If you haven't heard, Ice-T was once like Mike, H.R, & Schoolly all rolled into one, and just when it looked like the year's most amazing non-rap song featuring a rapper belonged to DJ Snake & Lil' Jon, Ice got Ernie C to strap his guitar back on. AP.9 might be a bit more young, and Ice should have never dumpied' Darlene for Coco's big saggy bum, but if Body Count's cover of Institutionalized isn't better than Turn Down For What then it's the closest one:
"He said do you realise how much sugar is in that kool aid?
I said do you realise how much blood is in the human body? Do you wanna see it, motherfucker?"
Body Count - Institutionalized 2014
(From Manslaughter album; 2014)
Hola Hollowmanvito. Let's not even front like all guitar music hasn't been a dead genre since Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff before Body Count returned.
Attention 98% of hardcore scene girlz in washerwoman bandanas after seeing a picture of Dita Von Teese sporting one/reading a post about Bettie Page on Jezebel/spying Kat Von D wear something similar in whatever terrible tattoo show she's in currently - please refer to the chick from the live scenes in the Institutionalized video by Suicidal Tendencies for how the look should be done properly :
Top 5 video chick of all time alongside any of the birds in Robert Palmer's Addicted To Love video and the one who looks like a perma-sarcastic Brandy in the video for Feel So Good by Ma$e.
While we're on the subject of Suicidal, the whole Mike Muir look with Raiders caps/bandanas, flannel shirts with the top button done up, 501s, and Vans Eras/Slip-Ons is played already. It's time to start looking to Rocky George as the Suicidal Tendencies member we should be taking our sartorial cues from :
Here at The Martorialist we've already got black shirts galore and can switch up the smart black trews game with those black GoodEnough pants from a few years back we stocked up on during the sale at Hideout, so all we need to do now is procure a black bomber jacket from our local Army & Navy store, cop an old Pittsburgh Pirates pillbox cap from eBay, find some Generic Surplus Winos from wherever (no offence but we'll pass on the white M.J socks, Rocky) and it's officially on. If this becomes the default look at the gigs of Vicecore bands like Flats and dubstep raves then please remember who brought the look back first.
Bonus action :
Mike's mom from the Institutionalized video : prime I Don't Care If You Wouldn't, I Would fodder? Possibly has a penis lurking under that dress, but every man wants to be seduced by a domineering Mrs Robinson-ish mother and you imagine that she'll probably pull some mean Fuck Faces during sex judging by some of her gurning in the video :
If there's specific sub-genre of rap I'm all up on like a knat on a dog's dick (no Bodil Joensen), it's exotic Egyptian soundin' rap. 'Twas born back in the mid 80s with Egyptian Lover and tracks like Triple Threat by the Z3 MC's, and then disappeared until the noughties when it was revived by Mac Dre with tunes like So Hard and Dipped When They See Me, before Prodigy became the most effective exponent of it circa NHIC 2 with a lil' help from Sid Roams and Alchemist. I'm pushing for a full-scale trend in '010 and hoping Prodigy will emerge from jail to do a tune with Big Noyd over the music from the Amstrad CPC 464 version of Oh Mummy.
John Carpenter & Alan Howarth - Transient Hotel
The great thing about John Carpenter soundtracks on vinyl is that they sound great played at 33 or 45 RPM, but the great thing about Carpenter soundtracks in general is that, although the music would always be tailored to the movie in question (the They Live soundtrack soundtrack from which this comes contains nods towards Western incidental music and Ry Cooder), his whole trademark synthesizer steez would always be intact. Seriously, how can you go wrong with a John Carpenter soundtrack cut which was set to a magic sunglasses wearing Rowdy Roddy Piper roaming around town blasting undercover aliens and brawling with Keith David?
