Monday, 28 May 2012

Reasons why I love Youtube # 24

So we can preserve the time Mark B & Blade appeared on Top Of The Pops with that bloke from Feeder for future generations to bawk at. With all the vocal and verbal dexterity of John Barnes on World In Motion, international Martorialist readers, please meet Blade: the longtime doyen of "real UK hip hop" and habitual espouser of a no sell-out philosophy who jumped at the chance at making some of that student union loot with a Indie-rock remix the second the idea was presented to him by his record label in 2000:


If you've ever wondered why you've never seen any UK Rap posted on this blog then this video is your answer in a nutshell: all the pizazz of Eric B. & Rakim and N.W.A stripped away to leave a fat 40 year old Turkish brickie celebrating his ordinariness and moaning about Americans treating him like a laughing stock. We'll let Mark B off the hook here because he once produced a Missin' Linx banger, but there are only two differences between this song and a comedy UK Rap record like Roland Rat & Kevin The Gerbil's Rat Rappin' (officially the first Rap record to derive from outside of America and the first Rap record I ever bought): Blade doesn't appear to be in on the joke on his track (and, indeed, career), and his performance here makes Roland Rat & Kevin The Gerbil sound like OutKast circa-1994 in comparison:

Roland Rat ft. Kevin The Gerbil - Rat Rappin'
(From Rat Rappin' single; 1983)

10 comments:

done said...

ha "fat 40 year old Turkish brickie celebrating his ordinariness". lol at someone who went to boarding school being the first major label UK rapper.

When I was a nipper I thought Big L said it was Mark B who explained the meaning of shook.

Fulci Lives said...

Gail Porter not looking like Irvine Welsh back then.

Richard Tre Mane said...

ARF!

brad said...

holy shit haha

jasper said...

Blade is armenian and his song with MC Mello is kinda dope http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZB-rNXHqhw

The CritIQ said...

Comedy-claim-to-fame: Blade's "Sealed with a diss" was inspired by/aimed at me. True Story.

Richard Tre Mane said...

Details!

The CritIQ said...

Firstly, how very dare you insult UK hiphop. Some of my best friends are humourless arhythmic wiggas with weed psychosis, sloppy scansion and a loathsome sense of cultural entitlement.

Secondly, if only Blade celebrated his ordinaryness. Many good rappers do just that (Murs, MegaRan, Devin to name but three) and they make great music out of everyday experience. Blade is the idiot's Chuck D - sans the charisma, cultural context and/or content. He's the archetypal "metaphysical/lyrical/miracle" rapper who thinks the world owes him rap stardumb and that those who buy his records deserve to have their ears bashed about those who don't. Much like Lowkey or his pal Immortal Technique, Blade paints aportrait of persecution in ridiculously broad brushstrokes but there's nothing to justify such unrelenting self-pity.

Thirdly,....Blade fanatics are a small but insanely loyal bunch so I don't really wanna go through all that again. I'd be better off opening a hotdog stand outside Abu Qatada's fave mosque.

Richard Tre Mane said...

Secondly, if only Blade celebrated his ordinaryness. Many good rappers do just that (Murs, MegaRan, Devin to name but three) and they make great music out of everyday experience.

They're American, though, so they automatically make it sound more exotic. There's a big difference between Devin rapping about sex with fat chicks and Blade rapping about picking up his giro.

Anonymous said...

It's Dinos Goldie, innit?

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