Why duz rapperz call weed "loud" lol

Smokin' On That Loud by Drumma Boy with 8Ball & MJG came and went without so much as a Duncan Cooper or Sam Hockney-Smith reblog on The Fader when the weather was still damp and grey earlier this year, but I've pro'lly listened to it more than anything on the last 8Ball mixtape so let's see if it makes a little more sense to all y'all now that the weather's, um, windy and grey with occasional outbreaks of sun.

Drumma Boy ft. 8Ball & MJG - Smokin' On That Loud
(From some Drumma Boy mixtape I assume?; 2012)


Personally, I'll take this over any of the similar efforts Curren$y or Wiz have dropped in the past couple of years, especially since the producer Kacey Khaliel gets far more out of that Voyage To Atlantis sample than Cardo did on Mesmerized. This whole sound is what Driz' Markie likes to call Yacht-Rap, but Smokin' On That Loud is a tad more intimate and exotic than that so I think it qualifies as a Bubble Bath-Rap classic alongside Camp Lo's Material, Porno Muzik by Max B and, of course, DJ Quik's entire rhythm-al-ism CD.

It's a total fallacy that smoking weed has ever sounded as kewl and sexy as songs like Smokin' On That Loud, though, since it's a filthy past time for braindead troglodytes which can be neatly summed up by this song by deplorable cracka-ass-cracka Reggae band Tribal Seeds.

Is there anything more depressing than the major label Rap remix in 2012?

A better question would be, has there been a single great major label Rap remix since 2007 gave us a triumvirate of classics in the Wipe Me Down remix, the Pop, Lock And Drop It remix, and the Can't Tell Me Nothing ROC remix where Beanie and Freeway humiliatingly tucked into some serious humble pie just to get a little track-time with KanYe?

There's been a few dope indie personal faves in the years since like the the Polo remix, the Moon And Stars remix, the Man Up Band Up Remix and the Buck Nah remix, as well as some appalling indie ones like this Twitter-baiting bag of shite, but I'm drawing a blank on any major label ones from the past four years which aren't just back-scratching excuses in cutting cheques for Fabolous, Red Cafe, Swizz Beats, Snoop, Busta, Diddy, Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross, KanYe, 2 Chainz and various YMCMB/G.O.O.D. Music/MMG flunkies.

Any suggestions? Only song I can think of is the All White Everything remix, which most of all y'all would probably disqualify anyway since the only difference between the original and the remix is the appearance of a mercenary like Yo Gotti and it didn't even end up making the last Jeezy album.

I thought Jordans and links through from The Wire magazine was livin' it up

Off to see the Rapper who Kelis done fleeced tonight with Prince from Queens, Fritz from Harlem, and Seymour from Rochdale. I'd leave a happy man if he were to start with a medley of his verses from Live At The BBQ, Eye For An Eye, Verbal Intercourse, It's Mine and Show Discipline before launching into all the obvious Illmatic/It Was Written/noughties Salaam Remi single classics, but what my heart truly yearns for is to see him throw on a stetson, bring out AZ and then treat us to a rendition of Phone Tap that's eerily similar to this late 90s live performance from, um, some TV show that I'm unfamiliar with :


(And it really would be eerie since Half-A-Mill couldn't attend now he's, y'know, dead.)
Knowing Nas, none of that will happen and his set list will probably consist of 90% material culled from Hip Hop Is Dead, Untitled, his awful cod-Reggae Distant Relatives album with Ali Campbell from UB40's son and whatever his forthcoming long player is called, before he wheezes thorough an encore of his shitty recent single with the Supercat sample which sounds like two different songs playing in unison on a MySpace page in 2006. Ayo Nas - at least let me up on stage during Street Dreams to do the "word is bond, son, I had that bitch down on my shit like DIS!" ad lib, eh?

Reasons why I love Youtube # 27

Two absolute humdingers from the vaults of one Don Cornelius esquire today. First up we have the elaborate stage musical performance of All About The Benjamins by Puffy, The Lox & Lil' Kim at the 1998 Soul Train awards. If, like me, you occasionally find yourself wondering what a Bad Boy revue in Vegas would look like then here's a 2D approximation of our fantasy, complete with the requisite dance-breakdown where Puffy flaps about with all the rhythm of a toddler who has fire-ants in his slippers :


And then we have Elton John belting out Bennie And The Jets on Soul Train in 1975 whilst dressed as the eponymous evil hobgoblin from the Leprechaun movie franchise. Apparently Elton Da Sensei beat David Bowie by a few months to be crowned the first saltine to ever appear on t'train, and the clip is relevant to this blog's interests since Bennie And The Jets would later go on to be covered by Biz Markie and Mi Uzi Weighs An Elton pushes keys like ______ (<~~ insert generic Clipse punchline about tinkling the ivories here) :

Cobraswag & The Martorialist - #1 in your top 2

Nyquil gon' make me a star, I'ma make him a million, together we invadin' the building with a mix which'll take you on a 45 minute musical odyssey no man is safe from. It's all here : Louisiana Rap singles, Egyptian Lover ballads, 80s pop staples by Blancmange and INXS, slept on Mac Dre cuts with Dubee, 80s Chicago House classics by Maurice Joshua and Phuture, Danny Brown's dalliance with Swag-Rap, secrete bonus songs from deluxe Depeche Mode box set bootlegs, Carl Craig alias projects and a bunch of other certified jams we deemed appropriate for inclusion.


