Surf dudes with attitude

"I'm close to the dealer like a gamblin' man
Sticks and drums, but I don't play in a band
Countin' all this money until it hurt my hand
You musta deserved it if my gun don't jam"

Ezale - Make Her Gig
(From Town Taxes album; 2025/YouTube; 2026)


First great Rap single of 2026 is the ninth and final song from from Ezale's Town Taxes album to be blessed with a video. Oakland went from Turf Buccaneers to Surf Buccaneers as Ezale hung ten toes down and caught a ride on Big Blue with the waviest choon of 2025. Ezale is one of the few rappers who makes entertaining sausage-fest videos, but you gotta appreciate him ending Town Taxes with a video where he's surrounded by eye-candy. Why do rappers always wanna fill their videos with blokes whose faces look mean like Halloween?

Related: I was optimistic about Max B & French Montana's Since U Left Me after I heard this snippet. The song just dropped and of course Max ruined it by using Auto-Tune. Oh, how the mighty has fallen off his surfboard and is drowning in terrible musical decisions. Rap's cosmetic dentistry curse strikes again.

Ice Cream Man back!

"I got a way with words
And it ain't for nerds
I just hit the gas on the offi-cers"

Ezale - How Much Dope
(From Town Taxes album; 2025)


R U Still Dru Down? Another new video for a song from Ezale's new album which will go platinum on my TV, laptop and tablet. Ezale's so full of Disco-power, there ain't a Got To Be Real cover version he can't devour. I grab my pencil, papers and pad, I listen to Ezale's music like it was my dad. Best of Ezale Audiomack playlist still available for your streaming pleasure.

We're All In The Same Yang

"Sauced up, bossed up
Just got a few dollars she coughed up
All in a bitch mouth like cough syrup
Can't help this the way I was brought up"

Ezale - On The Radar freestyle
(From P-Lo's For The Soil cypher for On The Radar; 2025)


A mere freestyle, but it's the first time Ezale has rhymed over a P-Lo production and it's a great fit like tighty-whities. I'm down for a proper Ezale & P-Lo collaboration, preferably an EP together like the LARussell & P-Lo EP where Ezale does the raps and P-Lo does the slaps.

Speaking of which, it's very weird to hear the word slap enter Britain's normie vernacular. Just last week I caught an episode of British soap-opera Coronation Street and one of the zoomer lads said "this curry slaps!" O rly? Nane 3 Mac Dre songs, m8.

Ain't no tellin' what the bitch will do, I was all on her face like barbecue (part 3)

Ezale - Hang Wit Them
(From Town Taxes album; 2025)


Ezale Duz It. And by Duz It I mean Ezale duz sausage-fest music videos better than 99% of other rappers. But then you already knew that if you've seen the videos for 5 Minutes Of Funktown and Foreal Foreal. Plz believe the spirit of REAL HIP-HOP™ is pulsating through this video's 4k pixels: dancin' in the street, gold teeth and Levi's jeans, gettin' chased by coppers and vintage motors. As for the song, it's that hella hyphy dirtbag Charlie Hustle mob music innit. Nobody in California Duz It better right now.

Slicker than a bipper on a rainy day

"Shooter and the driver at the end of the day
Because I had to learn both like it's MMA"

Ezale - Can U Blame Me
(From Town Taxes mini album; 2025)


The cool thing about this new Ezale mini album is that every song is a single - literally since he's shot videos for all nine songs. Ezale videos always draw a vivid picture but the industry makes it hard for him to shoot for the stars. MC Ez' put his daughter in Ezekiel's Bakery as his video co-star like she's Willow Smith. To all you rapper's offspring out there who wanna be on a record label where you're all in the videos cookin'... sweepin'... then go to Foreal Foreal Entertainment! Like I said before, Can U Blame Me is the most DJ Fresh soundin' ass song which wasn't actually produced by DJ Fresh. Pure ToNHTe Show-core which uses some 80s Boogie to recreate the warm glow of MDMA.

The one thing this Town Taxes MLP does lack is a heartfelt jam in the vein of In A Day. Ideally, it woulda been a tribute to Ezale's dearly-departed DJ/best M8 HawkBeatz.

Ain't no tellin' what the bitch will do, I was all on her face like barbecue (part 2)

Ezale - Hang Wit' Them
(From Town Taxes mini album; 2025)


Yeah, my best of Ezale playlist is cool, but how about Ezale droppin' a 9 song mini album which contains all his comeback singles plus some new songs? I've been waitin' on Hang Wit Them since last summer and this shit delivered the hella hyphy dirtbag Charlie Hustle vybz I was hoping for.

What are the chances this Ezale mini LP will get a physical release? When I say physical release, I mean a CD which costs less than £20, not some coloured raer vinylz LP which costs £60 and you only have a 12 minute window of opportunity to buy.

