This one's a real grower even though loosie single Essence is still better than anything on Nef's new album. Producer Carter Boy combined a vocal sample from Janet Jackson's All For You with a First Class Type Beat to create a slap with warm Off The Rictor euphoria. Too much current Rap music sounds like the crowd at an MMA event. Me, I'm tryna bask in Rap music which sounds like that first rush of MDMA euphoria.
Gen X - Dancing With Myself
(From Dancing With Myself single; 1980)
10/10 song from 1980 which became an 9/10 song when it was re-recorded and re-released as Billy Idol's debut solo single in 1981. The 1980 Gen X version is one of the greatest U.K Punk singles ever recorded, but I guess Billy F**kface here was too stupid to realise that because he toned down the guitar & bass considerably for the 1981 solo version. I'm not tryna get Enid Coleslaw on datazz, I'm just sayin' the 1981 version doesn't crank nearly as hard as the original and that's all fact no opinion. I always presumed Dancing With Myself was about Billy being lonely on tour and wanking in a Tokyo hotel room on some Lost In Masturbation type shit. Turns out I got the song's inspiration lost in translation because Idol's artistic impetus was seeing the crowd in a Tokyo club dancing with their own reflections in mirrored walls.
As a concept, Punk Rock is kinda cool. But as a culture, Punk Rock is invariably corny. Out of all the terrible British music critics, Those Blokes Who Can Only View Rap Music Through The Prism Of Punk Rock™ are the absolute W.O.A.T. Ain't gonna lie tho, some of the music is undeniable, particularly as a singles genre. Ergo, here's the official Martorialist top ten U.K Punk singles of all time in no order of preference.
Don't give me no lip that The Jam weren't a Punk band. They may have been rigged out in 60s Mod clobber, but them lads were a Punk band in sound until 1982.
Arabian Prince - Simple Planet
(From Innovative Life • The Anthology • 1984-1989 compilation; 2008)
Help me out here - is this an unreleased track from 1989 or is it a 2008 track recorded especially for this anthology compilation? Either way, this shit is everything I like about Electro music from L.A and Detroit in the SAME DAMN TRACK! It even featuress that weird stretched chiming sound which popped up in various TV shows and movies from the early 1980s.
Homeboy Sandman - Win Win
(From Rich II album; 2024)
This is a reality-Rap video, you really go through it every time you have Sandman's music up in your lugholes. I was a huge fan of Boy Sand dog'n my earwax before he got too prudish and prigish these past couple of years (never trust a tee-total, vegan conspiracy theorist!) But Win Win is that old Sandman and gives me hope for his forthcoming sequel to Enough where he's reunited with J-Live and Kurious. Baby, I stay strapped mentally...
It's funny how a great video can transform a song into your favourite jam on the whole album. Absolute perfect marriage of music and music image resulting in a prequel to the ? video and the greatest DOOM tribute ever. Shit twists my tearducts like a muppet; keepin' it honest, I can't listen to it in public. Also, a rare modern Kurious video where he's not wearing jhorts. That man definitely owns more cut-off denim than an ECW wrestler.
If I ruled the world, Kurious would have included I Don't Even Exist and Don't Know on his Majician album rather than his Mystery Mixtape. One of my biggest pet peeves with Rap is rappers not including great songs on their proceeding album. It's an annoying practice which dates back to the mid 1980s when Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde didn't include Gettin' Money, Fast Life and A.M./P.M. on their album. Run-D.M.C also got in on the act when they neglected to include Together Forever on Raising Hell or Here We Go (Live at The Funhouse) on King Of Rock. The Beastie Boys also threw their baseball caps in the ring when they decided She's On It wasn't going to appear on Licensed To Ill. The Beasties now hate that song and refer to it as "Cheese Omelette", but they're terrible judges of their own catalogue so who cares what they think?
1. Hard Rock Soul Movement - Double Def Fresh (1986)
2. Professor X - Professor X (Saga) (1988)
3. LL Cool J - Illegal Search (Pre-Trial Hearing mix) (1990)
4. Jay Tee ft. Mac Dre - Do The Crew (CDQ version) (1990/2018)
5. Kurious - Fill 'Er Up (1991/2008)
6. G. Dep - Dollar Bill (1998)
7. AZ - Rap Fanatic (2002)
8. Big Moe ft. Mike Wilson - Leave Drank Alone (2003)
9. Saigon - Favorite Thingz (extended version) (2006)
10. DaBanggaz314 - Run Up Get Dun Up (2009)
11. Homeboy Sandman - Talking (Bleep) (2016)
12. 38 Dezzie ft. Mouse On Tha Track - On My Shit (2021)
13. Mic Terror - OJ Simpson (2021)
14. Pookie F'n Rude ft. Hash Hearted - Put That On Everythang (2023)
15. Mello Buckzz - Move (2023)
15 songs from the rich tapestry of Rap history which have been up in my ears like malleus bones in 2024. Most of them are new-to-me discoveries, but a couple of them are old favourites which have snuck back into regular rotation. Shout out to Step Wun for recently hippin' me to that AZ song.
"If you ain't from the Yay then I'm over n*ggas heads
Bitches askin' Siri 'bout some shit that Chang said"
Nef The Pharaoh - Essence
(From Essence single; 2024)
I ain't from the Yay so I'll tell you what's over my head: why Nef's Essence loosie from a few months back is better than anything on his Vallejo Playa album which dropped this past friday. When Nef says "I'll do a song and won't ever send the session, I don't want your engineer f**kin' up my essence" I feel like he's mocking me because he's never dropped that song with Mannie Fresh he teased on Instagram back in 2016. The snippet has long since been deleted, but that shit sounded exactly how a Mannie Nef song should sound. Call that shit Simon Cowell because it's never coming out.
