Windows down bumpin' Barry White, in the trunk is where I bury white

French ft. Shiest Bubz - Gettin' Money Over Here
(From Cocaine City 2 Purple City DVD; 2006)


Before he adopted the Montana suffix and leeched onto Max B, French Montana was just French, the generic coke-rapper who was known for resembling a lesbian Psycho Les and peddling a series of street DVDs called Cocaine City, which were the missing link between Smack DVD and VladTV. I've lamented the death of the street DVD before because rappers fighting on Twitter just isn't anywhere near as fun as them sonnin' each other and posing with each other's stolen chains on video, so I figure 2013 is the year I should put my money where my mouth is and make an effort to track down all 14 editions of Cocaine City since I only own volume 2 and volume 10 currently.

Records, tapes, and CDs are for squares and amateurs - real Borks are out here huntin' down street DVDS nowadays. Holla atcha boy Talcum X right chea if you've got still-shrink wrapped copies of Cocaine City volume 1 and the Frost Bitten Uncut edition of Sub 0°, ya heard!

Martorial Elegance # 44

July 9th 2010.

Mark that date down in your diaries or on your calenders as they day that the Chambray shirt or jacket/Barry chinos or jeans/Brogues or Sperrys era of male fashion which has dominated both da streetz and internet fashion sites over the last 12 months or so took two to the dome from a killer who bellowed "YU'LL NE'ER TEK UUZ, ALEEVE, COPP-AH!!" and hastily retreated into rural woodland. All y'all off-trend motherfuckers were pronounced dead at the scene before the ambulance even arrived because from this day foward, if you're not sporting a mohawk, a skin-tight sleeveless orange muscle-shirt, black jeans, and white trainers like Newcastle's most famous redhead since Spuggy from Byker Grove then, please, just stay in the house where we don't have to see you and your dated clothing, you repulsive nugget of prarie dog shite.



All these hoes take my kids and tell the po-po I'm a brute
/got the spandex t-shirt the same color Tropicana orange juice
Yeeeeeaaaaah!!! - We clap or die, copper

You're probably rolling your eyes and thinking to yourself that the Fashion Po-leese should also take pursuit of Raoul for his soooo obvious and passe Travis Bickle mohawk, and we'd agree with you if we honestly thought some juiced-up ape from Newcastle who lost his marbles over a 'yatch (Money.Over.Bitches, son) had ever seen Taxi Driver in the first place. No, Raoul's mohawk works on the level that he imagines he looks like this :



Oblivious to the fact that he actually looks like this :



This would probably be a good oppurtunity to post something Cop Killer by Body Count or something by pig-blasting rappers like Cool C or Steady B (preferably Juice Crew Dis or Just Call Us Def), but I'd prefer to end today's post with Wet Wipes by Cam'Ron which simply featured his "no singer, b/sling Heavy D/ready-rock/kill-a-cop, Steady B" line instead.

Cam'Ron - Wet Wipes

Martorial elegance # 17

You have a Barry's pants, m'lord. I'll wager those shin skimming hems have never had to feel the jagged hardness of an ankle bone rubbin' against 'em on the rain sodden streets of Manchester.



You know how after This Is England came out you started to see emo kids suddenly dressin' like skinheads in bomber jackets and dockers? I'm thinkin' shorty here has taken it a step further and is going for the Oxfam flid chic Shaun has at the start of the film when when he's getting excoriated by all and sundry for his kecks on his way to school and in the playground.

Kudos to Killa Barratt for the snap. Some Too $hort would be wholly appropriate right about now.

Too $hort featuring MC Breed - Fuck My Car

Leaving Barry-Babylon.

Judging from recent pix of Nigo it seems that kecks which are too short revealing a good inch or two of leg/sock between your shoe and hem are now officially in vogue but my real gear-godz can spot a fashion-hack a mile off because The Martorialist keeps on makin' it, Blacon keeps on takin' it, Barry Davies created it and Japan keeps on fakin' it.



It's a look which has passed through the 60's with sharp-suited Mods to the 70's with Simon Cowell trousered trainspotter spods but it wasn't until the late 80's that this fashion-phenomenom received an actual official name : The Barry/Barry Pants (also see : Barry Kecks, Barries, Barried-up), with the term deriving from Barry Davies' not-quite-long-enough school pantaloons he wore to Blacon High throughout the duration of 1987 to 1992. So legendary were Barry's low-length leg covering garments they even had their own theme tune - Barry Trousers, sung to the tune of Baggy Trousers by Madness.



Fall back, Nigo. You can encase your lil' Jap legs in the finest selvedge the world has to offer and then hem and cuff them into position but you'll never have the natural effortless style and swagger that my man Barry Davies had. So fresh, so clean - y'nahmean?