Ayo The Guardian

You really need to fire that indie-bird who writes the bi-weekly Film & Music supplement column about growing up in Wigan listening to The Verve so Anne Billson's movie musings and David Thomson's Biographical Dictionary Of Film post-scripts can run concurrently the same week, but this here blurb about one of Egyptian Lover's true masterpieces is your best F&M Playlist selection since the gay lad who likes rap chose Rubberband Banks by Young Dro a couple of months back, and its inclusion just about makes up for the ‘Sikk Tha Shocker’ faux pas last year and the hilariously predictable Tyler piece comparing Odd Future to the Sex Pistols more recently :



Egyptian Lover - I Cry (Night After Night)
(From On The Nile; 1984)



I'm always surprised you don't find more gay ppl rushing up to put a ring on rap musik's dick, because a genre that was erected on the dubious bedrock of dudes writing explicitly detailed salutations to their own genitalia surely has way more wildly homoerotic masturbatory thrills to offer them than Take That and Lady Gaga, no? But I digress because Egyptian Lover's tear-stained-pillowed ode to loneliness here was rap's first great ballad as well as the missing link between Computer Love by Zapp & Roger and The Beautiful Ones by Prince & The Revolution. His wordless exclamation of despondency after he says "because my smile's so weak" at 1:38 is just so utterly heartbreaking and the song also features the most concupiscent guitar solo-ing this side of the Dream Window version of the main Come To Me theme from the Fright Night OST :

Brad Fiedal - Dream Window (Come To Me)
(From the Fright Night soundtrack; 1985)



The cheap fútbol gags we've all been denied just because Fright Night/Terminator 2/True Lies soundtrack composer Brad Fiedel doesn't have an r dropped between the F and i of his surname probably do exist in the parallel dimension where Arsenal could actually manage to score past his near-namesake during his spells at Blackburn and Aston Villa. Have all y'all seen the trailer for the Fright Night remake yet then? Damn, son - you bleedin', son, baaaaad, son, and not because Jerry Dandridge has just taken a bite out of your neck, son, but because you're menstruating like Amy Peterson, son. If this terrible Adam Lambert video of a remake is a success with teenagers, gay ppl, mall-goffs and fat feminist blogger weed-carriers then it'd be the perfect opportunity for the original movie's soundtrack to receive the ol' remastered & reissued treatment, because my copy sounds like it was recorded in Max Schreck's coffin' back in 1922.