Buck dodgers

As great as So Much Money, I Ain't Sparin' N*ggas, Who Da Neighbors and Smoke That Bitch were last year, Juicy J should probably retreat back to Memphis and shut the fuck up for the remainder of 2012 because there wasn't anything salvageable from his Blue Dream & Lean mixtape, and Koopsta Knicca is probably weeping syrup tears at the prospect of him making Weed-Rap alongside Wiz Khalifa and Berner now he's signed with Taylor Gang. Many an old mercenary Rapper has crashed on the rocks when attempting to sail towards waters populated by da youf in the internet-collaboration era, so lets have a round of applause for DJ Paul's new mixtape eschewing trendy guest spots from Kreayshawn, A$AP Rocky and SpaceGhostPurrp, and not deviating from the Three 6 Mafia blueprint of sounding evil yet fun.

The original version of Cocky is a top 5 single of the year thus far, so it's baffling why they've only included the inferior remix with 2 Chainz on the 'tape, but the Buck Nah remix here is a revelation since it dispenses with the services of long time cameo parasite Ya Boy and ratchets up the aggression of the original so that this shit now sounds like it should score a Taco restaurant fight video on WSHH directed by Michael Bay circa Bad Boys 2 :

DJ Paul - Buck Nah remix
(From For I Have Sinned mixtape; 2012)

Martorial elegance : Boosie edition # 8

It ain't White Boy Day, but from here on in april 21st is officially My White Boy Pain Day as well as international Record Store Day. Soak up the existential malaise in this dudes doey eyes, pursed lips and cocked-head, and then peep this extract from Fat Lace supremo Drew Huge's forthcoming Rap memoir Whiggers With Attitude. Click to resize :

DB's coming to get you, Barbera!

Ain't gon' lie, I'd somehow completely ignored Don't Worry within the context of I Shine, We All Shine until it received a video a couple of days back. A fairly baffling and unforgivable state of affairs on the part of truly yours there since it feels like a sequel to the haunting Murda, the song which first convinced me to keep an eye on DB back in late 2010 :

DB Tha General - Don't Worry
(From I Shine, We All Shine album; 2012)


Whether its paintballing in da wudz, Master P circa Da Last Don outfits and hiding under parked cars with pistols, or Mr. MacKay from Porridge C.O sweaters, DB always manages to come up with a memorable gimmick for his video clips. What's the significance of the chick dating a dead DB in this, though? A reference to a movie I'm hitherto unaware of or summat?

Boosie's trial starts today

The highlight of Young Bleed's rare, secrete and, frankly, otherwise shitty third album Carleone's Vintage, released in 2002 on his own Da'tention Home imprint after Priority Records dumped him due to his sophomore album My Own not doing My Balls And My Word numbers :

Young Bleed ft. Lucky Knuckles & Lee Tyme - Whatchall Mean
(From Carleone's Vintage album; 2002)


If I were born a Baton Rogue thug then listening to an eerie Country-Rap jam like this today would probably have me trying to cast voodoo spells that'll get Boosie pardoned, but since I'm a white Englishman who only curses at police officers when they're out of earshot it just makes me want to wear a bra on my head like Gary and Wyatt when they're trying to bring the Barbie doll to life in Weird Science as I'm sporting my wooden Boosie pendent instead.

Continentally known

"When you were riding a skateboard, I was riding shotgun with my chauffeur in a Lincoln Continental, and when you were riding a bike, your mother and sisters were standing in line waiting to ride Space Mountain!"

Danny Brown - Lincoln Continental
(From The Hybrid (Deluxe Edition); 2011)


The singles from The Hybrid and around 60% of XXX are all great, nevertheless I'm gagging for Danny Brown to make more songs like Lincoln Continental. Since Danny seems to be highly suggestible to internet influence, let's use this post as a petition to persuade him to record another experiment in Swag-Rap over the theme musik from a video game. Terrence Trent D'Arby this shit and then ask your old lady, your baby-mama, that chick you're fuckin' around with, and your grandma to do the same.

