Martorialist exclusive: unreleased Nas demo produced by Large Professor!

Firstly, don't get your hopes up because this isn't the fabled Eric B demo (which, let's face it, means it was actually produced by Large Pro) recorded before Live At The BBQ, but another track from the later two song cassette tape demo that also featured Life Is Like A Dice Game which Xtra-P and Nas shopped around to various record labels in 1992. Unsure of the track's title but, essentially, this is yung Nasir exploring The Message's "it's like a jungle sometimes" trope over a typically dense early 90s Large Pro update of Sounds Of The Safari by the Jungle Brothers, and it's absolutely incredible!

Nas & Large Professor - Unreleased 1992 demo track

Re: the "why doesn't male Rap bloggaz have more female rappaz in their 2013 year end lists?" debate

This is an unexpected twist in the Last Dayz of 2013: being called out by that lad with the often-noted bizarre fetish for Female Rappers™ who writes for such bastions of quality Rap journalism as The Guardian and FACT Magazine. Being that this is the season of goodwill, it's possible to forgive Alex MacPherson for his rather pitiful coverage of modern Rap music in The Guardian even though he's the paper's token ‘urban expert’, and one can even let it slide that MaxPhearson appears to be unfamiliar with this website's stripes in the Rap feminism wars (breaking Katie Got Bandz to the world and causing Das Rapist to break up; highlighting the hypocrisy of fake thinkpiece-feminist careerists like Brendan Soderberg and Kitty Pryde), but unless MacPearson can provide any evidence to the contrary, then Katie Got Bandz was the only Female Rapper™ who released any great music over the past 12 months, bar the guest spots from Trina on Wowzers, Kreayshawn on Pu$$y Magnet, Princess on Call It Like You Want It (an omission from my year end list, tbf) and Nicki Minaj on the otherwise abominable Freaks.

I don't think that's an unreasonable stance to take: Lady and Nicki didn't drop any new songs this year; Gangsta Boo released an ill-advised mixtape of Eternal Sunshine of the European "EDM" producer-Rap which unfortunately had more in common with M.I.A than Mia X; None of Sasha Go Hard's 2013 songs clicked for me and I'm assuming they mustn't have clicked for anyone else either since Sasha ended the year relegated to the Cloud-Rap scrapheap recording tracks with Tumblr flotsam & jetsam like Ryan Hemsworth and Kitty Pryde; Eve was decent over top dollar production in her Ruff Ryders heyday but I'm not really checking for her 13 years later in the same way that I'm not listening to any new music by DMX or Drag-On; LadyKilla by Cocc Pistol Cee was an aiight album deep cut on DJ Mustard's Ketchup but certainly not list-worthy; Lauryn Hill now makes music which sounds like something off Conspiracy SBU's MySpace page; Azelia Banks is on some Rap Game Kelly Brook type shit the way she's a deplorable hack at her profession who's loathed by women and only kept in business by wanking teenage lads; Iggy Azalea is an Australian with a fucking A$AP Rocky tattoo who clearly never received the memo that states Marmaloid is the only Sheila with a Rap pass; Lil' Kim's B.E.T cypher freestyle revealed she's undergone the most bizarre voice transformation since Shyne because she now sounds like J-Zone's alter-ego Chief Chinchilla, which doesn't particularly bode well for any new music from her in 2014; if you're a grown man who's ever sat through a full song by Boosie's rapping pre-teen daughter then you're another Ian Watkins in-waiting, imho; and Angel Haze makes terrible performance art alt-Rap for broadsheet journalists with double-barreled names, gender politics students, and other assorted demographics of mollycoddled posh people who'd turn their noses up at Pussy.