~~> Cobraswag & The Martorialist present : We're In Your Mix <~~
(A mix by Nyquil & Blogota Rich)



1. Webbie - Wipe Me Down remix (Intro)
2. Maurice Joshua - I Gotta Big Dick
3. Clams Casino - Track 13
4. Depeche Mode - Ghost In Your House
5. Mac Dre & Dubee - Westwayz
6. Mac Dre & Dubee - Hands For Holding Grands
7. Phuture - Your Only Friend
8. Paperclip People - Oscillator
9. Mc Eiht - N*ggaz Make The World Go Around (DJ Screw mix)
10. Fam-Lay ft. Project Pat - Money Makin' Trick
11. Egyptian Lover - I Cry
12. Rebolledo - Aire Caliente
13. DJ Jimi - Where They At?
14. Blancmange - Living On The Ceiling
15. Inxs - Never Tear Us Apart
16. Danny Brown - Lincoln Continental
17. Ed Banger - Greel
18. LFO - We Are Back
19. Mouse On Tha Track ft. Lil' Trill, Foxx, Lil' Phat & Webbie - Turn The Beat Up
Me, I've got the mixing skillz of a dead jellyfish or Eric Barrier with mittens on, so Nyquil handled that side of things and added such brilliant flourishes as the Matthew Africa vocal sample at 40:01. Together we dedicate this mix to the gumbo cookers, the Bourbon Street hookers, the aluminum can pickers, the drug dealer ass-kissers, the pork chop eaters, the CYC dick beaters, the bet'cha I could beat'chas, and all the holy Cobraswag and Martorialist readers.

Hey, you can listen to it on Soundcloud now too :

Katie Got Jamz

Facts on stone : with her latest classic Hittaz Only Katie Got Bandz has now dropped more bangers this year than there are on the 2nd Nicki Minaj album, yet therm-ass bloggaz and opp-ass critics still prefer to write about the less talented Ms. Minaj just because she affords them the opportunity to pen pompous think-pieces about how a chick Rapping from the perspective of a Euro gay dude called Roman in a zany Pepé Le Pew accent is shattering homophobic prejudices that've existed in Rap since Grandmaster Caz rhymed "faggot" with "maggot" on that 1979 Coldcrush live 'tape :

"So I'm strapped like a dyke bitch
Big 30s and we shoot, we don't fight, bitch
Hittaz turn me on like a light switch
You a opp, that's that shit I don't like, bitch"

Katie Got Bandz - Hittaz Only
(From Bandz And Hittaz mixtape; 2012)


Here's the dilly, yo : if I Need A Hitta was Katie's game-changing My Melody joint which obliterated all former generations of chick Rappers in one fell swoop, Hittaz Only here is Katie's As The Rhyme Goes On joint where she really flaunts her flow and lyrical chops, with the bit where she tells her engineer Rich to "wait, man..I got gum in mah mouth...tweakin'" possibly even paralleling the opening conversation between Eric B and Rakim on Paid In Full in terms of historic Rap record ad libbing.

Just sayin', bruv # 3.5

I'll honestly take Nino by Young Giftz & Tree over anything on Tree's critically acclaimed, internet-sexy and really good Sunday School mixtape. Now Nino has been blessed with a video I can kill two birds with one post by finally sharing this unpopular opinion with you and then reminding you that Giftz was also responsible for the masterpiece that is Meet Da Dealer :

Young Giftz ft. Tree - Nino
(From The Lake Effect 1.5: The Re-Rock mixtape; 2012)


Rap video paradox # 45679, 00001 : Tree saying "whip so sick I don't need no chain" during the hook at 0:19 - 0:22 as he stands there Rapping into the camera wearing a dookie gold ropechain.

Red or Ted

Rappers have been really lettin' ya boy Blogota Rich down with their videos this month, mang - a few weeks back King Louie filmed a loosely Bonnie & Clyde-themed clip for Bars with some random 'hoodrat as his patna in crime instead of Katie Got Bandz, and today sees A-Mafia release a promo for the 2011 fan-favourite Ted Dibiase with nary a visual reference to its namesake. Here was me hoping the video might reverse the Ted and Virgil racial dynamic and feature a Tuxedo-ed up 'Mafia stunting around Harlem flanked by a subservient pecKKKerwood in a dickie-bow who gives impromptu foot massages. Oh well, he does get his Iron Sheik on in the video, and the song is still the hardest shit since MC Ren as well as the perfect antidote to the mundanity of Joey Bada$$; does N.Y really need its own Stalley?

A-Mafia - Ted Dibiase
(From What The Streets Made Me mixtape; 2011)


Also wanna take this opportunity to admit that I was talkin' outta my ass about 'Mafia's Under The Scope mixtape being a near-complete disaster other than Road To The Riches and the Real Live Pro remix. It isn't a good 'tape by any stretch of the imagination, but along with the two aforementioned 'Mafia classics it also has the baronial Crime Pays and the Auto-Tuned guilty pleasure of Who Can I Run To? to its credit :

A-Mafia - Crime Pays
(From Under The Scope mixtape; 2012)



A-Mafia ft. Herb McGruff - Who Can I Run To?
(From Under The Scope mixtape; 2012)