Annual 2013 list of my post pitches that were so bad even Dan & Drew turned them down for the Rejected Ideas section over at Fat Lace.
I Sit Alone In My 4 Cornered Room Staring At Cankles - Scarface reveals he longer feels comfortable wearing shorts in public due to his rapidly thickening lower legs.
Just A Young 'Hood N*gga, Screech Raised Me - Future argues that Saved By The Bell was a better show than The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air.
M.O.B Dick - Jim Jones & Mel Matrix explain why they're the Rap Game Captain Ahab & Ishmael.
This Is Why I'm Shot - Mims uses a ouija board to speak to Lil' Phat's spirit in a bid to find out if he really was killed by some Ukrainian guido car dealer and Eldorado Red.
The Lyrics Born Ultimatum - in an exclusive interview, the azn bloke from Latryx reveals that he left the group because the blk bloke from Latryx wouldn't stop farting on their tour bus.
It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold His Cack - Dr Gillian McKeith teaches Bizarre from D12 how to turn those lead logs into flaky floaters.
Mouse On The Track - Lil' Mouse tests out whether Nike Flyknits are good for Track & Field events.
Street Nozzles Pointed At Ya Nostros - a Rap blogger dating series in which Andrew "Noz" Nosnitsky and Lauren Nostro go on a string of paintballing dates together.