Dunngeon Master

**Sherm The Worm voice** Get the fuck back in the car, Lil' TerRio! Rap's numero uno Little Big Man of the moment is back:

"Outta space in my own lane"

Lil' Chris - What Money Do
(From t'internet; 2014)


Between Keep Your Head Up, 2 Fake, and this latest single I'm now officially anticipating what Lil' Chris' next mixtape has to offer. Dude's camp really need to sort his digi-retail game out, though, because I've had to sift through tons of songs by British Lil' Chris and Thizz Latin Lil' Chris everytime I've checked the Amazon MP3 store to see what songs he has up for sale.

UK heads: take note of who produced this track and then insert your own Marcel Desailly joke here ~~~> ____________

Generic list post: may 2014

Obligatory round-up post. This month I 'ave mostly been listening to rap songs from California and Atlanta, and watching that new Mark Williams quiz The Link on iPlayer.

Vic Mensa - Down On My Luck (2014)
Show Banga ft. Sage The Gemini - I Been That (2014)
Husalah - Hustlin' Ass (2002)
Soulja Boy - Wassup (2014)
Nicki Minaj & Soulja Boy - Yasss Bish!! (2014)
T.I. ft. Young Thug - About The Money (2014)
Ola Playa ft. Young Thug - Don't Move (2014)
MPA Shitro Sanchez - Justin Bieber (2014)
Lil' Debbie - $lot Machine (2014)
Spitta - Halfway (2014)
Ben J - Save It For The Birds (2014)
Slim Thug ft. Z-Ro & Paul Wall - Pokin' Out (2014)
RJ - Ride Wit' Me (2013)
Cousin Fik - An I Pull Heauxs (2014)
Selfmade ft. Street Knowledge - Stupid Clean (2014)
A-Wax - Jetsons (2014)
The 99 Per Cent - Slow Down, Hold On (2012)
Yung Monk & Fat Savage - iPhone (2014)
Hurricane Chris ft. Lil' Boosie - Ratchet remix (2014)
Young L - DUNDIDIT (2014)

Could REALLY go for a new AZ song in june because We Movin' sounded so good last summer and I don't trust any other NY rapper to come through with anything suitable in 2014.

Previously: january, february, march, april.

65 g'z in das Spacely Space Sprockets briefcase

"Shout outs to my brother still behind them bars
By the time he's home we'll be in flying cars
By the time he's home as a parolee
We'll have a robotic maid we call Rosie
Like The Jetsons? Like The Jetsons!
Like The Jetsons? Like The Jetsons!
Like The Jetsons? Like The Jetsons!
Like The Jetsons? Whatchu want, come get some!"

A-Wax - Jetsons
(From the internet; 2014)


A-Wax comes with a fresh take on Jeezy's "won't be back until them damn Buck Rogers years" line from Trap N*ggaz over a Bobby Johnson blap with low-end that'd turn George's spacewhip into an air-pocket of reverb. Bobby Johnson's Kraut grampa probably bombed my nan's chippy during would war 2, but he sure knows how to make beats which go BOM BOM BOM on the autobahn.

Generic list post: album cuts that should have been singles

Not album cuts I wish had come out as 12" singles as a few of these songs actually did, but album cuts that I wish were singles so they could have been hits that all my friends who only listen to rap casually would know during our post-pub afterparties, and album cuts that I wish had been singles so they could have been blessed with videos featuring facial expressions/rap-hands/dance moves/outfits/video-chix/weed carriers & neighbourhood goons milling around in the background that would have forever altered how ya boy has engaged with them.