Michael Sembello - Maniac
Some people rewatch Flashdance for the Rock Steady Crew scene, but my reasons for any subsequent views have always been for the 'yatches in lyrca and the 2nd greatest UK number one by a US artist in the 80s after Easy Lover by Philip Bailey ft. Phil Collins, which is a considerable accomplishment given that it's up against the likes of Call Me by Blondie, Candy Girl by New Edition, Billie Jean, 19 by Paul Hardcastle, Into The Groove by Madonna, and Jack Your Body by Steve "Silk" Hurley. Thank fuck for 80s pop or I could never put anything on jukeboxes in 95% of northern pubs without getting jeered by the regulars for inflicting "monkey music" or "fucking sweat music" on the place.
Doug E. Fresh - Back In The Dayz
Man, Eard and I had been looking for this for years after hearing it on a Funk Flex radio show from 1993, but had all but given up ever finding it as we'd concluded it was some promo exclusive 1 copy only Doug hooked Flex up with until Step One came through with the info that it was the b. side of a 12" made during Doug's tenure with MC Hammer's Bust It Records imprint and a complimentary mp3, which will do just fine until the 12" of it I snagged off eBay on sunday morning arrives. Doug rhyming over classic breaks in 1992 is similar to Nas rhyming over a played-out sample like J.B's The Boss in 2002 : you want to hate it on principle alone because it's so lazy, but the result is just so dope that you can't help but get down to it like you're Teen Wolf at the prom.
The Freeze - Refridgerator Heaven
Okay, it's not quite the MrChiCity video which got us all open back in 2008, but it's as good as any of the Freeze songs on This Is Boston Not L.A or Violent Arrest, which is no mean feat as Violent Arrest features the best back-up vocals in the history of recorded music. How can you even describe them? The closest comparison I can come up with is HBK doing kareoke performances of Joe Denunzio from Infest.
B.G - I Want It
Simply because it's the best non-Mannie produced, post-classic-era single by a (former) Ca$h Money Records artist not based on a song from U.N.L.V's Uptown For Life album, or not featuring The Clipse and The Neptunes at their '02 - '03 peak.
Andre Williams - Jailbait
Motorhead - Jailbait
It's not dodgy to think that the hottest Jody Foster ever looked was as Iris in Taxi Driver if it's actual factz, is it? Just because Sport said she was 12 years old it doesn't mean it's actually true, because Sport was a lying junkie pimp who wore his kecks pulled up to his adam's apple. She could've been much older. Like 13. Anyhoo, long before the likes of Michael, Gary, Pete and Robert were getting busted for diddling pre-pubescents, 50s R&B singers like Andre Williams and and 70s/80s NWOBHM bands who ended up knockin' out wrestler entrance themes like Motorhead were waxing lyrical about the joys and perils of Lollitas without grass on their lady-gardens.
Curtains - Exodus
Even though he annoyingly spells his name out like my teenage nephew texts, I like Curtains because he sorta reminds me of Grand Puba, and his business modus operandi is kinda comparable some late 90s indie rapper, only he's replaced 12" singles with Youtube viral video singles. He leaked an mp3 of this around the same point he also leaked Genesis so I slept on this one until a video appeared for it last week and I awoke from my slumber to chalk this one up as another banger. Note to rappers : more songs with Doo-Wop samples plz.
For discovering videos you never knew existed for songs which you love part 2
Black Flag - Slip It In
Sometime back in 2006 my mate sends me a Youtube link telling me that some zany kids have just made a video to Slip It In which i should see, so I'm watching it and I'm like "Holllld up, wait a minute - these mahfuckers in it are the cast from the 2 80s TeenageLovedolls flicks, aren't they?". A Google search revealed that, yes, they are various cast members from those movies, that it's a proper Black Flag video and that it was directed by dook who did that The Year Punk Broke documentary in the 90s. The TV Party and Drinking And Driving (is it just me or does that song sound much better accompanied with the video than it ever sounded on record?) videos were widely distrubuted on grainy VHS tapes from American friends in this country but i 'unno anyone who ever knew of the existence of this video before Youtube. Anyway, it's become one of my favourite videos and the blond who played Alexandria Axethrasher in the Lovedolls movies looks foxy as hell in it, in a kind of Stephanie Kaye from Degrassi going to a fancy dress party as Dee Snider from Twisted Sister kinda way.