Dick look?

The saddest thing about Trill Entertainment isn't Boosie going to prison forever-ever, because we have a near-decade's worth of material by him to keep us busy, but the fall out which has seen Foxx and Mouse On Tha Track muscled out into the Datpiff badlands as the label becomes a vanity project for Turk and Mel's offsprings. Shit, I love me some Lil' Phat, but imagine a 2012 Trill Fam roster with Mouse as the in-house production/songwriting auteur, Webbie and Foxx cherry picking his finest beats, and potential hits like Swagger Fresh Freddie not being wasted as Youtube clips which still havent scraped their way to 100, 000 views in over a year.

Chin up, though, lads, because Dick Look from Mouse's upcoming Fish Fry album with Houston's Killa Kyleon demonstrates that Mouse is still knocking out the jams for those of us with a sweet tooth for Baton Rogue Rap. Alas, a Dick Look is less clearly defined than a Gas Face or even a Bitch N*gga since it appears that the term applies to both sexes in a variety of different circumstances, but I demand that my Trill Entertainment-related Rap should leave me confused with its contradictory flip-flops of logic since we're never going to hear Boosie complain about police harassment and then brag about possessing illegal firearms and moving various Class A substances in the same song again :

Mouse On Tha Track ft. Killa Kyleon - Dick Look
(From Fish Fry; 2012)

Ayo America

You might have an awful lot to answer for in allowing Brendan Soderberg and Mindbender Futurama to pontificate about Rap for a living in major publications, but never ever forget that when it comes to downright terrible/laughable opinions about zee Rap muzik in print then my fellow British famalam will always have the game on lock thanks to The Guardian's many embarrassing dalliances with the genre.

From misspelling the names of Silkk The Shocker and Gucci Mane, to mentioning "the revolutionary polemics of Public Enemy" in every fucking article about Rap they've printed since 1990, The Guardian runs t'ings, t'ings nah run The Guardian. However, special attention should be paid to the work of Paul Lester for never failing to push out the boat into previously unexplored waters of Facepalm ocean whenever he's assigned the task of writing about this Rap shit. To wit, we've recently seen Paul laud the "avant-lounge stylings" of, um, A$AP Rocky, and declare Tyler, The Creator and Earl Sweatshirt are Odd Future's answer to Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious without the merest sliver of irony. But friday's piece on SpaceGhostPurrp where he concluded that SGP's mediocre Memphis-lite knock offs are the sound of "the Cocteau Twins meeting in a dark studio with Wu-Tang Clan" has forever cracked the prism of white rock critics only being able to process black ppl musik via British indie music; so deep are these cracks that non-critics are now beginning to cast odd reflections in the prism, because Danny Brown just tried checking out his hair in it and he was confronted by all 5 members of Ned's Atomic Dustbin staring back at him :


Time 4 sum Rap/80s indie crap puns : The Jesus And Jackie Chain, Frankly MC Shankly by The Smifs, Surfer 'Rosa, Tela Lugosi's Dead by Lil' Bow Haus, Mission Of Burrma, Touch Me I'm Sic Wid It, AZtec Cam'Ron, I Wanna Be ADOR, Dinosaur Jr. Writer, Rough Tray Deee Records...

Has Wooh Da Kid ever sampled a Ric Flair WHOOOOO?

And if not, why not? In any case, the 6th best Brick Squad joint of 2011 after Twin Towers 2 (Intro), I Prefer, My G, Bicken Back Bein' Bool and Koolin' It finally gets a video, arriving to remind us just how hard Triple F Life will probably suck in comparison and why white ppl should never attempt to rock bandanas :

Waka Flocka Flame ft. Wooh Da Kid - U The Type
(From Lebron Flocka James 3 mixtape; 2011)


That last Wooh 'tape from a month or so back came and went without practically any discussion so I assume everybody else found it as dull as I did? The 15 minutes or so I spent skipping through that to try and find anything worth keeping was precious time I'm sure to regret wasting when I'm on my coughing and wheezing on my deathbed.