Phatman Returns Part 2

"Look in the sky - it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's his soul
Tell the doctor the pallbearer put ya picture on they clothes"

Phat Baby - Proper Play (FWS)
(From Profit Off My Pain album; 2022)


It seems like Baton Rouge caught the holy ghost of Lil' Phat judging by Eatem's recent homage and this Phat Baby single. Damn, this shit is colder than the White Witch of Narnia's tit. A good bad-energy song with murder raps so foul I need to listen to something positive and wholesome afterwards to restore my moralbiotic balance. Ricky D to the rescue:

"So listen, be strong, scream whoopee-doo
Go for yours 'cause dreams come true
And you'll make your mommy so so proud of you too
And this is a message that the Ruler Rick threw"

Slick Rick - Hey Young World
(From The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick album; 1988)


PS: Instagram informs me that LL Cool J's Bigger and Deffer album was 35 years old yesterday. To celebrate can we get his performance of Go Cut Creator Go on Saturday Night Live back on YouTube?

They Shouldn't Have Got It: 5 beats Slick Rick should have got instead

B-Fats - The B-Fats (1987) The Show gave careers to Slick Rick and Teddy Riley, so it's a pity they didn't work together again in the late 80s. The B-Fats was a 1987 Rooftop classic for B-Fats, but in Slick Rick's hands it could have been an all-time classic full stop.

Vicious ft. Doug E. Fresh - Freaks (1994) On one hand, Freaks is the G.O.A.T babby-dancehall song. On the other hand, every Doug E. Fresh beatbox backing track should have gone to MC Rickoi D, and, yes, that includes Virgo.

Fat Joe ft. Krs One - Bronx Tale (1995) One of Diamond D's most sublime productions deserved far better than Fat Joe's autocued grunting and KRS One rhyming about cum-splattered Rap magazines. Why why why didn't Diamond save this beat for Slick Rick's post-prison comeback?

Jeru The Damaja - Not The Average (1996) If only Doctor Who would go back in time to 1996 during the recording of Jeru The Damaja's second album and tell DJ Premier to stash the beats for Not The Average, Ya Playin' Yaself and Me Or The Papes until Slick Rick came home from prison. TBF, Jeru did kill Not The Average, but he has such a finger-wagging puritanical tone that the song would be drastically improved if it were performed word-for-ford by Rick instead.

Reflection Eternal - The Blast (2000) Only Talib Kweli's own mum could possibly prefer him over this beat to Slick Rick the ruler. Rick and DJ Hi-Tek could keep Vinia Mojica on the track doing the backing vocals, but have her singing RICKY instead of KWELI.

A Love Tat's True

Don't mind me, I'm just over here Googling Slick Rick tattoos.

Fair play to anyone brave enough to get a portrait picture of a Rapper tattooed on they physical. Me, I'd be too shook that the tattoo ended up looking like Joey Deacon or the Rapper ended up getting exposed as a nonce. Ink was the moment I feared.

Who ate all the pies? Not 70th Street Carlos

"Yeah, I done sold my soul and put it on eBay
Fuck that shit, it wasn't worth nuthin' anyway
Yeah, and I can fuck your girl, n*gga, any day
It's up there I swear to God just like an interstate"

70th Street Carlos - Forgive Me
(From Win Or Lose mixtape; 2019)



Ain't no eatin' if you ain't bringin' shit to the table, and it looks like the artist formerly known as Boosie FatAzz turned up with the salad. This one's definitely my favourite of the non-Trel Itz A Hit tracks on Carlos' recent No Hooks-type mixtape.

Unrelated: that new Slick Rick song which was supposed to be on the Great Adventures... reissue and another new song just dropped like 2 purrr. MC Rickoi D lightin' up classic breaks & beats like he's just recorded 2 tracks for Top Shelf 8/8/88.

Slick Rick - Can't Dance To A Track That Ain't Got No Soul/Midas Touch
(From YouTube: 2019)


Full songs here and here.

Reasons why I love Instagram # 1

Because it's the only site with priceless footage of The Rock & Slick Rick in the studio together recording Pie:

Welcome to Rick's bakery... @therock #fbf

A post shared by Slick Rick The Ruler (@therulernyc) on Sep 15, 2017 at 9:12am PDT

Oi Uncle Ricky - where's that priceless studio footage of you & Dana Dane layin' the Smackdown over Godfather's Ho Train theme?