In this one big room full of bad bitches, I'm tryna leave the room with all the bad bitches

IamSu! dropped a brand new song a couple of days back, but here's 4 reasons why I'm way more excited that this Show Banga joint he appeared on alongside Kool John received a video a week or so ago :

"Get your freak on like Missy, hoe
drop it down to the tootsy-roll
put my dick in her pussy hole
have her screamin' and creamin', I'll leave that pussy all gushy, hoe"

Show Banga ft. Kool John & IamSu! - Party Ain't A Party
(From Youtube; 2012)


1. Point blank, it's just a better song than IamSu's Mobbin', which is all hollow piss 'n' vinegar bluster.

2. As a joint with a weird plink-plink-plonking video game melody at its axis, Party Ain't A Party sounds so good played alongside a certain amazing King Louie track were not officially allowed to talk about yet.

2. Bay Area jams which somehow configure Grindin's stabs-of-death into their DNA will never cease to be a good thing.

3. If it were up to me, Lil' Jon "OKKKAAYY" samples would be as omnipresent as James Brown "HUH!" samples were in 1988.

F**k Prodigy's prison blog posts, REMEMBER WHAT PIMP C BROUGHT TO THE TABLE!

Eat 7000 wee-wees and die! Y'all rappers on the internet are as friendly as a box of puppies. If Pimp C was still alive in 2012, y'all social media accounts wouldn't exist! True story, don't quote me - I got it from Tom & Tila Tequila!

WHY??.....

Current mood:accomplished

EVERYBODY WANA KNOW WHY IM RIDIN ON SOME OF THESE PUSSY RAP NIGGAZ ? EVERY SONG I MAKE NIGGAZ CALLING IT A DIS SONG!!!!!! NEWS FLASH..... WHEN I REALY START RIDIN ON NIGGAZ IM GONA SAY THEY NAMES! I DONT PLAY NO GAMES WIT BITCH MADE MTHFKAZ! NIGGAZ N THIS RAP SHIT 85% FAKE AND FRAWD! NIGGAZ GOT MAD N ATL BUT MOST OF THEM PUSSY NIGGAZ AINT EVEN FROM ATL! YALL MOVED 2 ATLANTA BITCH! THE REAL ATL NIGGAZ KNOW ME! I GOT RESPECT 4 THE REAL BUT FUCK U INTERNET UTUBE STUDIO FAKE DRUG SELLING CHANGE YO SET EVERY YEAR ASS NIGGAZ! REAL TRILL NIGGAZ IS TIRED OF THEM BITCHIZ AND IM THE ONLY ONE THAT HAD THE NUTZ 2 SAY IT AND THE MOUTHPEACE 2 BACK IT UP!!!!!!!!!! AND 2 THEM NIGGAZ THAT SAY I AINT REALY PIMPIN!!! ASK YO BITCH IF IM PIMPIN NIGGA! I CAN TAKE A NIGGA HOE THRU A CAR STEREO SPEAKER NIGGA! 2 EVERYBODY RIDIN WIT ME LUV CHUUUUUCH! 2 THE ONEZ THAT AINT! PICTURE ME ROLLIN LIKE PAC(RIP)! KEEP THROWIN SALT ON ME! THATZ SEASONING 2 A STEAK!

PUSSY ASS NIGGAZ

I GOT A HOE ASS NIGGA PLAYIN ON MY PHONE! HIS # IS 214 462 0263! IN YALL FREE TIME I WANT ALL MY PEOPLE 2 CALL THIS BITCH NON STOP AND TELL HIM WHAT YALL THINK BOUT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUNKY BITCHIZ

ALL U FUNKY HOEZ AKTING LIKE U KNOW ME POSTING ALL THAT PUSSY SHIT CAN EAT MY DICK! U HOEZ DONT KNOW ME SO STOP PLAYIN LIKE U DO! IF U DID KNOW ME U WOULDNT BE PLAYING ON MYSPACE WIT YO FINGERZ! U WOULD BE GETTING SOME MONEY AND STAYIN BUSTER FREE! MY DICK AINT FREE! MY TIME IS MONEY AND ALL FUNKY COCK HOEZ NEED 2 GET A JOB AND GET OFF THE POLE DANCING 4 DOLLAR BILLS! IF U A RESPECTABLE PERSON WHO HANDLE THEY BIZ AND TAKE CARE OF YO BIZ AND KIDZ U LAPHING AND LUVING THIS BLOG! IF U MAD U THE ONE IM TALKIN BOUT BITCH!!!!!! CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!!!!!! BY THE WAY THIS IS PIMP CHAD aka PIMP C OF UGK bka SWEET JONES! NEW NAME MACKEAL JORDAN 223 N CASE U GOT IT TWISTED! SAY WHAT U WANT JUST SPELL MY NAME RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE NEW ALBUM IS PLATNUM! THANK YALL WHO GOT THE REAL AND IF U GOT THE BOOTLEG U AINT PLAY NOBODY BUT YOSELF CUZ I BOOTLEG MY OWN SHIT!!!!!!!!!! CANT BEAT EM JOIN EM! TABANAKLE! PREACH! SANKUWARY! AINT IT MAN??????????????????

Is Lil' Reese a worse human being than Jimmy Savile?

C'mon now, sons, moons and earths - if there's 2 reasons to hate Lil' Reese it's not because he beats up his baby-momma and throws punches like that gay lad who knocked Lil' B out. Hell, it's not even that his voice sounds like what you'd expect a Lupe Fiasco weed-carrier to sound like and that he has no reason to exist beyond being a Chief Keef back-up dancin' ass video homie because he's technically no worse than Keef's couple of other charisma-free indistinguishable Rapping BFFs.

