Sunday, 5 September 2010

Martorial elegance # 38

Over on IchLugeBullets, Dom P pointed out that Morrissey's latest "bloody chinkies comin' to our country and taking over our chippies"-styled racist remark from his Guardian interview yesterday had been swiftly embraced by those friendly gentlemen who frequent the Stormfront forum, but here at The Martorialist we were much more troubled by those dainty little gold chix-kix he was wearing in its accompanying photoshoot :

Are these some Onitsuka Tiger efforts then? Sure, we know that the Corsairs were a seventies O.G which Nike ripped off for the Cortez so lip service should be paid to them yadda yadda yadda, but, ROFLz, Onitsuka Tiger is a baby-momma's brand, son. Kind've an interesting juxtaposition going on with these particular ones here as they radiate 11 year old Ukranian gymnist and casual-dad-on-the-weekend's driving shoes in equal measure, which is terribly apt for Moz in 2010. Morrissey fans would probably rush to the defense of their boy claiming that, yo, there isn't exactly an abundance of choice for footwear when you're an uppity vegetarian who refuses to wear leather or suede, but our riposte would be that we have an uppity vegan mate called Gaz who subscribes to even stricter principles and he gets by quite nicely with his rotation of various canvas Vans models; so, basically, Moz, we'll refer you to Lil' Flip on this one :

Lil' Flip - You'z A Trick

Should any Morrissey fans find this post, I just wanna clarify that Lil' Flip isn't slang for the male Filipino prostitutes of L.A it's been alledged that cha man Moz has a fondness for, and the only thing the rapper Lil' Flip and the male Filipino prostitute community of L.A share in common is the possibility that they've contracted HIV when screwing their customers (whatever happened to those LIL' FLIP HAS AIDS! t-shirts T.I was supposed to be printing up?). Anyhoo, I would hope most regular readers of this blog would be agreed on the brilliance of Flip from I Can Do Dat to Game Over with his apex being the 2002 - 2003 period which saw his Underground Legend album and his verses on Like A Pimp and Ridin' Spinners, but I also have one helluva soft spot for his Kings Of Da South mixtape with Z-Ro and the 2005/2006 singles like You'z A Trick, Sorry Lil' Mama with 'Ro, and the original I Get Money with Jim Jones.

Morrissey fans who've just found this blog might want to also check our We left it wet for you, Moz post where Killa Barratt visited the Salford Lads Club.


The CritIQ said...

#Mozza and Wiliam Hague, in a tree, B U M-M, I N G.#

MF said...

William Hague has never buggered anybody with the x chromosone, yo!

The CritIQ said...

I think you mean the Y chromosome (women = XX, fellas = XY, Fat 'ev = OXO).

MF said...


I was always really bad at science.

brad said...

step yr science game up, mate haha

morrissey is a horrid man