Painful as this is to admit, there are now two legitimate joints to have (sorta) emerged from the Fadercore cesspit of Awful Records. The first is Lil' Wayne's freestyle over O.G Maco's U Guessed It, which is best experienced by pretending its a Weezy original over another one of those primitive Soulja Boy beats a la Wowzers. The second is this Pilates (Kendall, Kylie, Miley) song by some Brooklyn bird called DonMonique, with the video that was shot at an Awful Records party in N.Y full of teenagers with pierced noses.
It'll probably transpire that DonMonique is the pet project of the Pitchfork Reviews Reviews Tumblr guy or some equally toxic New York media incubus (no Das Racist's manager), nonetheless this song slaps in much the same barely-there way that Pussy by Lady slapped, and if the stench of New York industry nepotism around it becomes overwhelming then you can easily Fabreeze that shit by just pretending it's a New Era comeback record instead.
Don't thank me, thank my blogga there Hot Box who zipped that When Boosie Was Gone generic list post of mine up into a compilation. If you missed the post, its premise was songs by TRILL ENT artists which were released when Boosie was doing porridge, which basically translate to a shitload of jams by Webbie, Foxx, Mouse On Tha Track, Lil' Phat, and Lil' Trill & Shell. Sod the British Bulldog & Owen Hart, the Martorialist & Hot Box is the greatest Anglo-Canadian union since that British golden retriever starred alongside Corey Haim in Watchers.
Things done changed - rap went from Mr Magic to Mr Serv-On to Mr Me Too to Mr Porter. Gonna need a fan made video of this set to pix of those ponces from Pitti for it to truly become the viral anthem it's 'pposed to be.
"I'm a Classic Man
You can be mean when you look this clean
I'm a Classic Man
Callin' on me like a young O.G
I'm a Classic Man
Your needs gettin' met by the street elegant ol' fashioned man
Yeah baby, I'm a Classic Man"
Jidenna ft. Roman GianArthur - Classic Man
(From Classic Man single; 2015)
Apropos of that new Boosie song here's a list of legitimate jams by other TRILL ENT artists which were released during the years when Boosie was in the bing. Pimp C made it a hot line, Mel & Turk made it a hot label to launder their drug money by poaching Concentration Camp's hottest artist when C-Loc got locked up, then the rest of the TRILL roster made hot music to compensate for their marquee artist being in prison even if Mel & Turk stuffed up by not releasing a lot of it for retail and letting Mouse On Tha Track out of his contract.
Did think the recent Swag-Rap renaissance might have hit the skids after founding father of Swag-Rap J.Money's latest mixtape sounded like an exercise in pinning the tail on every generic Atlanta trap rapper from the past 3 years. Then YouTube recommended me this new single by the guy behind This And That and it was like Fast Life Yungstaz were reborn for 2015, but with less Ralph Lauren and more edumacational lyrics:
"I've been workin' like Harriet Tubman
Nappy headed just like Frederick Douglass
But I'm swagged like a house slave
In the shade drinkin' lemonade"
Mr.2-17 - #Dabbin'
(From YouTube; 2015)
Definitely the best video YouTube has recommended me so far this week. The worst? This:
Lil' Chris - Checkin' It Out
(From whatever his album was called; 2006)
Think about it, yo - exactly a week to the day after I put together a best of Lil' Chris compilation his namesake former Rock School contestant Lil' Chris is announced dead. Nowt personal, mate, but it's best you've gone back the essence because you kept making it difficult to search for Chicago Lil' Chris on YouTube, Spotify, and the Amazon MP3 store.
Bonus Dead Perez Gossip: first the Fat Boys break up, then Chippy Nonstop gets deported, now tuneless Noisey/Fader/his aspiring videographer manager's puppet Yung Gleesh has been arrested for raping someone at SXSW. Destiny is picking off the careers of any rapper ever associated with The Wavery like they're them unfortunate kids in the Final Destination movies.
Once upon a rhyme transatlantic rap collaborations between the U.S and the U.K meant A.G's studio scrap acapellas over Aim's lumpen Mancunian trip-hop or DJ Ivory trying to talk up his own P Brothers productions by claiming frigging Milano is a more talented than any rapper from outside the Tri-State. Fast forward to 2015 and we now have that The Purist producer bloke atoning for the sins of his forefathers by getting a listenable song out of post-XXXDanny Brown, doing TREE deep cuts, and recording a track with Roc Marciano that sounds like a legitimate Works Of Marc beat you could ride out to 'pon U.K road in a 1953 Eldorado convertible as long as you were willing to brave the perma-drizzle and fuck up your suspension on the combination of potholes & speedbumps.
"Range Ro', display the suede raincoat
Hop out the Rover like a stage coach
Like one of Jesse James folks"
The Purist ft. Roc Marciano - Patina
(From Soundcloud; 2015)
Behold today's Daily Mirror where a picture of Robin Thicke & T.I is billed as Robin Thicke & Pharrell Williams. Perhaps this is karma finally catching up with T.I since his "I'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two" lyric caused most of the controversy surrounding Blurred Lines in the first place? Ain't even matter, though, because Tip can keep eatin' off the song for the rest of his life whilst Thicke & Pharrell gotta dig deep in their pockets to feed Marvin Gaye's talentless bum kids for the rest of their lives.
Maybe if Lil' Skateboard P & Alan Thicke's son had ever made an album as good as Trap Muzik karma would Be Easy on them too?
