Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Greatest movie scenes ever # 42

Theoretically, the premise of an eyepatch wearing Tom Cruise out to kill Hitler sounds like Hollywood's most unintentionally funny comedy since, well, that flick where Tom Cruise donned a funny mask to attend an orgy and displayed zero on screen chemistry with his then-real life wife, but reality presented us a different story altogether since Valkyrie is about as enticing a movie to actually sit down and watch as Highlander 2 : The Quickening or the upcoming biopic about that dude behind the Pitchforkreviewsreviews Tumblr account.

To try and put this into some sort of perspective : after numerous re-shoots and untold controversies, Valkyrie cost $90 million to make, $60 million to market and ran 124 minutes in length, yet Tom still couldn't manage to complete a task that the Hendrix of the Ukelele game pulled off with panache over 68 years earlier when he opened up a can of whup ass on das Führer in his 1940 musicomedy Let George Do It :


#GeorgeKnows

Where can cinema possibly go after the Pitchforkreviewsreviews twerp biographical motion picture then? I've got my money on Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg teaming up for a movie about the Brandon Soderberg vs. David from SoManyShrimp beef.

5 comments:

done said...

Ha! Dunno how theyre gonna adapt the c-section debate where Soderberg started goin on about mailing Dallas comics for the screen though.

The public meltdowns ruined me enjoying Cruise in films anymore, bar his turn in Magnolia which now seems like a knowing parody. He even paid homage to the interview scene in irl once:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8q2NZZhlps

Pity it was in Magnolia though.

The Great Gats, B said...

But what about The Outsiders and Risky Business???????????

James said...

Not proud to admit this but I saw Valkyrie at the cinema.

The Great Gats, B said...

^^^ NelsonMuntzHaHa.JPG.

done said...

Yup, sorry to say. How'm I gonna suspend disbelief on fantastical prossie adventures when my dudes only playing a very slightly altered version of himself and hes a top 5 publicly pussy-whipped bitchmade trick?

Kweli-getting-slapped-by-a-girl-and-crying-at-50's-mansion-proportions, if Fortified Live, The Blast and Get By beat are above films and performance in shite crusty student staple.

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