No, the 2 reasons we should all loathe Lil' Reese are that he's the dead spit of the 7th guy you'd see on some British Grime posse cut video from 2005 and Def Jam will probably release an album by this ol' Masta Killa of Roll Deep lookin' ass hack next year as they let Peedi Crakk's A Night In The Life and Gunplay's Medellin rot in their vaults alongside Flava Flav's 1991 Bomb Squad-produced solo album :

Reese ought to be awful thankful for the I Don't Like remix, Frat House by Slaughterhouse, Work by A$AP Ferg, Father's Day by Yelawolf, Reagan by Killer Mike & El-P, and that Vinnie Paz joint over a sample of one of those those overrated ol' glorified Robson & Jerome soundin' ass albums Johnny Cash made with Rick Rubin in the 90s (*1), or Savage would be a no-brainer for the worst song of 2012.

*1 Actual factz : Johnny Cash's only real great late-career renaissance was his stunning Muppet Show appearance; after that it was all downhill.

It's the dukes

Thumbs up that old Boosie joints are still being blessed with videos because I quite fancy clips for My N*gga Then, Dirty World and Bank Roll Part 2. Thumbs down that his family will probably be all up in the videos like they are in the new clip for Mama Know Love right chea because you just know his Rapping ass daughter is gonna feature on every single song he records once he's released from prison.

Lil' Boosie - Mama Know Love
(From Southside Don Dada mixtape; 2009/the internet; 2012)


Lil' Phat died so Iviona Hatch could have a Rap career. (;_:)

Free Rose West!!!

I never quite got around to writing about how Yo Gotti would've had 4 great singles in a row had he not broken the most crucial rule of Rapping about blowjobs on the last verse of the otherwise excellent I Got Dat Sack and started focusing on the details of his dick instead of vividly describing wat dat mouf do. An unacceptable error for a Rapper who made his debut 12 years ago that I'll only forgive if he makes more song like track # 1 from the latest instalment of his Cocaine Muzik series of mixtapes in future :

Yo Gotti - Bulletproof
(From C.M 7 (The World Is Yours) mixtape; 2012)


Yo Gotti mixtapes tend to start with blockbuster opening tracks where he declares himself the grand emperor elect of Trap-Rap', so Bulletproof arrives as a welcome change of pace given that Lil' Lody's production sounds like what a Blaxploitation theme by Beats By The Pound might've sounded like and Gotti doesn't mention cooking cocaine in his kitchen on it once. Yo Gotti's so much better when he eases back on the Jeezy-jackin' to return to his roots as a classicist Gangsta-Rapper in the vein of C-Loc or C-Bo, but Bulletproof ultimate triumph comes when Gotti implores the U.S government to free Big Meech since it's one of those mind-boggling moments of retarded logic that could only ever come from a Rapper.

Free Big Meech!!!

Free Big Lurch!!!

Free South Park Mexican!!!

Free Ian Brady!!!

Free Paul Taylor and Michael Barton!!!

Token Bad Boy Records post of the month

A couple of years back, XXL magazine ran a Bad Boy Records tribute article which featured Black Rob talking about how the first song he cut for the label was an R&B remix, but, because he wasn't acclimatised to the art of rhyming on Rap & Bullshit jams, he went into the booth and started kicking lyrics about sticking grenades in people's mouths as he robbed them for their North Face bubble-gooses until Biggie tapped him on the shoulder and was like "chill, dook - you gotta approach these type of records differently!" This is that remix, and while it isn't touching the Bad Boy mix of Only You, it still cacks on the original version of Come See Me because nobody wants to listen to a eunuchized New Edition like 112 sing for a full song :

112 ft. Black Rob - Come See Me (Bad Boy remix)
(From Come See Me single; 1996)


I didn't hear this back in 1996 so I'm not sure if it was meant to capitalise on the success of Put It In Your Mouth or if it was just some sort of bizarre double-coincidence that it happened to use the exact same samples of Brick's Fun and Al Green's I'm Glad You're Mine as Akinyele's most famous song. Kinda hope that it's the latter, because Put It In Your Mouth stealing this remix's thunder would be perfect karmic compensation for Biggie's One More Chance remix cock-blocking Big L's MVP just as it was beginning to gain momentum in 1995.

Ayo Chief Keef

Ain't nobody buying into your colder-than-a-Polar-bear's-chode Superthug shtick any more after you've pussied out and pulled the ol' "my Twitter account was hacked!!!" stunt on two separate occasions now, broski. In future you should stick to the party jamz like Hate Bein' Sober because I can't imagine anyone other than David Drake really needs a 100x less catchy facsimile of that song where you Rap like you're out chea on your Denzel at this point, especially when Lil' Durk stays steady bodying you with your own aura :

"..they that violence come back from Rap
they say we the reason that Chicago strapped.."

Lil' Durk - Disappearing
(From Life Ain't No Joke mixtape; 2012)

Got dat paypa, dog

Not really kept up with Wax Poetics magazine since Borders closed down over here, but had I seen the recent No Limit cover issue in my local Smiths I'd have snatched that shit off the racks quicker than Future after he'd just spotted a denim New Era with 356 different studs on it. Thanks to Jack The Snipper for scanning me the Beats By The Pound interview in there; who needs the usual "what MPC do you use?" Wax Poetics interviews when you can have KLC et al yappin' about how Percy Miller owes them $15 million instead? Click to resize, obv' :