Martorial Elegance: Court Is Now In Session

No Chill Rob G.

Och aye the Boo, Jay Lewis kilt it

"You ain't never set up shop, you ain't shoot back at the cops
Bitch, you know you ain't no boss, you ain't never take a loss
You ain't even brush yo' teeth, bitch, you know you never floss"

Jay Lewis - Scotlandville
(From t'internet; 2018)


Boyz-N-The-Hoodcore is back for 2018! The G.Y.A.B kid Jay Lewis caught Rab C. Nesbitt's holy ghost and was like "you see me, Jimmy? You see me? I am bringing back the spirit of Elm Street in your memory!"

Reasons why I love YouTube: In The Trunk edition

"Put that tooth under my pillow and went on to sleep
And at 5 AM in the morning I was laid up with a freak"


Ah, so this is one of Too $hort & Freddy B's infamous pre-75 Girls Records street tapes which they used to slang outta the trunk around the Bay. 1983 Oakland adventures of super XXX-rhymes about mackin' white freaks and the Tooth Fairy over Spyder D's Smerphies Dance.

Bonus beats: this guy really needs to digimitize his Too $hort and Freddy B street tapes.

Generic list post: August 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when drama returned.

Mac Dre & DJ Cee - Donkey Ain't Free (1989)
Pete Rock & C.L Smooth - Cool & Calm (1990/2009)
Z-Man - White Girls Wit Ass (1999)
Z-Man - Artistic Violence (1999)
70th Street Carlos - Change On Me (2018)
70th Street Carlos - Over You (2018)
OMB Peezy - Venting Session (2018)
Edan - Real Bad Promo (2018)

Other notables: Boosie's rapping infant daughter is now a teenager who makes the modern equivalent of the music Boosie made during his own teenage years; alas, Nef The Pharaoh's album was too little, too late; hated all of YG's 2018 singles so I didn't even bother with his new album; Jacka's posthumous album with Ampichino is emotional as fuck, but no songs had me rewinding them the way One Sound and and Die Young from Jacka's posthumous album with Berner did.

PS: fave discovery on BigSleep's Genie of The Slap zipfile frenzy was Juice Lee's I'm Juiced.

I never seen a man misidentified 'til I seen a man die

Equal amounts of FFS & LOL, tbqh.

Does B.E.T's website employ the same subs as The Guardian and The Mail Online?

Generic list post: What That Mouth Do?

Remember dem dayz when beatboxing wasn't just noise pollution made by busking white lads in peaked beanies or the fifth element of Hip Hop for German #trueskool truthers? Let's cast our minds back to when beatboxing was the backbone of tracks wot banged with a capital B. The 20 best Make The Music With Your Mouth Rap songs of all time as according to ya author Blog E. Fresh.

Fat Boys - Stick 'Em (1984)
Doug E. Fresh & MC Ricky D - La Di Da Di (1985)
Bad Boys ft. K-Love - Veronica (1985)
Run-DMC - Son Of Byford (1986)
Roxanne Shante ft. Biz Markie - Def Fresh Crew (1986)
Biz Markie - A One Two (1986)
Just-Ice ft. Human DMX - Gangster Of Hip Hop (1986)
Stetsasonic - Faye (1986)
The Skinny Boys - Get Funky (1986)
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince ft. Ready Rock C - Rock The House (1987)
Slick Rick ft. Doug E. Fresh - Treat Her Like A Prostitute (Movie Version) (1988)
MC EZ & Troup - Get Retarded (1988)
Beastie Boys - Get On The Mic (1989)
Vicious ft. Doug E. Fresh - Freaks (1994)
Rahzel - All I Know (1999)
Prince Paul ft. Chubb Rock & Biz Markie - Mr. Large (1999)
Snoop Dogg ft. Lil' Skateboard P - Drop It Like It's Hot (2004)
MF DOOM - Hoe Cakes (2004)
Nas ft. Doug E. Fresh & Ludacris - Virgo (2004)
Husalah - Stupid Dumb (2007)

(Only built 4 SEO hits: best beatbox songs ever.)

The Wizard Of Spazz

"I'm fucked up in the head, been like this since an early age
I be clean as a bitch, but I got some dirty ways
Fuck 30 pair of shoes, bitch, I got 30 plays"

70th Street Carlos - Change On Me
(From YouTube; 2018)


Toto, I've got a feeling we're not on 70th Street anymore. This one's a bit different than the teaser snippet suggested innit? To paraphrase The Alliance, I Gotta Get Used To This.

Generic list post: Alas Smith and Choonz

The theory: gangsta rappers have done more to maintain Larry Smith's legacy than the entire grandstanding REAL HIP HOP preservation society. The proof: this list of Legit Slaps™ which sample, beatjack, or interpolate Larry's classic productions for Whodini, Run-D.M.C, and the Fat Boys.

Eazy-E - Boyz-N-The-Hood (1987)
Mac Dre & DJ Cee - Donkey Ain't Free (demo) (1989)
C-Bo - Play 4G (1994)
Spice 1 - Sucka Ass N*ggas (1995)
Dru Down - Can You Feel Me (1996)
Richie Rich - Ruff Neckin' (1996)
Mac Dre ft. Jay Tee & Beesh - Where We Dwell (1996)
Ice Cube & Master P - You Know I'm A Ho (1998)
The Delinquents ft. Too $hort - Are Back (1999)
Dru Down - In Jail (2008)
DB Tha General - Rockin' In My Blues (2010)
Mac Blast - 5 Min. Of Funk (2010)
Ezale - 5 Minutes Of Funktown (2013)
Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2014)
Young Devi D - Ain't No Question (2016)
Street Knowledge - Dru Down Flow (2017)
Yung Cat - Itz Like That (2017)
Discogs blinded me with actual factz: Thomas Dolby produced Whodini's Magic's Wand and then reused the riddim for one of his own B-Sides. Much like 5 Minutes Of Funk, Magic's Wand is another Whodini song ya host prefers as an instrumental.