Juvenile - Solja Rag
Juve's Hot Boys visor is one of the flyest bit of apparel I've seen but them cuffed Daisy Duke shorts he's wearing leave a lot to be desired. That said, he does rock them a lot better than Prodigy in the Outta Control remix video so it's all luv. Is Juve's main mate who looks like Brix from OZ/Bodie from The Wire with a Boosie-fade Lil' Soulja from Beelow's Big Body remix?
Aux 88 - Electro/Techno
Regular Detriot techno bores me, but I ride with the more electro type shit like Juan Atkins's output under his Cybotron and Model 500 nom de plumes and the 90s elecretro stuff they inspired like Aux 88. Aux 88 were vaguelly known in the UK for 2 reasons : for having that remix of Electronic Warfare by Underground Resistance which was on the Dave Clarke electro video mix that the MTV dance show that durty lookin' Simone bird hosted used to play late at night, and them turning up to play Bugged Out in Manchester at the height of summer in those Martin Lawrence in Big Momma's House sized bubble gooses they used to wear.
Freddie Foxxx - The Master
It's often said that getting your video played on Yo!, MTV Raps back in the day was the difference between selling thousands of copies and seling 5 copies to your homeboys and mum, so that probably explains why Freddie's first album from 1989 went plastic (well, that and the fact the album was shit other than this song, obviously), because there was no way any national tv show was ever going show this fucking bizarre video effort with an intro which seems to last the duration of 2012 (I can't be the only one who considered suicide during the last hour of that movie as a means of escape) where Freddie walks out of his kitchen job on his tyranical Chinese boss due to the advice of Eric B as his mythical Zen Master figure who imparts knowledge on him at times of crisis, and then gets chased around Chinatown by the bosses henchmen, who include some Sumo wrestler who looks more like Biz than Yokozuna, before they embark on a karate fight on a traintrack under a bridge.
Beastie Boys - She's On It
I remember someone telling me that there was a video to this, but I always just assumed they meant an extended version of the scene in Krush Groove where the Beasties perform it. How wrong I was. Here we get the Beasties on a beach, plenty of bikini clad broads, a young Rick Rubin and that guitar riff which is nastier than Clarence Boddicker. Oh shit, there was a video for Rock Hard too.
Vanity 6 - Nasty Girl
Speaking of nasty, some clever clogs has managed to exploit a legal loophole to upload the Nasty Girl video without Warner Brothers having it deleted or getting the sound muted for copyright infingement. My man needs to do the same with them old Ice-T videos which Warner's jobsworths keep having removed too. Anyway, this is the best Prince penned song not sung by Prince and was the catalyst for the first proper rap answer record by Martorialist faves Dr. Jeckyll & Mr Hyde. Cot-damn, Susan Moonsie was fine.
Nate Dogg - One More Day
This was always the sleeper cut from the Murder Was The Case soundtrack for me and, weirdly, the video isn't even on that Too Gangsta For TV Death Row Uncut dvd which came out around a decade ago, which has pretty much every other video and misuscule piece of footage from the Death Row vaults. Rap videos where rappers and their mates pretend to play instruments on stage are always a winner, and that's word to Diamond D on the drums and Fat Joe on the bass in the Actual Facts video.
Onyx - Bacdafucup
I'm more of a All We Got Iz Us kinda fella (second only to Liquid Swords as far as perfect wintertime rap albums go), but the intro to the first album is one of my favourite preludes and if I was a wrestler I'd use this as my entrance music a la New Jack with Natural Born Killaz. Is this the only example of an album intro getting video treatment?
Into Another - Mutate Me
As far as 80s NY hardcore vets going all post-hardcore in the 90s go, Into Another weren't exactly a group of the Quicksand calibre, but they did have their moments like the Seemless L, which this comes from. Can't front, I did catch the dying seconds of this on 120 Minutes back in 1995 but it wasn't until Youtube that I finally see the video in all its cliched the-band-anguishedly-perform-the-song-in-some-cramped-space-as-flashing-lights-dart-inbetween-them glory. You're a better man than me if you can fathom out what the fuck the falling lift with the robotic skeleton are all about.
