Sunday 3 January 2010

The slightly belated 2009 Martorialist awards

Like Jeezy I don't be Tweetin'. It's not that I'm NOT a narcissist trying to turn a corner of the internet into a shrine to myself too, but the only thing I can think of that's possibly worse than polluting the internetz with every asinine thought of mine or mundane updates about the hemp seed oil I've just bought this afternoon, is having the invaluable information about Shaun Pollock bowling averages and Spanish license plates stored in my head that may well come in useful in a pub quiz one day forever dislodged from my dome by YOUR asinine thoughts and mundane updates about the hemp seed oil YOU'VE just bought this afternoon, and NONE of us want to see that happen, do we?

So, you'll have to excuse me while I use this place for an anally self-indulgent year end list post. This one is more for personal future reference, so here's a picture of a cock 'n' balls shaped tomato grown by a friend of mine to keep you amused while I get on with the boring stuff.



No specific order to any of these.

TV shows of 2009 :

Life
Are You An Egghead? series 2
Peep Show series 6
Curb Your Enthusiasm season 7

Movies of 2009 :

The Wrestler
Mesrine 1 + 2
Moon
Bad Lieutenant, Port Of Call : N.O

2009 movies everyone else hated which I sorta liked :

Gamer
The Box
Notorious
Surrogates

Man, fuck all y'all. Especially all y'all who kept recommending Where The Wild Things Are who caused us to waste last night watching it at the flicks.

Radio shows of 2009 :

Hawksbee & Jacobs on TalkSport
Jeff Mao on SpineMag radio
Greenpeace on SpineMag radio

Albums of 2009 :

DJ Quik & Kurupt - BlaQKout
The Dream - Love Vs. Money
Curren$y - This Ain't No Mixtape
Converge - Axe To Fail

Quik & Kurupt wiped the floor with everyone else in rap; The Dream wiped the floor with everyone in general; Curren$y's official debut is the best rap album which doesn't actually exist as a rap album; and Converge's latest effort is pretty much Converge-by-numbers down to the sad epic closing track and that's exactly what I want from a Converge album.

Other rap songs I was feelin' in 2009 :

Cormega - The Other Side
AZ ft. DJ Greg Mack - Live Your Life
Lil' Boosie ft. Webbie - Fuck The Police
DOOM - Batty Boyz
Curren$y - Get It Ya Self
Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y - Rolling Up
Suga Free - Still Rather Give U My Bitch
Z-Ro - Raw
Method Man & Raekwon - Meth Vs. Chef Part 2
Eddi Projex - On Sight
8Ball & MJG - Ten Toes Down
The Jacka & Berner ft. Killa Tay - Prey On The Weak
Husalah - On The Street
Red Cafe ft. Pete Rock - Heart And Soul
Lil B - Chasing The Rain
Gucci Mane - Lemonade
Beanie Sigel ft. Young Chris - Return Of The Chain Gang
UGK ft. Sleepy Brown - Swishas And 'Erb
G-Side ft. Yelawolf - Who's Hood
Cam'Ron - I Got It In Ohio
Max B - Cops Come Running
A-Wax & Gonzoe ft. E-40 - Designer Drugs And Beatdowns

AKA rap songs I was feelin' in 2009 that I've not mentioned on here in previous posts. All of these got serious play by me and most will feature on any 2009 playlist I'll make in the future.

Live shows of 2009 :

De La Soul doing 3 Feet High And Rising
Ghostface

Biggest lolz of 2009 :

Rafa Benitez in general
Mark Hughes getting the sack

What was funnier - Rafa's shellshocked expression and nervous laugh when Geoff Shreeves asked him about Xavi Alonso after Liverpool lost their first math of the season, or Wenger barely being able to conceal a smug grin when asked about his opinion on Mark Hughes gettin' the boot? Pity nobody asked David Moyes for his thoughts on Sparky's departure as he'd have probably given us the most rousing rendition of The Laughing Policeman in recent memory.

16 comments:

brad said...

definately Rafa

but mate...Gamer stunk.

Boothe said...

Word on Notorious. I fully intended to see that movie just so that I could hate on it later. Also, a girl paid for my ticket and snacks. :-)

Some poor casting (Pac and Cease), and some under developed characters (Kim), but otherwise it was a very solid movie.

Loved Basterds as well, and I think I'm gonna name it my fav of 2009. Had such a good time watching that shit.

District 9 is on my HATE list though.

Rob Pursey said...

Dope list man!! Expected nothing less.

Good looking out on The Dream!

TV was exact apart from the ommission of 'The Thick Of It'! That new series even beat Curb for me (and Curb was off the hook this season - Danny Dubberstein!!)

I'm still amused at your constant Drake hate - ha ha

Need to see some of those films for real - don't watch too many these days.

Davey Boy Smith said...

Crazy how little love Mesrine gets. It was that good kind of grim involving Cassel at his most snarliest.

Last season of Peep Show was arguably one of the best. I think it did fall off season before last (think it was that one) but anything involving Dobby was ill to the fucking pill!

Curb was the best season ever. And Danny Duberstein should release a spoken word album.