Bailey - Fuck Yo' Couch (2006)
Schoolly D - Gangster Boogie (1989)
T.I. - Cruisin' (2012)
Egyptian Lover - I Cry (Night After Night) (1984)
Lil' Kim - Dreams (1996)
Husalah - Live Life Illegal (2006)
Stezo - Girl Trouble (1989)
Lil' Slim - Neighborhood Terror (1995)
Camp Lo - Material (2007)
D4L - Diggin' Me (2005)
Slick Rick - Bond (1991)
UGK - Pinky Ring (1996)
DJ Upgrade ft. Rico Tha Kidd - Hey Girl (2012)
AZ - The Payback (1998)
Trina ft. Money Mark - Nasty Bitch (2002)
Skinny Boys - Rip The Cut (1986)
Dungeon Family - Follow The Light (2001)
Lil' Boosie ft. Mouse On Tha Track & Shell - Cartoon (2010)
The Beatnuts - Give Me Tha Ass (1997)

Real n*gga in the mirror, no question, you look in the mirror and see a hoe reflection

Cousin Fik - An I Pull Heauxs
(From Sickest N*gga Healthy 2 mixtape; 2014)


Shades of Richie Rich's eviscerating outro monologue on Bitch N*ggas by The Delinquents with this slap from the new Cousin Fik mixtape. Beat on this one sounds like a robotic Daffy Duck trying to replicate Slim Thug saying "Wamp Wamp".

I feel like Bol

Even New Boyz members got knockin' solo tracks in 2014, huh? Thank you, Ratchet gawdz:

Ben J - Save It For The Birds
(From Save It For The Birds single; 2014)


Theory of the day: Ratchet is destined to end up as the eminent trnd of this decade because it's a sound that can make damn near anyone listenable. Doesn't matter if you're a creepy Canadian soap actor, the world's most punchable man, a Chris Brown back-up dancer, an Australian glamour model, a former Game weed carrier with very dubious song concepts, a long washed-up one hit wonder, or White Girl Mob's least talented member because all you have to do is hop over a beat by/which sounds like its by Ratchet's holy trinity of DJ Mustard/HBK Gang/League Of Starz and, et voila, you have a certified slap on your hands.

Lil' Debbie - $lot Machine
(From California Sweetheart EP; 2014)


A certified slap is a certified slap and all, but $lot Machine got me feelin' like South Park Maxican over here. It's ya boy Stuart Hall Of Game aka Dave Lee Travis Porter??

It ain't no fun if the homies can't blog none

Quick head's up: check out Step One aka Jack The Snipper talkin' about his favourite Westwood freestyles over on..... Nah Right! We all up in America like Frank Lampard & Rio Ferdinand next season, bruv!

Still waitin' for someone to upload the episode of Westwood's early '00s TV show on UK Play where he was hangin' out in Lefrak with CNN, btw.

She text me say "I know you see me callin' you!"

Yung Monk & Fat Savage - iPhone
(From the internet; 2014)


File this under ‘the best song to sample an iPhone's ringtone since T-Pain & Big K.R.I.T's Going Off’ and ‘shoulda bought a SAMSUNG instead, mate’.

Watch my skeet

Watch My Feet is a classic like Right Thurr by Chingy, ya girl didn't like anything else from Dude N Nem's CD, how long has she been gay? As treatises on romantic dining go, McDonalds isn't exactly "up in China eatin' egg-a-rolls" with your boo, but it's the thought wot counts in affairs of the heart and matters of the stomach, innit?

"Girl, you deserve the best in life
So tonight I'm gonna treat you right
Girl, I hope you have an appetite
'Cause we're goin' to McDonalds"

Dude 'n Nem - McDonalds
(From Tinted Incubators album; 2009)


As someone who hasn't eaten at J.D's spot since last century, ya boy Nae-Naeomi Zeichner right chea would still gladly take a happy meal in a quiet corner over a trip to some mid-tier retail park shithole like Frankie & Benny's or Hungry Horse where you'll wait over 40 minutes for your food and then get served with piece of Werner Herzog's boiled shoe masquerading as a 12oz rump steak.

U.K headz - what's the worst franchise eatery in this country?

Generic list post: why America kicked Yeltsin Beyonce out edition

Word around town, these are the real reasons why Mos Def isn't allowed to step foot on U.S soil again:

1. Because of his unholy singing at the beginning of KanYe's Drunk And Hot Girls.

2. Because even Kweli's milquetoast ass sounded better rapping over KanYe production than him.

3. Because nothing quite kills a classic rap song stone dead like Mos Death doing a freestyle over it.

4. Because he had the cojones to record a freestyle over N*ggas In Paris about the evils of capitalism when he walks around in $5000 Visvim outfits.

