes in a single day or a mixtape every week, but Lil B's spurt-and-squirt approach of releasing a few viral video-singles a week and an official mixtape album every few months is a technique which I can ride shotgun with since the video-single is pretty much the perfect format for rap in 2010 and because it satiates my need for new music without overwhelming me with constant 22 track mixtapes I have to slog my way through to pinpoint the 6 good songs and the 1 truly amazing song which always seems to be the worst quality mp3 on the whole tape. Of course, a tireless modus-operandi to releasing music like Lil B's yields a fair amount of crap, but at least it's entertaining crap where you can go "LOLwhut - Lil B's wearing a Dappy hat, rhyming about looking like Queen Elizabeth and doing that funny jiggle with his arms pushed out in front of his chest which he does whenever he's indicating that he's rhyming about sex" (*bear in mind this post was written pre-cooking dance*) in a video for a song which is otherwise fairly unlistenable.

Because it's hilarious that Lil B has released more videos in around 9 months than every other rapper from the Bay combined have amassed in over 2 decades, because my mild-OCD often manifests itself in the form of list-making, and because this shit is bound to get me a few extra hits here's every video single that Lil B has made to date. This post will be an easily referenced, constantly updated compendium because by the time I finish typing this sentence Lil B is bound to have at least 2 new videos on I originally tried to get this as chronologically correct as possible, but there are so many I doubt even Lil B himself can remember the exact order in which they dropped at this point.

If you're unfamiliar with the works of lilliputian Brandon then Good Morning, The Bible, Like A Martian, Myspace, Look Like Jesus, Real Shit From A Real N*gga, We Can Go Down, Respect My Mind, Aug 17th, Chasing The Rain, B.O.R, Secrets Part 1, Age Of Information, Cocaine, Situations, Wonton Soup, The Trap, Cold War and Violate That Bitch are the ones I'd check first. You ready?

Lil B - Crown Me King

Lil B - Am I Even A Rapper Anymore?

Lil B - Aug 17th

Lil B - Street Dreams

Lil B - I'm God

Lil B - Pullin' Allnighters

Lil B - Respect My Mind

Lil B - Rawest Rapper Alive

Lil B - Sleep Forever

Lil B - The Bible

Lil B - Working For The Light

Lil B - Myspace

Lil B - Dangerous Minds

Lil B - Good Morning

Lil B - Like A Martian

Lil B - Voices Carey

Lil B - Here We Are

Lil B - D.O.R (Death Of Rap)

Lil B - B.O.R (Birth Of Rap)

Lil B - Finna Hit A Lick

Lil B - Real Plexx

Lil B - I'm The Devil

Lil B - Hartbreak

Lil B - Insane

Lil B - Huned Million

Lil B - We Can Go Down

Lil B - Really Waterfront

Lil B - Pretty Boy

Lil B - The Movie

Lil B - XXL Freshman 2010

Lil B - Sending Shots

Lil B - The World's Ending

Lil B - Look Like Jesus

Lil B - Robbers Anthem

Lil B - Real Shit From A Real N*gga

Lil B - Die For Me

Lil B - Cocaine Blunts (The Dedication)

Lil B - Ima Faggot, Ima Lesbian

Lil B - Rich Bitch

Lil B - My Mom

Lil B - Realist Alive

Lil B - I Am Legend

Lil B - Todays Weather

Lil B - Suck My Dick, Ho

Lil B - I Am The Hood

Lil B - Up Next

Lil B - Can You Stand The Rain?

Lil B - I Don't Want Shit

Lil B - Pretty Bitch

Lil B - Remember The Name

Lil B - Age Of Information

Lil B - R.I.P Swag

Lil B - Swag On My Dick

Lil B - See Me In 3D

Lil B ft. Pimp C, C-Murder & B.G - Cocaine

Lil B - Free Lil B

Lil B - Like A Martian remix

Lil B - Violate That Bitch

Lil B - Thank You Based God

Lil B - Times Blue

Lil B - Situations

Lil B - Real Life

Lil B - Chasing The Rain

Lil B - Secrets Part 1

Lil B - It's Alright remix

Lil B - Shoot A Gun

Lil B - The Pretty Bitch Is Back

Lil B - That's Right

Lil B - We Are The World

Lil B - Walk The World

Lil B - Based Robot remix

Lil B - Pretty Boy remix

Lil B - Wonton Soup

Lil B - Free Lil' Wayne

Lil B - I'm Burning

Lil B - The Trap

Lil B - Cold War

Lil B - We From Da Bay

Lil B - I Am

Lil B - The Old Days

Lil B - See Me On 16

Lil B - BasedGod Part 1

Lil B - We From Da Bay

Lil B - Pull Ya Pants Up

Lil B - Bangkadang

Lil B - Smokin' Young Blunts

Lil B - Freedom

Lil B - Criminal Mind

Lil B - Ellen Degenerates

Lil B - Blue Flame

Lil B - I Win

Bonus related Youtube action :

Werner Herzog reads Where's Waldo?


Tropical Doves said...

this is Lil B
this is great

Where said...

love this, great read. Videos aren't in order but still I get the point LOL. I've been listening to lil b for a while now and I have to say it's only made me respect him as a artist with the crazy amount of videos and "based" freestyles he releases. Only thing is I don't think he does meth and heroin.... Or at least I hope he doesn't LOL.

MF said...

ZOMG, Lil B replied to my blog.

Yo, B - let's make Aguirre, The Wrath Of Based God happen.

James said...

I want Lil' B's SEX 69 vest.

Anonymous said...

"Aguirre, The Wrath Of Based God" this had me rolling for a good 5 mins. another great post on an underrated blog. please keep it up man. love this spot.

MF said...

^^ Swear down this wasn't me posting under an anonymous account to give props to myself.

Boothe said...

epic post

B D said...

Holy shit. I'm not gonna vote or go to uni tomorrow, I'll be spending my day going through this post and watching all these videos.

mitchell said...

this is amazing. i found it via lil b's twitter, had never seen your blog before but im def gonna check it regularly now