Born To Audiomack: Best of Ezale

~~ The Best of Ezale ~~

1. 5 Minutes of Funktown (2013)
2. Foreal Foreal (2014)
3. I'm On (2014)
4. Separate Ways ft. Kave (2014)
5. Too High (2014)
6. I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothing (2015)
7. We Out Here (2016)
8. Stop Come On (2016)
9. Day Ones (2016)
10. We Want Some Pussy (2016)
11. All It Takes (2016)
12. In A Day (2016)
13. Raised Like This (2021)
14. Ironic (2022)
15. Hotel Motel (2022)
16. Do It All Night (2024)
17. Fun (2024)



It's 2025 and I'm still here to rock you low and take you deeper than Jacques Cousteau. The music don't end if ya eyes don't close. So, here's a playlist so obvious I can't believe I haven't made it before: the Best of Ezale. You know the dilly: I call Ezale Jac Dre because he's the missing link between Jackie Chain and Mac Dre. He's the Pol Pot of the Pillionaire's Boys Club. He's what would happen if Drexl from True Romance took a holiday in Cambodia. He's #BringingThisTownShitBack by making new school shit for old school whips. He takes dummy long to drop music but it's always worth the wait. I'm postin', bloggin', don't plan on stoppin', tryna see if you patnas is down with Ezale's mobbin'.

Plz believe Teddy Jams woulda been included if Audiomack would let me upload it. That Guy sample ain't copyright friendly.

Ain't no tellin' what the bitch will do, I was all on her face like barbecue

I'm not happy unless I'm fiendin' for an Ezale song which only exists in snippet form, so this shit is Marty Python's latest holy grail. I'm still having a blast with Fun and Do It All Night, but good things come in threes like a certain John Landis movie. What's the odds on this actually dropping in 2024?

Bonus beats: Mac God Dbo's A Whole Brick is my pick for NorCal rando slap-tremendo of 2024 thus far. Will I ever like another song by that guy? Who knows, but I really like that song tho.

I do my routes more efficiently because I'm a beautiful and gorgeous delivery driver

Ezale - Fun
(From Fun single; 2024)


Why did the Funktown rapper switch careers from Ice Cream Man to FedEx Man? Because he didn't wanna work sundaes. Eh, I got 99 problems, but flakey jokes ain't 1.

Ezale's back like next year puttin' the fun into function musik with a single he originally teased two years ago. Naturally, it's another ToNHTe Show-core slap from Jac Dre AKA the missing link between Jackie Chain and Mac Dre. When that vocal sample hits I'm pullin' Thizz Faces like I just smelt my own piss after eatin' asparagus. I'm always moaning that Ezale doesn't drop enough music, but all 5 of his comeback singles have been hot like Kampot Pepper Crab, and I'll always prefer rappers who drop a hot single and then dip to rappers who stink the Rap landscape up releasing 337 brainfart freestyle tracks every 365 days. When I say Ezale is the Rap equivalent of Drexl from True Romance I ain't just talkin' about their shared penchant for dreadlocks and droppin' n-bombs, boiiiiii - I'm talkin' their maximum impact via minimum appearance-time.

Mobby-Dick (part 3)

"I can't listen to the law, I'm disobedient
'Cause shakin' 5.0 gettin' tedious
I'm a pro, bitch, this ain't intermediate
'Cause MDMA was the ingredient"

Ezale - Do It All Night
(From Do It All Night single; 2024)


We talked Ezale's new single when the visualiser clip dropped, but that shit is gettin' another post because the Pot Pot of The Pillionaire's Boys Club's songs always pop hardest with proper videos. We got son lookin' wired, we got wenches lookin' sultry, and we got posters of The Mack and the 2Pac, E-40 & Boots Riley picture on the walls. For the life of me tho, I can't work out which James Belushi flick is playing on the TV? Movie guys, pick up the slap-phone and dial M for Martorialist.

Eleven years on, somebody needs to convince Ezale to record a 5 Minutes Of Funktown sequel. Crazy visionz, BOOM: these are the 5 beats it'd jack:

Whodini - Magic's Wand (1982)
Vicky D - This Beat Is Mine (1981)
Dru Down - Pimp Of The Year (1993)
Ago - Stop Your Life (1982)
Digital Underground ft. 2Pac - Same Song (1991)

Fun fact: when you search for Ago's Stop Your Life on YouTube it takes you to a special suicide prevention page. Here at The Martorialist we say DON'T DO IT like Big Fun.

Mobby-Dick (part 2)

"I'm percin', swervin', da rollas is lurkin'
They find the drugs on me then fa sho it's curtains
I'm poppin', choppin', don't plan on stoppin'
Tryna see if her patnas is down with this mobbin'"

Ezale - Do It All Night
(From Do It All Night single; 2024)


You KNOW ya host Captain ACAB has been in pursuit of this killa whale of a song. In fact, you could say that these Ezale comeback singles are the Martorialist equivalent of "Event Rap". Do It All Night is a refreak of a Click classique which Ezale has had his wicked way with in the Drug Funnie stylee. It's inevitable he'll drop a deuce at some point, but, for now, all 4 of Ezale's comeback singles are thee shit: Raised Like This, Ironic, Hotel Motel and this one. A mere visualiser, this clip is still far more creative and watchable than yer average modern day Rap video innit?