5. Because he built his entire career off subliminally-zinging Puffy/Bad Boy and Jay Camel/Roc-A-Fella, and then began backpeddling like a motherfucker once the indie-rap bubble began to leak air.

6. Because he ruined Rich Homie Quan's Man Of The Year for me when I noticed the similarities between RHQ's vocalising and Yeltsin Beyonce's dibba-dabba-dinosaur sanging on the worst song in the history of recorded music.

7. Because Obama didn't like the idea of his proposed album with Mannie Fresh when Dee-1 has already wasted enough Mannie beats which should have gone to Mystikal or Juvenile.

Generic list post: 2014 rap songs so far edition

Before we get down to business here's two questions I've always wanted answered: is that yung Berner in the car with Yukmouth in Mac Dre's Ghetto Celebrities DVD and, if so, why was his yung Westwood lookin' ass moustache thicker then than it is now he's an adult?

Anyhoo, here's a generic list post of the rap songs I've been feelin' thus far this year. There's a few 2013 tracks in there too since they came out very late last year/were virtually unknown until they received videos this year/only caught my attention recently. As ever, no order of preference and one song per artiste:

Ezale - Foreal Foreal
K Camp - Oh No
Wiz Khalifa - We Dem Boyz
Agallah ft. Roc Marciano - Blaze Of Glory
Sage The Gemini - Bad Girls
Show Banga ft. Sage The Gemini - I Been That
ZMoney - Dope Boy Magic
Ampichino - The Eulogy
YG ft. Kendrick Lamar - Really Be (Smokin' N Drinkin')
Speaker Knockerz - Erica Kane
Chinx Drugz - Tell 'Em
French Montana ft. Jadakiss - '88 Coupes
Doe B ft. T.I. - WHY
King Los - Woke Up Like This
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX - Fancy
TREE - Probably Nu It
5th Ward Weebie - Let Me Find Out Part 1
Young Lox - Legion Of Doom
Mic Terror ft. DJ Gant-Man - Get Off My Dick
Soulja Boy - Wassup
DB Tha General - Motel6 Intro (Phantasm)
Smoke DZA & 183rd - Flair For The Gold
Lil' Chris - Keep Your Head Up
Nicki Minaj ft. PTAF - Boss Ass Bitch remix
Young Money - Senile
Selfmade ft. Street Knowledge - Stupid Clean
DJ Kay Slay ft. Sheek Louch, Styles P & Uncle Murda - When We Ride
Migos ft. Young Thug - YRN
Young Thug - Ew
Ola Playa ft. YSL aka Young Thug - Don't Move
MPA Shitro Sanchez - Justin Bieber
PeeWee Longway & Quez of Travis Porter - Use Me
Travis Porter - Geekin'
Giftz - Movie
Mouse On Tha Track - I Mean That
Lil' Boosie, Foxx & Webbie - Pray For Me
Hurricane Chris ft. Lil' Boosie - Ratchet remix
D-Lo - Choppa Dance
JuJu ft. Tragedy Khadafi - Thriller
Max Minelli - Share My Drugs
Kevin Gates - Movie
Point Blank Fam ft. Kevin Gates - Rollercoaster
S.B.E - I Feel Like
Sen City - Cloud Surfin'
Lil' Durk ft. MeetSims - Money And Power
Snootie Wild ft. K Camp - Made Me
Fred The Godson - Quarter Past Three
Vic Mensa - Down On My Luck
J Stalin ft. Too $hort - Fuk That
Project Pat ft. Juicy J & Doe B - Never Be A G remix
Future - I Be U
The 99 Percent - Double Dip
Zilla ft. Young Dolph - Yeen Said Nothin'
SMKA ft. Rittz, Jackie Chain, Scotty ATL & RaRa - Pimpin' Mane remix
Stitches - Brick In Yo' Face

I'm also a fan of Clyde Carson's No Sleep but it bothers me tremendously that he finishes the song with a stanza that doesn't even rhyme.

