Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Just sayin', bruv # 4

I made a blog, Google think I'm slangin' coca leafs - nobody questions Sam Hockley-Smith when he's all up in RSS feeds! Please believe the Just sayin', bruv series is back like arsecrack with 10 indisputable actual facts that aren't acts, they're unpopular opinions that've been proven indeed :

I'd gladly trade the combined careers of Souls Of Mischief, The Roots, The Fugees, Jeru The Damaja and Ras Kass for a single lost Reel To Reel-era Grand Puba song with Positive K over the main break from Eddie Bo's Hook & Sling.

If the Pitchfork People's Lists have taught us anything, it's that an awful lot of the people currently blogging and writing about Rap probably shouldn't be blogging and writing about Rap. There's rules, got codes and lines we obey : if you actively enjoy The Streets or Lily Allen then you should be barred from ever pontificating about Rap.

Katie Got Bandz and DJ Kenn being the only two genuinely talented people to emerge from Chicago's Drill scene is ample proof that AZNs will be the most dominant force in Rap music by 2015 and the predominate race in America by 2020.

Similarly, Brendan Soderberg's successful career in Rap journalism is a sure fire sign that, ultimately, America is a doomed nation.

N.O.R.E is the only currently active N.Y Rapper over the age of 35 who should still be allowed to make more than two songs per year from hereon in.

How ironic and sad is it that the greatest New York blogger ever is now trying to inflict all manner of terrible N.Y.C Rappers on the general public? How can Yams look himself in the mirror every morning knowing that he's responsible for A$AP Ferg's career?

Biz Markie's Big Daddy Kane-penned debut album Goin' Off being a stronger LP than BDK's own Long Live The Kane album is all the evidence we need that Biz was the true brains behind Kane's career.

And speaking of ghostwriters, Nas fanboys need to face up to the truth : MC Serch wrote 80% of Illmatic, Cormega wrote the vast majority of It Was Written, Foxy Brown wrote most of I Am, Nature wrote the few good bits on Nastradamus, Half-A-Mill wrote around 50% of Stillmatic, Lake wrote all the good songs on God's Son, Quan wrote 12 songs on Street's Disciple including Thief's Theme, and Kelis wrote every last lyric of Hip Hop Is Dead.

Lil B should've quit Rapping on a high in summer 2010 right after T-Shirts And Buddens ended Joe Buddens' career because even Noz can't co-sign his endless succession of godawful mixtapes any more.

RiFF RaFF should forget about a Rap career since he's never going to make another good song again and channel all his energies into talking Lil' Debbie and Kreashawyn into doing a Lesbian porno flick directed by Necro.

8 comments:

done said...

I read not one but two, Based God tapes reviewed favourably in
The Wire today. I was starting to think B had sprinkled some thetans in Noz's Ramen or something but Task Force was a mild return to form imo.

My campaign to have I Need A Hitta be Katie Taylor's entrance music at the Olympics wasnt successful, smdh Ireland.

V >>>Kreay

Andrew Gold said...

Who wrote "Life Is Good" then?

Richard Tre Mane said...

Peter Rosenberg and Ziggy Marley wrote that one.

sisilafami said...

task force was good. this is one of my favorite lil b song ever
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtfWQ5i7kds

Richard Tre Mane said...

I think I reached the point where I just don't need any more Lil B songs.

F3RG said...

SUCK MY DICK, FAGGOT

Fosterakahunter said...

Ferg responded to your comments about his awful rapping; Wow, I guess you've made it to Bol status now.

Thomas said...

Someone needs to remind rappers that they are supposed to act too cool to read/comment on music blogs...

I back the Task Force support, that's the first project from Based God that I've enjoyed this year. Also AZNs are definitely taking over everything, I am surrounded by them on a daily basis (via living in the Bay Area).

Sponsors