"Talkin' 'bout he want me to stick my finger in my booty!"

Juke Life - Booty Hole
(From Soundcloud; 2011)


File this under ‘Soundcloud & Bullshit songs in a Dormtainment stylee which really need ad libs from Big Tigger in WBITCH mode.’ Main fella on this wins the Freak Of The Week award for that "go further up your back way past your tits/control you from your ass like a ventriloquist" lyric. Ease back there, Matthew Corbett.

Hat tip to some crazy ass blogger named ANU for this one. WBBBBBITCH where the W stands for finger near a blogger's arsehole like Whoa.

Generic list post: september 2015

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when crabs and rats were more appealing than listening to a certain Twitter-bait mixtape.

Greyson & Jasun ft. Slick Rick - Get Bizzy (1991)
Lil' Chris ft. Tiffini - Bad Lil' Chick remix (2015)
Plies - I Got It (2015)
Maine Musik - Social Media Gangsta (2015)
Fetty Wap ft. Monty - How We Do Things (2015)
Patman - Lit (2015)
A-Wax - Been A Long Time (2015)
Mozzy ft. E Mozzy & Celly Ru - Love Slidn (2015)
T.I. - Project Steps (2015)
Nick Brewer ft. Bibi Bourelly - Talk To Me (2015)
Popcaan - Slap Roun Deh (2015)

Other notables: also the month when the bottom of the Migos/Young Thug/Future cosplay barrel was well and truly scraped with Mystikal's Robert Dinero, Eearz's Work Ya Muscle and Young Dro's Ugh respectively. Ugh indeed.

You on computers and I ain't the type to write a blogger

Mozzy ft. E-Mozzy & Celly Ru - Love Slidn
(From Bladadah album; 2015)


Kudos to Rey for being the first person I ever saw post Mozzy's shit, and kudos to SE for being the first person to identify Love Slidn as 2015's most sensual piece of northern Californian mob music.

You know who gets the ultimate kudos tho? The first person to suss out where the Love Slidn saxophone sample comes from. Them toots sound lush enough to pass for a Bernard Herrmann Taxi Driver OST outtake but it'll probably transpire they come from a Herman's Hermits deep cut or some shit.

Fettle down part 2

The only thing better than finally hearing the properly mastered official version of Fetty Wap's RGF Island is hearing the aforementioned properly mastered official version of RGF Island still in its original form without an awkward rap verse bolted on midway through a la the 2nd now-official retail version of Trap Queen.

Fetty didn't f**k it up and now Lyor's cash can blow it up! Some ye olde ponce once opined that No Man Is An Island but ya boy is ready to turn up like the physical embodiment of Ibiza circa 1993 if Fetty's most euphoric song finally makes its way to the DJ sets of this country's most disgraceful franchise bars. Catch y'all in Revs 4 fridays from now?

Generic list post: back to the ice grillz again

Consider this post a retreat for those of us who aren't yet ready to join the ranks of the Conservative Rap Coalition but also never want to hear another rap song which sounds like Migos for the rest of our lives (Mystikal's pathetic Robert Dinero was my own personal point of no return.) This post's premise then: the ultimate playlist of great songs by painfully-unfashionable N.Y rappers last decade. F**k the Rotten Apple's heroes, we're over hear jamming Y@k Ballz, Postaboy, Loon, Goretex & Necro, Maino, Ron Browz, Consequence, Swizz Beatz and even Papoose!

Shyne - Commission (2000)
Blahzay Blahzay - Ice Grillz (2000)
Missin' Linx - What It Is (2000)
Y@k Ballz - HomePiss (2000)
Agallah - Let's Get High (2001)
J-Zone - Q&A (2001)
A-Bless - That's Bless (2001)
Party Arty - Show & Prove (2001)
G-Dep ft. Faith Evans - Everyday (remix) (2001)
Megalon - Rain Blood (2001)
Akinyele - Problems (2001)
Nighthawks - Cop Hell (2002)
Fuc That - Jon F. Hennessey (2002)
Postaboy - Let's Go (Jurassic Harlem) (2002)
The NYG'z - Giantz Ta This (2002)
Foxy Brown - Stylin' (2002)
Half-A-Mill - World Famous (2002)
Loon - This Ain't Funny (2003)
Sheek Louch ft. D-Block - Mighty D-Block (2 Guns Up) (2003)
Goretex ft. Necro - Dopesick (2003)
Tragedy Khadafi - Neva Die Alone Pt.2 (2003)
R.A The Rugged Man - How Low (2004)
Taj Mahaj ft. Un Kasa - Pull Ya Hawks Out (remix) (2004)
A-Mafia - Everywhere (2004)
Fabolous - Can't Let You Go (Just Blaze remix) (2004)
Blaq Poet - Bang This (2005)
Remy Ma - Lights, Camera, Action (2005)
Purple City - It Ain't Easy (2005)
Black Rob - Help Me Out (2005)
Saigon ft. Kool G. Rap - The Letter "P" (2005)
Maino - Rumors (2005)
Tony Yayo - Fake Love (2005)
Bo$$ Hog Babarians - You Got Mail (2006)
Riot Squad - Peep Game (2006)
Ron Browz - Jumping (Out The Window) (2007)
Swizz Beatz - Money In The Bank (2007)
Consequence - Job Song (2007)
AZie of MobStyle - The '80s (2007)
Jae Millz - Sober (2008)
Papoose ft. AZ - Knowledge Is Power (2008)
Big Noyd - Heartless (2008)
Uncle Murda - Anybody Can Get It (2008)
Red Cafe ft. Pete Rock - Heart And Soul Of New York City (2009)
Killa Sha - Night Shifting (2009)

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 13

One minute you're sitting in the bath browsing YouTube marveling at just how much music is on there to stream for free, the next you're cursing humanity because nobody has ever bothered to upload Pimp Olympic$ by Go-Rilla Pimps AKA J-Zone & Dick Stallion's bonus cut on 'Zone's Ign'ant mix CD. Audiomacked that shit as my good deed of the week. You're welcome, you're all welcome etc etc.

Go-Rilla Pimps - Pimp Olympic$
(From Ign'ant mixtape; 2003)


Top 3 best J-Zone song of all time, top 2 greatest Roy Ayers sample ever, and top 1 goofiest Blaxploitation character entrance scene in the history of cinema. If you wanna hear Pam Grier doing a faux-Jamaican accent which makes shorty from Little Mix sound like Spice then Coffy is the movie 4 u.

Lit but you know it

Drake linked me to Patman's Lit on Soundcloud t'other day askin' me what I thought of it. Naturally, any song that pitches down the Brenda Russell sample from Big Pun's Still Not A Player to accidentally sound like the Chicago swag-rap cousin of A-Wax's Yeah Right gets both thumbs up from me. Lo and behold Lit got the DGainz visual treatment yesterday and the video reminded me of an ancient proverb my Grampa told me on a day trip to Prestatyn when I was a sprog - life's a beach but that doesn't mean you should ever 2-step in sandals if there ain't no sand beneath your feet.

Patman - Lit
(From YouTube; 2015)


**Kay Slay voice** No Men's Feet When I'm Tryna Eat Volume 1 coming soon!

Even when I'm bloggin' I'm bein' sincere

From the House to the 'haus: LL and LeShaun performing Doin' It at the 1996 VMA's lookin' like a couple of fooken' goffs.


YouTube stays removing the video of LL performing Go Cut Creator Go on Saturday Night Live in 1987 with DJ Cut Creator & DJ Bobcat both rippin' the shit out of the decks, but Vimeo is like Tyson icin', a soldier at war. G.O.A.T TV performance or nah?