Shout outs to anybody who thought the cop in Bad Neighbours looked like a 30-something Young Ready

I found another good Young Ready solo song! Pre-Tha Camp Young Ready at that, which I didn't even know existed. This is about as cheap 'n' nasty as Baton Rogue rap gets even if the beat does bear a strong resemblance to a track by America's answer to Admiral Crumple:

"Blaze told ya don't try to play us like no youngsters
Our pockets they overflowin' like project dumpsters
We munsters, we mobsters, our dollars to the ceiling, brah
You bet it, you gon' lose it, so you better getcha dollars up"

Young Ready - Put Yo' Money Down
(From Grind Tyme Entertainment's Junkie Medicine compilation; 2006)



Came across this one when checking out some compilation FrankieThaLuckyDog mentions in his 10 year tribute video to Baton Rogue's answer to Subroc/Bloodshed/him from Sporty Thieves who died saving a toddler from an oncoming car AKA Handy. Frankie toils away in obscurity on some Matthew Africa X Nardwuar X Henry Chalfant-level of greatness whilst Anthony Fantano gets onto MTV with his #problematic alias persona. Damn, AmeriKKKa, you did Frankie dirty.

Remember when Pharrell's "Italian heartthrobs could not get rid of me" line from Mr. Me Too made XXL Mag's Step Your Rhymes Up column?

Just last week I was out in Choibalsan, me and 2$hin hoppin' off the plane holdin' keys like Mungonzazal Janshindulam. Week before that I was out in Kentucky, CRASH DDZ could not get rid of me.

Gonna officially Mr. Me Too that joint with the ghostriding accident Rey posted because my 128kbps YouTube rip of it sounded so damn good this past first weekend of summer. If there was a 2014 Sacramento X Bay Area sequel to DJ Mustard's Let's Jerk compilation then Stupid Clean would be the album's Fresh & Filthy correlative:

"Gassin' on you rappers, man, you n*ggas gettin' car sick
Cloud nine but I'm higher than a Martian
Call me Aladdin, n*gga, 'cause I'm flyer than that carpet
Lil' too sick, man, I got these n*ggas barfin'"

Selfmade ft. Street Knowledge - Stupid Clean
(From YouTube; 2014)


Selfmade and Street Knowledge's other song together Bounce That also sounds like it belongs on a Sacramento X Bay Area Bizarro World DJ Mustard album, but in this instance the album in question is Ketchup and the song's analogue is its namesake.

Reasons why I love YouTube: You've Been Maimed edition

Never forget the GHOST RIDE THE WHIP (totally sweet) video is now 8 years old! Moral of the story? Anything Brian Harvey could do, America could do one better:


Shout outs to Rey for posting a 2014 Bay deep cut which proves that ghostriding accidents are still commonplace in Oakland. Speaking of 2014 Bay deep cuts, this new joint by Chip$ & Nikatine from the NhT Boyz I just noticed in my Thizzler feed is a well-timed reminder that Chip$ is one of the only rappers who's ever made the #Hashtag flow sound appealing:

TK ft. Chip$ Black & Nikatine - My Bitch
(From Thizzler; 2014)

DEV AlaHaan AKA Just sayin', bruv 8.5

Can't even lie to youze people - not only did DEV's Kiss It play a far bigger role in making me a Sage The Gemini fan than Gas Pedal ever did, it's also my favourite Hit-Boy production to date because he didn't feel the need to switch the beat up in the final third like he usually does on everyone else's singles:

DEV ft. Sage The Gemini - Kiss It
(From YouTube; 2014)


Important questions: why is the chick from The Cataracs making better Lil' Debbie singles than Lil' Debbie thus far? Why isn't Kiss It a global pop hit now it has a video?

Generic list post: Fake Neptunes edition

Question of the day: which rap blogger once posted a picture of Pharrell & A Bathing Ape's (former) owner Nigo and billed it as Pharrell Williams & Chad Hugo? Whilst your mulling the answer over, take a gander at this generic list of Pharrell & Chad knock-offs that knock way harder than Sean Price's Fake Neptune. Alternative post title: thank you Mario Winans and XL, you very competent hacks.

