Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Reasons why I love Youtube # 8

Because it confirms that the spirit of Chris Needham's legendary thrash band Manslaughter still has a pulse and now resides in Argentina under the banner of Gauchos. Damn, metal-nation - Gauchos sailed over to the kingdom of Hades on a car door and done murked all y'all with all y'all own shit. Not since Isaac Hayes and Faith No More have we seen someone knock out a myriad of cover versions which make the originals sound superfluous in comparison. Hit us wit' dem riddim stix, boyz :

Gauchos - Refuse/Resist (Sepultura)

I'd quickly like to take this oppurtunity to clarify that when I wore snow-camo kecks at the age of 14 it was because of Public Enemy and Christian Slater in Gleaming The Cube, not because the Cavalera brothers from Sepultura also wore 'em, capiche? Anyway, lil' man on the right looks like Guy Mariano in Ban This here and can play the same guitar my nan bought me for my 16th birthday better than I ever could, which isn't particularly difficult since I couldn't play a note and mainly used it to pose with in front of the mirror when jamming out to Kyuss and Born Again$t.

Gauchos - Paranoid (Black Sabbath)

Where'd the third dude come from and why's he singing instead of lil' Argie Guy Mariano? I 'unno, I can't really listen to Black Sabbath anymore after being subjected to the Osbourne family on tv over the last decade. I want my doom-metal heroes to stay within the realm of Planet Caravan, thank you very much. You don't get Wino from The Obsessed/Saint Vitus's kids making shit electro-pop videos based on Godard's best movie (fair play to Kelly's stylist that day for keeping a straight face when telling her that, yes, love, you really do look like Anna Karina) or doing ITV reality shows about bungee jumping, and you'd never get Scott Reagers's wifey judging a reality show where she puts all her faith in some paddy kid with the nom de plume of Tabby, who fancied himself as the singer from Lost Prophets, but was more reminiscent of Danny Kendall from Grange Hill with a bottle of hair dye, a pair of distressed flares from River Island, and a bunch of accessories procured from the adverts at the back of Kerreng.

Gauchos - Walk (Pantera)

Now with grown-out wigpieces, Gauchos rip this shit with thunder which was lacking from Pantera's original version. Did any rappers ever kick any Dimebag Darrell lines or was a metal guitarist gettin' popped onstage by a fan a bit too obscure for the average rapper in 2005? I'm sure if it were 2010 when Dimebag got his cap peeled, then Joe Budden and Crooked I would've spent the morning after it arguing with each other on webcam over who could kick the first freestyle with a "blunts get smoked like Dimebag" or "got my brains blew like Dimebag" punchline.

Gauchos also do some Iron Maiden covers, but I never understood the appeal of t'Maiden. What? I like my metal all riffs and sandpapered vocals, not widdley-widdley guitar solos and yodelling.

On a metal related ending note, those 2 new High On Fire songs are purdy damn good, so I'm now officially amped for their forthcoming Snakes For The Divine album.

1 comment:

brad said...

lol @ tabby = danny kendall

bruce dickinson is a cunt, but old maiden is great.