How low can you go?

Pookie F'n Rude already has a West Coast semi-hit with Put That On Everythang and it's all-star remix featuring E-40, Suga Free & E-40. I fux with the remix, but I prefer Pookie's latest single Hold Up because it sounds like the sorta song which could be a legit West Coast hit. This shit is what DJ Quik would call a Bam-Bam™: a big choon with a chorus you can holla at the moon and bass which is lower than Neck Face's enviable hairline. Song of my own private summer material.

Pookie F'n Rude - Hold Up
(From Hold Up single; 2024)


That bulldyke septum piercing makes Pookie look like a lesbian Timbaland. My guy heard Egyptian Lover's The Alezby Inn and got shit twisted like a kite's tail.

Not just knee deep

LARussell & P-Lo ft. Malachi & Richie Rich - What We Doin'?
(From Majorly Independent EP; 2024)


It was inevitable I'd post this song eventually given that I've already mentioned how Richie Rich makes the best video entrance of 2024 in it. Posting this shit today because Rich performed it in LARussell's backyard over the weekend and ended up thinking on his feet off the domepiece after he went flat out on his arse and broke his knee on stage. Let's put our hands together for a true professional Rap performer. The realest example of The Show Must Go On you'll ever see. "Never underestimate the O.G" 4 real.

"Bust the game down like an 8th of blow
Rocked it up, blew my knee, do you see that, yo?
Still flowin', n***a, and I can't stand up
N***as in the 'hood call the doc man up
What we doin'? F**kin' with a n***a on stage
What we doin'? Blew my knee actin' out my age
What we doin'? I don't really even give a f**k
What we doin'? I need some f**kin' help up
What we doin'? Somebody run and call the nurse
What we doin'? I done blew my f**kin' knee first
What we doin'? Baby, real talk, I can't move
What we doin'? I don't know what I'm 'bout to do"


Really doe, I'm buggin' that Richie Rich's non-studio IRL voice is different to his recorded rap voice. Who knew he #actually sounds like Neckface?

**EDIT** Different angle video which includes another double R freestyle as he's being carried off stage.

Who's House?

Royal House - Can You Party?
(From Top Of The Pops TV show; 1988)


Todd Terry released the proto-Rave classic Can You Party? under his Royal House pseudonym in 1988, and it was the first New York Hip-House track to blow up in Britain. When that shit become a U.K Top 20 hit in late '88, Terry was invited to perform the track on our weekly TV music chart show Top Of The Pops. The urban rumour has always been that none of the people onstage are #actually Todd Terry, and Champion Records who licensed Can You Party? for U.K release just hired Sonique and three black British blokes to pretend to be Royal House. I've always subscribed to this theory until I saw this late 80s picture of Todd minus his trademark baseball cap. The bloke up front miming the "CAN YOU FEEL IT?"s is him innit? Dial M for Martorialist if you agree!

All in all, it's just another brick in the balls

"Life comes at you pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

He ain't had much education, and after that brick to the bollox, he ain't gonna need much birth control. And people have the nerve to suggest that British comedy isn't as good as it used to be. M8, nobody does slapstick humour better than Great Britain™. Can't put shit past him, got whiteboys on his own team mad enough to blast him. Shout outs Del from Hiero, karma is a bitch!

"Being in the wrong place at the wrong time
Comin' at ya in the wrong state of mind"

Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - Wrong Place
(From No Need For Alarm album; 1993)

Generic list post: July 2024

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when the U.K said goodbye to Rishi Sunak & his famalam.

Hard Rock Soul Movement - Double Def Fresh (1986)
LARussell & P-Lo ft. Malachi - Who Else You Know (2024)
LARussell & P-Lo ft. D-Lo & Malachi - Yankin' (2024)
Kool John & P-Lo - Tip Toe (2024)
Seiji Oda - A Gentle Gigg (2024)
Seiji Oda - Last Summer (2024)
Eatem - Start It Off (2024)
Common & Pete Rock - All Kinds Of Ideas (2024)
Kurious - I Don't Even Exist (2024)
David Shire - Whatever Was Arranged (1973)
Keith Mansfield - The New Explorers (1987)
Keith Mansfield - Sunrise Technology (1987)

Bonus bloggin: 1nce again I'm gonna use my monthly wrap-up post to keep track of the best movies and TV shows I've been watching. * indicates rewatches dunnit.