Yukmouth - Stuntastic (2003)
Black Rob ft. Lil' Kim - Espacio (2000)
Black Rob ft. Diddy - Knock 'Em Out (2005)
Loon ft. Kelis - How You Want That? (2003)
504 Boyz - Get Back (2002)
Curren$y - Hotspitta (2003?)
Curren$y - Scared Of Monstas (2009)
Max B ft. Jim Jones & Mel Matrix - Sour Diesel (2006)
Foxy Brown - Stylin' (2002)
E-40 ft. The Clipse - Quarterbackin' (2003)
Turf Talk ft. Ya Boy & Bailey - Sav Out (2004)
Benzino - Rock The Party (2003)
Pusha-T ft. Kelly Rowland - Let Me Love You (2013)
Mac Dre - That's Wusup (2004)
Mac Dre & Mac Mall ft. Rydah J. Klyde - Giggin' (2005)

Feel like Jermaine Dupri had at least one great Neptunes rip-off beat too but I'll be damned if I can remember its title and/or benefactor at the moment.

Cam'Ron_Shrugging.JPG

Cam'Ron & A-Trak ft. Juelz Santana & Just Blaze - Dipshits
(From the internet; 2014)


Not feelin' this at all. At best, it's what someone who discovered Dipset via Pitchfork's review of Purple Haze thinks a Come Home With Me deep cut would've sounded like. At worst, it's the rap game Grudge Match.

Until Cam makes some more songs with Sen City, I'm going to pretend he's currently on a hiatus from rap.

Crime Mob meets Crass

"I'ma make your body jerk like you heard some Crunk music
I'm dressed in all black like I make Punk music"

Spitta - Halfway
(From Boyz N Tha Rogue mixtape; 2014)


Trans-genre raps from that Baton Rogue rapper who had a great song about gettin' legged by the bizzies with Young Ready last year. ANU called Spitta "the Baton Rogue version of Styles P", which is a very valid comparison given that his gloating and warnings have the same Zen-like quality as Styles' rhymes. But there's also a blunt minimalism to Spitta's bars that's reminiscent of the poetry of Melachi The Nutcracker on Group Home's Livin' Proof album, and please believe that's a compliment because Melachi might be rap's greatest self-editor of all time. Who else could speak volumes with so few words?

Soulja Boy = half Percy Miller, half Pharrell Williams

Has Soulja Boy just dropped his one customary great song per annum and the 2014 Picture Me Rollin' in one loosie?



"That's how I feel, I just did a deal for 6 mill'! N*gga, wassup?
It give me chills, man, is this shit for real, man? 6 mill'? N*gga, wassup?"

Soulja Boy - Wassup
(From King Soulja Boy mixtape; 2014)


Nobody raps about making and spending money with as much glee as Prince Soulja. Also, he got the look and the hook, plus he made the beat and he wrote the book.

Generic list post: Babygrande edition

Been did Koch, so this is the inevitable post where I attempt to persuade you that there are ten different certified deep cuts from ten different artists on ten different Babygrande releases. Yes, really.

Granted, it's not an easy task to find ten good songs on a label that's released multiple albums by Jedi Mind Tricks, 7L & Esoteric, Immortal Technique, Jean Grae, and The Snowgoons, but it is doable. Bear witness and please notice that I didn't even have to include the two minor-classic singles in the label's catalogue - Purple City Byrdgang and New York Ryder Music - to come up with this list of ten Babygrande bangers:

Grand Puba ft. Tiffini Davis - It Is What It Is (2009)
Brand Nubian - Momma (2004)
N.O.R.E - Cocaine Cowboys (2007)
Agallah - Club Hoppin' (2006)
Purple City - It Ain't Easy (2005)
Un Kasa ft. Max B & Jim Jones - Nick Nack (2006)
Dame Grease ft. French Montana & Max B - Goon Musik (We Run NY) (2008)
Canibus - Spartibus (2003)
Gillie Da Kid ft. Dutch & Spade - Ghetto That I Live In (2007)
Freeway - No Doubt (2012)