Naturally, Brendan Soderberg also chimed in on the matter by peddling his usual "HEY GIRLS, I'M NOT LIKE THESE OTHER ICKY-WICKY-STICKY-PRICKY GUYS!" blowhard routine in the vain hope some naive 21 year old writing major from Nebraska who's just moved to D.C will buy into his faux-Captain Save-A-Girl's-Feelings shtick and travel to Baltimore to have sympathy-sex with him. Das Rapist's BFF Soderberg is such a brain dead stoner troglodyte that he's probably already forgotten he broke kayfabe a couple of months back by flipping from Duckie into Steff the moment Katherine St. Asaph exposed him as a lying sack of shit and then spent the next 48 hours bullying her on Twitter and the ILX message board as she repeatedly begged him to leave her alone. Evidently, Soderberg views women's feelings as little more than an instrument to be brought into use when writing lyricism sexism is back! essays for SPIN or angling for retweets from Maura Johnson on Twitter, and "SPIN's Hip Hop Writer" doesn't give a flying fuck about Female Rappers™ at all according to his his 2013 album list.

An Englishman in Akron, Ohio

Raps set to ‘mainey but vulnerable’, Kenny G saxophone set to ‘emotionally stunted’, yup, it can only be my favourite track from that Young Bossi & Joe Blow album which seems to have slipped through the cracks of the Rap-internet now Thomas is no longer writing about new music:

Young Bossi & Joe Blow ft. Ampichino - Crazy World
(From FishscaleBlow album; 2013)


Always the Herr Flick to Young Bossi's Von Smallhausen, Ampichino steals the song with his guest verse which includes to a reference to Ken Shamrock, a boast about how bullets from his fo' will turn your 'fro to a flat-top, and the sort of unfurling storytelling about the consequences of crime that's reminiscent of classic Ice-T. Bravo, old bean.

A non-2013 Rap songs I discovered in 2013 compilation 4 u

One last compilation for 2013 consisting of a bunch of Rap songs that aren't from this year but which charmed the socks offa me over the past 12 months. Some of them I'd never heard before and some of them I had heard before but just never realised how good they were for some stupid reason. If you're one of the three people who put me onto four of these songs then give yourself a round of smug applause and major props to I-can't-say-who for gettin' me you-know-what.