Funny People was great. I think it might be Sandler's least irritating performance, and coincidentally his least funny. Need to check Moon. Wasn't sure about Where The Wild Things Are when I saw it at the pictures but it's marinated in my mind as a better film than when I watched it. The expressions on the monsters' faces were pretty damn poignant and I think I might have enjoyed it more at the time had I not expected an actual (coventional) storyline/arc.

You should check out Baller's Eve Radio on EVR, playlists are always very very dope.

And I think we missed out on one of the best shows of all time last night in Santa Cruz where at Jacka's live show Husalah turned up in I think his first gig since getting out and apparently stage dived three times. Yeah, I know.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Brad - both Sha and I agree that Gamer was ace. You're just a square.

Boothe - the Kim rapping along to Who Got The Props as it played on the radio is one of the best scenes of 2009 and any movie which features an actor playing Craig Mack is automatically better than 96% of the other movies which came out in 2009.

Rob - I've completely slept on The Thick Of It despite the reviews and a couple of mates of mine urging me to watch it. It's on my to check list.

Davey - Someone really needs to get Jack', Hus' and AP.9 over here for a show asap, and thanks for the tip on Ballers Eve radio.

dj said...

I love the Wrestler. The Thick Of It was brilliant. I have one episode of Curb left; it is easily the equal of 6 thus far, and a great series. The Shield season 7 was on channel 5 this year, and was OUTSTANDING, easily the best show on TV.

Benitez has indeed been amusing, but perhaps the biggest LOL was the fact that Punter will presumably retire having lost more Ashes series as captain than won, a fitting epitaph for an ingratiating cunt, albeit outrageous talent and temperament.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Good call with Ricky P. Though i do have soft spot for him as i like arrogant Aussie heels in cricket and he's really the only one left, bar Brett Lee.

Agreed on season 7 of The Shield, although i did think the final episode was a bit disappointing. So much chaos and tension in the 3 or 4 episodes leading up to it with deaths and busts galore and then it ends with retribution for Vic where he's trapped in a terrible life of...a cushy office job where he can tap his secretary and mess around browsing the 'net all day. Yeah, ok.

I wanted some sort of retribution for Dutch too after he strangled the cat in the 3rd season. What a cunt.

James said...

It was my pleasure haha.

I cosign The Thick Of It too.

Mr Bozack said...

tv - breaking bad (awesome), the us office (give it a chance), masterchef (how fuckin gangster is michel roux?).

films - let the right one in, the class (to be fair these both might be 2008) and, er, le donk and scor-zay-zee....

radio - alice cooper on planet rock - ludicrously bad to the point of genius.

albums - souls of mischief, felt, del and tame, cappo and endemic (obviously "diff style" of hip hop to your picks but then you call yourself MF?...clearly i'm a noob here and need to read up on your ish)

shows - ace/edo and jehst, dirty dc, nearly dan

clunge - lady sov, emilia from gym babes on the iphone

lolz - rafa hell yeh and dj's punter shout's nice

dj said...

And it was all open for them; they simply had to have the kid plant more evidence in his house or whatever, then have Billings or Claudette not believe him. Or have him assault the kid or something.

Mackey's ending might have looked lame, but Gardocki's bust was stomach churning, and Vendrell's Benoit moment was awesome I thought.

Oh yeah, much love to H and J as well. I first discovered them in 2000, when they presented a radio show about cricket which was ostensibly them playing Howzat. Indeed the radio show of the 00's, although Tommy Boyd's short lived Human Zoo, although long gone, will not be forgotten. Never before has a man equally inspired such loathing and admiration.

True about Punter being the last ocker bastard left, although don't underestimate the future potential of Watson and Siddle. Particularly Siddle. I see Lee more as a Larrikin myself.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Arf @ Benoit moment.

DJ - I once tried calling in to the Human Zoo, but unfortunately my Did you ever shag Michaela Strachan? call didn't make it to air.

I'd agree on Siddle, and you're probably right about Lee too. You can't really be a proper heel like the god McGrath if you've got bleached hair like Adam from Home & Away.

Mr Bozack - them's my initials but i fuck with Doom/KMD, old Native Tongues, old Hiero (specifically Casual), and old anyone else you'd expect. It's just good modern backpack rap has been thin on the ground this last decade, bar Doom, Masta Ace, Count Bass D and Wise Intelligent.

Mr Bozack said...

Nice - my mate worked on one of Tommy B's shows in Norwich or some shit - after Tommy had been booted off (?) Talk Radio. Thoroughly decent chap apparently.

Yeh, I'm one of these miserable old cunts that thinks hip hop pretty much died in the early 90s (apart from the stuff mentioned). For some reason, all the sort of joints you check on here have completely passed me by. Maybe hit me with a top 5 "must hears" or whatever if you can be assed.

dj said...

Say what you like about Benoit - murderous bastard, for example - but he has at least immortalised himself: such as in the case of that nutter the other day, if someone kills his family and himself, he will always be considered to have "done a Benoit".

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

DJ - You read the Ring Of Hell book?

Mr Bozack - modern rap are waters a man must navigate on his own, but there's enough stuff from 2000 - 2009 in the archives here.

Mr Bozack said...

Fair point - I'll have a butcher's.

Take it you've seen this - https://www.roundhouse.org.uk/whats-on/productions/a-taste-of-sonar-4417

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

I'd heard vague rumours, but, no i hadn't seen any details.

Thanks