Remember when Babygrande's CEO Chuck Wilson got caught out trying to drum up hype for JMT's albums on various rap message boards under the alias of JEDI MIND TRICKS FAN back in the early noughties? At least he took his humiliation like a man when he was exposed unlike so many other sock-puppeting industry folk back then - I'm talkin' to you, DJ Vlad and Immortal Technique!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"And her cousin real bad, she petite-thick
But her breath smell like she been eatin' shit
I need to look in the mirror, I'm sorry
5 different baby mommas, (I) should be on Maury"

Hurricane Chris ft. Lil' Boosie - Ratchet remix
(From t'internet; 2014)


I was blissfully unaware of Hurricane Chris' Ratchet until the remix with Boosie popped up on DGB this morning, and the song's existence might explain why Sage The Gemini was so pissed off with Mustard in Fader's interview with HBK Gang since its beat bears a passing resemblance to Sage's own Mack Down, dunnit?

Baton Rogue rappers gettin' all intimate with west coast Ratchet producers is an interesting proposition, but until it yields better results than this then I much prefer when Baton Rogue rap folk try their hand at West Coast Ratchet production and manage to come up with something that's entirely more locale-specific to their own needs, as best evidenced on Mouse On Tha Track's Millionaire Dreamzzz sleeper cut Like Ya Momma Showed Ya: a song which really should have soundtracked as many social media twerking videos as Gas Pedal.

*EDIT* After field-testing the Ratchet remix I've now decided that it's actually great. Disregard everything in this post other than the bit about Mustard possibly biting Sage's Mack Down and the bit about Mouse's Like Ya Momma Showed Ya being the best social media twerk video soundtrack that never was.

Your ferry across the Mersey is about to sink

Subtitle: N.W.A >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Y.N.W.A.

Thought I'd throw the MP3s of those Point Blank Fam songs with Mouse and Kevin Gates up for your downloading pleasure before this glorious afternoon of football starts.

Point Blank Fam ft. Mouse On Tha Track - G-Step
(From the internet; 2012)



Point Blank Fam ft. Kevin Gates - Rollercoaster
(From Boo Milton's 2 Sides, 1 Story mixtape; 2013)



(Probably not that glorious in reality, tbh; Citeh winning instead of the Bindippers is like choosing between ebola or the black plague.)

Reasons why Westwood is the G.O.A.T part 23457

Because he just randomly played FM$ by the New Boyz!

New Boyz - FM$
(From FM$ single; 2012)


If you're British and you don't listen to the first hour of Westwood's show to get you amped up before you hit the town on a saturday night, plz click that red X in the top right corner and never read this site again.

Reasons why I love YouTube # 56

Because I've just noticed someone has uploaded the full video for Egyptian Lover's Freak-A-Holic! T'was the 3:12 single edit that'd been hanging out on the 'Tube for the previous 6 years, so the 4:33 album version's video turning up on there in all its uncut glory with over a minute's worth of extra footage is our generation's equivalent of that time them Israeli fellas discovered the dead sea scrolls in a cave:

Egyptian Lover - Freak-A-Holic
(From One Track Mind album; 1986)


Egyptian Lover's Moroccan cab driver working in Paris swag is still unrivaled, as are the crotch-grindin' skillz of the video freak who looks like a young Vanessa Del Rio with a Diana Ross perm. Until the day I find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, the Freak-A-Holic video is officially 8th wonder of the world status.

Bonus generic list beats: the best rap/rap-related songs with a variation of the word Freak in their title.