Movies I watched and liked:
Sherlock Holmes and The House Of Fear (1945)
The Conversation (1974) *
Dreams Don't Die (1982)
It Follows (2015) *
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
Getting It Back: The Story Of Cymande (2024)
Longlegs (2024)
MaXXXine (2024)

TV shows I watched and liked:
Prisoner: Cell Block H (episodes 114 to 131) (1980)
Neighbours (new episodes) (2024)
Saucy! Secrets Of The British Sex Comedy (both episodes) (2024)
Germany versus Spain (Euro 2024 match) (2024)

"Look, if you only had one shot or one opportunity..."

LARussell & P-Lo ft. Malachi - Who Else You Know
(From Majorly Independent EP; 2024)


LARussell & P-Lo ft. Malachi - Damn
(From Majorly Independent EP; 2024)


Here at The Martorialist we're lovin' these rolling shot one take videos LARussell & P-Lo have been shooting for their EP. Just like the Yankin' clip, these two videos capture the songs' essence and energy in a way that's effortless like Boiling Point and not laboured like Birdman. There's far too many jump-cuts in most Rap videos and it's surely Jean-Luc Godard's fault innit?

All these clips for the EP were clearly shot in one day because the background cast of friends, famalam and fans are all wearing the same clothes in each clip. According to old timers from the Bronx "peace, love, unity and having fun" are the principles of Hip-Hop kulcha and these videos deliver all four in oodles. I dunno if I'd ever check for Malachi as a solo artiste, but he's a joy on these guest spots poppin' up and showin' out with excitable puppy dog teenage energy. Result: maximum Thizz Khalifa levelz achieved.

Also a big fan of the clip for What We Doin', particularly the bit when Richie Rich slides into frame in a root beer coloured old school motor to deliver his cameo. Now that's an entrance.

But still, everything's real in the Mansfield

Goretex ft. Necro - DopeSick
(From Necro's Brutality Part 1 compilation; 2003)


Dome blown in the comforts of my own home: the sample on Goretex & Necro's DopeSick comes from some Keith Mansfield KPM stock music famed for its regular use in the Australian women's prison TV serial Prisoner: Cell Block H. Damn, son.... worlds are colliding like the time Mark B sampled some KPM stock music used in the Are You Being Served? movie for Can't Be Stop by Missin' Linx. Turns out Keith Mansfield's shit has been sampled fairly frequently throughout the years, although his most sinister compositions Underlying Menace is hitherto untouched. That track is also famed for its regular use in Prisoner: Cell Block H. There was a war going on inside Wentworth Prison no woman was safe from, and whenever that music appeared some nefarious shit was about to go down.

Really shoulda included DopeSick in my legit choonz by tragically unhip New York rappers playlist. Alas, Goretex and Necro fell out in the mid 2000s which resulted in Necro going on a message board rant where he called Goretex "A ROBOTIC RETARD WITH VIRUSES (LEPROSY) THAT NO SPYWARE CAN CURE!" Never forgive action or wot?

Black Is Back

"I don't argue with my bitch, we just agree to disagree
You ain't never seen a n***a do this shit to dis degree"

Eatem - Start It Off
(From the internet; 2024)


Eatem has spent the past year bouncing in and out of prison, but he's back with a "allow me to reintroduce myself" type track. Much like Lil' Ricefield's Him Burton, this is one of those rare all bars/no chorus tracks I can fuxwit because it's a (re)intro which still has structure even though it lacks a chorus. Plus, the beat is that old robotic, futuristic Galvatron shit that's left a doo doo stain on my brain the size of Unicron. Don't get me twisted like an Arabian gymnast tho - apart from the 1986 movie, everything about the entire Transformers franchise sucked.

* Really doe, it's time for Eatem & Day Day Sustaaa to stop sittin' around like puddings and shoot a video for their battle-of-the-sexes song Get Somebody Else To Do It.

* Plz believe my Eatem's Greatest Pressure playlist is still available for yer listening pleasure.