On my worst day you couldn't even sit next to me, respectfully!

"Bitch, I'm tryna break that n*gga pockets, break a n*gga pockets
I'm tryna break a n*gga pockets, break the n*gga pocket
Ain't got no cash, can't get no ass, that's just how we rockin'
Don't want no feelings or no dealings if you can't take me shoppin'
Bitch, I'm tryna break that n*gga pockets, break a n*gga pockets
I'm tryna break a n*gga pockets, break the n*gga pocket
Me and my guhs want the plug, we ain't talkin' sockets
Who got the p's, not the ones who don't make no profits"

Day Day Sustaaa - B.A.N.P
(From B.A.N.P single; 2022)


Here at The Martorialist we've been feelin' Da Ladeez talkin' flagrantly on tracks this month, so here's an insanely 'ard Baton Rouge song to go with Lebra Jolie's What Kinda and Gloss Up & GloRilla's Best Frenn. Sisters on that back like a bra strap or wot? Turns out this Day Day Sustaaa lass already has an internet-hit with a C-Murder beatjack, so fingers crossed the TikTok massive work their viral magic with B.A.N.P too. Sharing is caring.

Sorta late pass: Coi blimey

Coi Leray - Players
(From Players single; 2022)


Ladies - rub on ya titties if you love Real Hip-Hop! The Message is truly timeless because Duke Bootee created a hot track which makes each successive generation melt like hot wax. Coi Leray's Players is the exact sort of nostalgia-bait pop-Rap I can't resist, the exact sort of nostalgia-bait pop-Rap I wanna hear when I'm out drinking in a generic high street bar, the exact sort of nostalgia-bait pop-Rap I hope inspires JayQuan to drop his full 40th anniversary of The Message documentar.

I play with the stick, violin

"Bottles of Champagne, some shots, a few beers
I treat my dogs better than white people do theirs
I'm in a drop like a tear
But the engine sound like a pick-up
My roof can do a sit up
These hoes come outta nowhere like the hiccups"

Bruiser Wolf - Chess Move$
(From Dope Game $tupid album; 2021)


Hat tip to Fred for recommending this Bruiser Wolf album. So, Wolf is Danny Brown's sidekick and his musical M.O is that he's Suga Free in a Carhartt Duck chore jacket rather than a Cavalli 3/4 length Mink coat? I can dig that like Ben Byron's dog. It's a cold world and we could all do with more rappers bearing warm clobber. Gotta appreciate the #OutfitSynergy of Bruiser wearing a Superstar tracksuit in a song where he says "sold more white lines than Adidas." Pity the Superstar trackies have been shitty quality since 2017 when Adidas switched to cheaper materials and added the stupid white piping from the armpit to the collar. Holla if ya hear me, AthleisurewearHive.

Also very necessary is Bruiser's tragicom song about his mum being a baghead. Tears of sadness and laughter at the SAME DAMN TIME like the end of Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

"Pushed me outta the womb and left me when I was two
No first days at school or watchin' me jump the broom
I was ashamed when people asked me what Momma do
So I made up somethin' crazy like 'yeah, she work at the zoo!'
Can't trust women 'cause I couldn't trust you"

Bruiser Wolf ft. Apropos - Momma Was A Dopefiend
(From Dope Game $tupid album; 2021)


"I am you, but I ain't you
You left my dad bitter like grapefruit"

Slowthai is not a Northamptoner of the Dom Passantino caliber

Pa Salieu ft. Slowthai - Glidin'
(From Glidin' single; 2021)


Lads, blokes, countrymen - please tell me I ain't the only person who secretly likes Pa Salieu's song with Slowthai? Obviously Slowthai is utterly unacceptable on any/every level and the song is pure Alexis Petridis' Guardian single of the week-bait, yet Glidin' is still the best Roadraprobeats single of 2021 so far.

Beggars can't be choosers now J Hus has taken a hiatus from music ¯\_㋡_/¯

Previously: the lost tribe of Salieu.

Mostly Tha Voice: The Next Level

"I guess we had the right song with the wrong key
Why every time I try to tell you go that you don't leave?
I guess we had the right coat with the wrong sleeves
Even though this shit comin' out my throat It's beeeeyond meeeee"

Reese Youngn - Warrior
(From Warrior single; 2021)


Damn - that lad who went viral for soundin' like Rich Homie Quan gargling with magma on his No More Parties In L.A remix is actually kinda sick huh? Give Warrior to anyone else and it'd be some standard MOR Spotify-core; give it to Reese Youngn to howl fire & brimstone into it and Warrior becomes the molten sound at the core of a man's soul (or sumfink lol.) Basically, it's mostly tha voice which makes this one hit different.

#P-LoHive reprise

P-Lo - Walked In
(From Yours EP; 2021)


Walked in and shit got spooky the way this one has grown on me. It's definitely the most P-Lo Type Beat™ of his last four singles, but in a Hella good way. For best results use Walked In as the B-Side to Yours - an Oakland Yin & Yang combination of sweet romancing & dumb dancing which Shock G would be proud of.

Previously: #P-LoHive.

♫ I'm gon' send him to outta space to find another race ♫

Vybz Kartel - Yami Bolo
(From Yami Bolo single; 2020)

Vybz Kartel · Yami Bolo

The paradox of Vybz Kartel is that the Worl' Boss™ often sounds like he's from another planet: he's spent the past 7 years rotting inside a jailcell in Jamaica yet he's still sneakily recording new songs which sound like alien transmissions from Jupiter. If that reads like swanky-arse hyperbole to you it's only because this song sounds like a space-age riddim to me innit.

Hat tip to Dank for hippin' me to this one.

Just The Two Of Us

"If you give me less than 5 for a feature you gettin' a lazy verse
My n*gga Hell gave me what I want, I gave him a Slim Shady verse
12 racks for the Cuban, you n*ggas act stupid
Bitch, I ain't lookin' for no love, I'll whack Cupid"

Hellboy Rodd ft. Rio Da Yung OG - Talk Yo Shit
(From YouTube; 2020)


Top 5 reasons why this is ya host's favourite Rio Da Yung OG double-act track since Movie: cognisance of each other's presence on the song, genuine chemistry between both rappers, the impression that neither artist is just spittin' the first thing to spring to mind during their first take, none of Rio's gross rhymes about sex, a beat which slaps like bacon on a biscuit.

Can't believe I posted this one before Pink Chardonnay.

Slangin' humble pie and Stella pints in the same sentence

M1llionz - B1llionz
(From B1llionz single; 2020)



FFS can't believe I enjoy a U.K Drill song by some breh afflicted with the dreaded kid's TV presenter voice which runs rampant in the sub-genre. Tbf, M1llionz's Brummoi accent does have chutzpah and the B1llionz beat conjures up images of green grass rather than grey pavements. Not arf bad for a miserable style of music I usually can not stand.

Maybe I'm buggin' but the flow/beat combo here kinda make me think of a midlands Jacka. Midlands Jacka: a phrase I never expected to type lolz.