1. Egyptian Lover - Freak-A-Holic (1986)
2. Special Ed - Freaky Flow (DJ Premier remix) (1996)
3. Sexual Harassment - I Need A Freak (1982)
4. Too $hort - Freaky Tales (1987)
5. Digital Underground - Freaks Of The Industry (1990)
6. Lil' Vicious ft. Doug E. Fresh - Freaks (1994)
7. Speaker Knockerz - Freak Hoe (2013)
8. Missy Elliot - Get Ur Freak On (2001)
9. Jodeci ft. Raekwon & Ghostface - Freek'n You remix (1996)
10. Lil' Boosie - Freak A Leek freestyle (2004)
11. Nicki Minaj & Lil' Kim ft. Gucci Mane - Freaky Gurl remix (2008)
12. Black Sheep ft. Chi Ali - Freak Y'All (1994)
13. Whodini - Freaks Come Out At Night (1984)
14. New Boyz - FM$ (Freak My $hit) (2012)

Ryan Hemsworthless

Maybe it's the Lakim Shabazz outfit or maybe I just wanna point out that Lil' Pain has no IRL fans again and again, but this new Young L single is soundin' like the first good Cloud-Rap song since 2010. DUNDIDIT makes me feel emotions I didn't know I could possibly experience on a wet thursday morning, though I fear the song may have a short shelf life because I'll never be able to enjoy it again once Paul Lester or Anthony Fantano or Brendan Soderberg inevitably end up comparing it to that My Bloody Valentine album and/or that Tricky album which was utter shit other than the song with the Isaac Hayes sample:

Young L - DUNDIDIT
(From the internet; 2014)

Soundin' like Mr Bloggy

"‘Don't Stop Movin'?’, I stop every time I 'ear your music
How the fuck'd you get caught like that?
Cannabis? More like smokin' crack"

Oxide & Neutrino ft. various So Solid members - Rap Dis
(From the Rap Dis (U Can't Stop Dis Sh*t) single; 2001)


Anybody else ever hear the rumour that Farrakhan and J. Prince had to be called in to squash the beef between Neutrino and Bradley McIntosh from S Club 7? Never forget that the original "too cold" version of Rap Dis featured a different Neutrino verse where he called Bradley a "coconut", libeled George Michael when insinuating that The Dreem Team were poofs, and threatened to break into Miquita Oliver's house, strip her naked, and rob her at gunpoint before his record label forced him to re-record the lyrics.

This Amazon UK review of the Rap Dis CD single = Da Capo best music writing of 2001:

Skepta can't dance like me, Treal Lee can't dance like me

Not everyone could master the Rolex Sweep or the Mr Hit Dat Hoe, but even a bandy-legged twerp like me could G-Step it up in a high school corridor (no Thomas Hamilton):

"They love the way I do it, I lose it when I hear music
Our haters lookin' all foolish, while I'm surrounded by cougars"

Point Blank Fam ft. Mouse On Tha Track - G-Step
(From the internet; 2012/YouTube 2014)


File this one under ‘very fun Baton Rogue dance records featuring Mouse I first heard via FrankieThaLuckyDog that've just been blessed with videos’, ‘Baton Rogue rap songs that are apparently very popular with the young folk there’ and ‘Baton Rogue rap groups who also have a another pretty good song with Kevin Gates.’

Uncle Ice's Jamms

One of my favourite things in rap right now is minimal west coast Ratchet rap that's the modern descendant of old Ice-T tracks like Killers, Squeeze The Trigger and Drama. See: When I Was Gone YG & his pals, No Sleep by Clyde Carson, and this new cut by Show Banga & Sage The Gemini that's arguably Showie's best song since Party Ain't A Party:

"I'm that motherfucker, you can ask ya mom
I always get played like a CD-ROM"

Show Banga ft. Sage The Gemini - I Been That
(From I Been That single; 2014)



This will also work as a perfect segueway between No Sleep and The 99 Per Cent's Double Dip when I finally get around to making a west coast Ratchet 2013/2014 playlist on Spotify. Speakin' of songs from the Yike 4 Life compilation and Show Banga & Sage The Gemini, why am I still waiting for somebody on t'net to edit Dmac's verse out of Panoramic? No offence, Dmac m8, but the "HEY MOM I'M ON A RAP SONG!!" goofiness of your rapping kinda kills the song's whole vibe stone dead for moi.

