Ayo America

You might have an awful lot to answer for in allowing Brendan Soderberg and Mindbender Futurama to pontificate about Rap for a living in major publications, but never ever forget that when it comes to downright terrible/laughable opinions about zee Rap muzik in print then my fellow British famalam will always have the game on lock thanks to The Guardian's many embarrassing dalliances with the genre.

From misspelling the names of Silkk The Shocker and Gucci Mane, to mentioning "the revolutionary polemics of Public Enemy" in every fucking article about Rap they've printed since 1990, The Guardian runs t'ings, t'ings nah run The Guardian. However, special attention should be paid to the work of Paul Lester for never failing to push out the boat into previously unexplored waters of Facepalm ocean whenever he's assigned the task of writing about this Rap shit. To wit, we've recently seen Paul laud the "avant-lounge stylings" of, um, A$AP Rocky, and declare Tyler, The Creator and Earl Sweatshirt are Odd Future's answer to Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious without the merest sliver of irony. But friday's piece on SpaceGhostPurrp where he concluded that SGP's mediocre Memphis-lite knock offs are the sound of "the Cocteau Twins meeting in a dark studio with Wu-Tang Clan" has forever cracked the prism of white rock critics only being able to process black ppl musik via British indie music; so deep are these cracks that non-critics are now beginning to cast odd reflections in the prism, because Danny Brown just tried checking out his hair in it and he was confronted by all 5 members of Ned's Atomic Dustbin staring back at him :


Time 4 sum Rap/80s indie crap puns : The Jesus And Jackie Chain, Frankly MC Shankly by The Smifs, Surfer 'Rosa, Tela Lugosi's Dead by Lil' Bow Haus, Mission Of Burrma, Touch Me I'm Sic Wid It, AZtec Cam'Ron, I Wanna Be ADOR, Dinosaur Jr. Writer, Rough Tray Deee Records...