The Martorialist - Lucky 2013 compilation

1. Skull Duggery ft. Mystikal - Satisfied (1998)
2. Yungstar ft. Lil' Flex - Knockin' Pictures remix (2002)
3. Grip Plyaz - I Got What You Need (2012)
4. Agallah - Let's Get High (2001)
5. Mista Madd ft. Slim Thug & Yungstar - Down South (1999)
6. Spoony G - Ohwhoahhhh (2011)
7. M.I.C (Lil' Chris) - Same Shit Different Day (2012)
8. Kevin Gates ft. Max Minelli - They Can Hate (2011)
9. Yungstar ft. Lil' James, Lil' Flex & Pooh-Bear - Screens "R" Fallin' (2000)
10. Agallah - Rap Bobby Fischer (2010)
11. Big Kuntry King - Still Kuntry (2003)
12. HD Of Bearfaced - 40 Glock User remix (2012)
13. Uncle Murda - Take Care Of The Witness (2008)
14. Spoonie Gee - Street Girl (7" radio edit) (1985)
15. Trai'D - Sex Pill (2008)
16. Mannie Fresh ft. Jay Ant - Heal The World (2012)
17. DJ Drama ft. Travis Porter & Kirko Bangz - Real N*ggas In The Building (2012)
18. Fed Da Sneak ft. Stu Hustlah & AG - Oooooooooo (2012)
19. Mystery Artist - Mystery Song (????)
20. DB Tha General - Ima Get It (2008)
~~~> DOWNLOAD HERE <~~~
Make sure you hit up all your buddies on Friends Reunited and Faceparty and tell 'em ya boy Mess Marvell right chea just dropped 20 gems on 'em.

Cheapest thing I got on is the bitch on my dick!

I really hope FrankieThaLuckyDog doesn't retire from writing about Louisiana Rap in 2014 because the kid has an unfuckwithable ear for finding these amazing cuts by Baton Rogue baggage handlers that are practically untouched by the rest of the internet; take Dope Boi Swag by 31st Deedy with Savage & Ree Up, which I'd probably have never have heard had it not been featured on Frankie's last Louisiana Archives compilation: the much underrated Savage goes mini-Mouse On Tha Track on 'em and transforms a deep cut by another Young Ready weed carrier and one of the Bad Azz Entertainment underlings who probably used to iron Boosie's Adidas sweatsuits into the hardest Baton Rogue anthem since Mind Right.

"Dirty Sprite in my cup, dirty money in my pocket
Just got me a plug, but I don't need a socket"

31st Deedy ft. Savage & Ree Up - Dope Boi Swag
(From Street Lights Episode 2 mixtape; 2013)

R.I.P FrankieThaLuckyDog??

OH MAH GAWD, KING! The blawg overlawd FrankieThaLuckyDog just went thermonuclear on the Rap-internet and announced his retirement from the mixtape and (possibly?) blogging game. Peep the outro from Frankie's latest and final mixtape for 2013's most eviscerating monologue; "TALK TO 'EM, 'PAC!"

FrankieThaLuckyDog - Outro (Final Message)
(From Tha Louisiana Archives Vol. 16: …Tha End? mixtape; 2013)


Dook throws the baby out with the bath water by calling out Baton Rouge rappers for being too cheap to pay him $20 to book spots on his Louisiana Archives mixtapes before launching into a tirade which takes in the luh he's spread, the amount of unwarranted likes Mista Cain gets on Facebook, his current preference for Gunplay & 2 Chainz over any rappers from Louisiana, Baton Rouge artists not travelling to see him in Philadelphia, and rappers who fuck up their careers by becoming fathers too early!

Never forget Frankie has been writing about Kevin Gates for at least 4 years, before casting your attention to Gates' Wikipedia page where you'll notice that hack-savant rapist-apologist Brendan Soderberg frantically editing the career section to make it appear as if his SPIN coverage in 2013 was responsible for Gates blowing up. Obviously we're not ones to gossip or shit stir here at The Martorialist, but even (former?) SPIN editor Chris Weingarten finds Soderberg's weaselly actions on this matter nauseatingly hilarious.

Kinda late pass!

Is it just me or did Kid Capri transform Busta & Q-Tip's pretty good Thank You into a possible classic by doing his thang on top of it? Capri was born to shout stuff over Disco breakbeats, thus the mixtape remix of Thank You where he embellishes the song with his own brand of colour commentary goes so much harder than the original version. SWITCH!!!


Busta Rhymes ft. Q-Tip, Lil' Wayne & KanYe West - Thank You Kid Capri remix
(From The Abstract & The Dragon mixtape; 2013)


Wish Capri had also been featured on that other 2013 Thank You Disco-sample joint by an ageing N.Y rapper.

Who dat who dat who dat who dat who?

Stuff you can learn from messing around on Spotify when gripped by insomnia: there's another Young Thug who released an album in 2010 with a title that's remarkably similar to some Young Thug odds 'n' sods compilation on Datpiff! At least, I'm assuming it's a different Young Thug since the album is almost entirely Google-proof with regards to any information about it and this breh neither sounds nor looks like like Young Thug circa 2010. Who dat? Ummm, it looks like Chance The Rapper on a work experience placement at his local bakery:

Anyhoo, ya boy Patrick ST 2 Lettaz Michel right chea liked this song from the album enough to cop an MP3 of it because duuk rhymes like the Georgian JR Writer and his "AYO!" ad lib after kicking a heterosexually-questionable lyric is probably the longest "AYO!" you'll ever heard in a Rap song. Also digging that the fella who sings the hook could pass for Holly Johnson from Frankie Goes To Hollywood and how the breakdowns which accompany the hook even sound like they're from a song on the first Frankie album if it'd been produced by Foghorn Leghorn rather than Trevor Horn:

Young Thug - I Know Tha Drought
(From Life Of A Thug album; 2010)