Live at the pumhouse

Spotted at where else but Thizzler:

Derek King ft. IamSu - What It Do
(From Fake ID mixtape; 2014)


Could this steal the Young California remix of Adrian Marcel's 2 AM spot as the best Bay Area Ratchet & Bullshit smooth jam of 2014? Nah, but it makes me feel like I'm taking a warm soak with the rumoured forthcoming £500 Visvim bubblebath that Hiroki is probably going to claim he's sourced from one of Jupiter's moons, and those Run D.M.C "AY YEAH!"'s are a subtle touch that make all the world of difference in the final product like cashew nuts in a Lucknawi chicken korma.

Why do all these new California R&B guys insist on using their unglamorous government names when they're supposed to be heartthrobs, though? Adrian Marcel sounds like the name of a creepy amateur magician from Quebec, and Derek King sounds like the name of a bloke my granddad used to know from his local bookies in the early '90s.

Attn Louisiana rap fans

DJ Hektik & DJ Dow Jones' new mixtape N.O. 2 B.R. (Resurrection) right chea is relevant to your interests since it pairs some of the best songs by Mouse On Tha Track and Max Minelli from the past 12 months alongside those new Boosie joints like Came 2 Da Can, Pray For Me, Heart Of A Lion and Wuda Cuda Shuda, and then adds a shitload of exclusives including a C-Loc & Lil' Phat song, a Big Head cut, a B.G track produced by Monsta Beatz that won't seem to play, and a great random deep cut in All These Hoes by Cheese.

Boosie sounds hecka rusty at times on Heart Of A Lion but it's starting to grow on me as an official single.

Betcha can't do it like Bieb

Here's the track which helped reposition my mind on Shitro Sanchez being a one song wonder. Dude picked a concept and then saw it through to its thematic conclusion with the help of some Zaytoven-does-K-Rab stylee production that's barely there but still as potent as zee smell of her perfume:


"I'm in love with white bricks, I got jungle fever
I can make the dope dance just like Justin Bieber"

MPA Shitro Sanchez - Justin Bieber
(From Son Of A Bricc Lady mixtape; 2014)



This one has been floating around for over a week now so I'm surprised it hasn't gotten more attention from the axis of the rap internet which usually fawns over every single song from any of those Atlanta lads who are affiliated with PeeWee Longway and have a penchant for posing with their shirts off in kitchens full of other shirtless PeeWee Longway affiliates from Atlanta who are known for posing with their shirts off in kitchens full of other shirtless PeeWee Longway affiliates from Atlanta.

Reasons why I love YouTube: drop that Neigh-Neigh edition

File this one under ‘posts which will alienate 98.9% of all Martorialist readers.’

Here's a near-literal interpretation of Charli XCX's "Trash the hotel, let's get drunk at the mini-bar!" line from Iggy Aztralea's Fancy via Paul Robinson in the G.O.A.T Aussie soap opera Neighbours aka the TV show which spawned the careers of Russell Crowe, Kylie Minogue, Guy Pearce, Alan Dale, Natalie Imbruglia, Holly Valance, that lad who played Dr. Chase in House, and Margot Robbie:


Also file this one under ‘a single episode of Neighbours contains more pathos and narrative fluidity than all 5 seasons of Breaking Bad.’

Sold more 'puters than Jonzun & Jonzun

Of all the Jonzun Crew songs from their debut album to have been blessed with a secrete video, I never woulda expected it'd be We Are The Jonzun Crew. This is Tron on 1% of that movie's budget, but with far better music, a slightly more comprehensible storyline, and some added customary crap breakdancing:

Jonzun Crew - We Are The Jonzun Crew
(From Lost In Space album; 1983)


Good to see Michael Jonzun got some use outta that proto-Lord Dark Helmet from Spaceballs costume he'd previously worn when Jonzun Crew performed Pack Jam on some German TV show in 1983:

Binoculars, dey watchin' me/hatin' but ain't stoppin' me!

You know how you'll download a song because one of your favourite rappers/producers is involved with it and play it once like "yeah, not bad" and then completely forget about it until you randomly listen to it again a couple of weeks later and then you can't stop listening to it for the rest of the day even though you can't really articulate what it is you find so alluring about the song? Dat Me and Dey Know!

Eside Shawty ft. Mouse On Tha Track & Gutta TV - Dey Know
(From the internet; 2014)