Royce Da 5'9" - Boom
According to my mate the Boom video got play on MTV Base back in 2001, but I never came across it. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing as the video is pebbledashed with various scenes from the utterly absymal Carmen : A Hip Hopera since the song ended up appearing on the soundtrack to that sunday moring custard-crap of a movie. I'd rather hear Umi Says (hands down the most excrutiating rapper-tries-to-sing track to date) pumped at ear splitting volume at 4 AM every morning for the rest of my life than ever watch Mos Def act again.
Also check out Dom P's treasure trove of bizarre homemade rap memorabilia including, deep breath here, a wooden box with 5 tennis balls painted as the members of NWA superglued onto it.
Please believe your boy would pull the trigger on this if it wasn't $750. Seven hundred and fifty dollars. Marinate on that.
De La were wrong : you can't do anything; You've always gotta know your limits. Rollins proved as much back in his Flag days with his delusions of grandeur, brought about by successfully pulling off items of clothing you'd generally associate with the moustacioed member of Frankie Goes To Hollywood like painted on short-shorts and teabag-vests, which came to a sudden halt when he hit the plated glass ceiling awaiting the more adventurous dresser with an almighty thud and took a Boba Fett styled tumble into the Great Pit Of What-Was-I-Thinking? Carkoon as he attempted The Cowell :
It's a look which has seen many a fly mahfucker fall on their sartorial sword, as it conjures up images of the Care-In-The-Community goobers usually found using the internet in public libraries and the potential serial killers with flasks seen loitering around provincial railway stations, but it's also a look which a select few have managed to come correct with. O - u mad they styled on u, Henry???
Willie in Stranger Than Paradise :
The logical continuation of the Johnny-Boy, John Lurie was the coolest white man on the planet with his high-waisted kecks, leather and trilby outfit in Jim Jarmusch's 1984 debut feature. Alas, 20 odd years later the look was bastardised by Pete Doherty and then had the nails hammered squarely into its coffin by fucking Blake Civil Poncey Cunt.
Ice-T :
Ice-Tracy was so cool back in the eighties and early nineties that, not only could he get away with having a girls name, but he could've sported a Dudley "Booger" Dawson get-up and he'd have still had white guys from the UK dreaming of hittin' their high school end of term disco decked out in a JJB Sports bought variation of the outfit.
Terry Hall :
Any member of The Specials would have done here, but Terry was just that tad cooler than his bandmates and his successful wearing of The Cowell was all the more remarkable given that he was the lankiest guy in the group.
Sport in Taxi Driver :
Harvey Keitel as Sport walks into a bar and sez "the highballs are on me". *Rim shot*. Scientists are still working on how Harvey Keitel's Sport had the audacity to tell De Niro's Travis that he didn't "look hip" given that Travis was a doyen of understated Americana cool, but Sport somehow manages to the rock the whole Ayo, money - did Arnold Schwarzenegger pull your pants up for you? extreme Cowell look with pure macked-out street swag.
Anybody in a Jamel Shabazz, Martha Cooper or Henry Chalfant photo :
Man, dudes in seventies NYC were all poor as fuck so they lived on some a solitary cheese sandwich a day type rationing. Consequently, they were so skinny they looked incredible in any item of gear no matter how they wore it. Is poverty and starvation a decent tradeoff for sartorial-nirvana? I 'unno, but you gotta admit you'd probably sell non vital bodyparts to look this cool.
Daisy Duke :
Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. Or, in this instance, a hastily typed paragraph of babble since collating this post took way longer than I expected and seeing Catherine Bach all Daisyed-out here has given me a raging stiffy I need to satiate before my lift arrives to go see Saw VI in ten minutes. Toodles.
I mean, all the live at the amphitheatre scenes in Wild Style are unfuckwithable, Treacherous Three & Doug E. Fresh doin' Santa's Rap and Melle Mel's rendition of Beat Street Breakdown in Beat Street are great, and the Circle Jerks trussed up in matching tuxedos sauntering their way through a lounge version of When The Shit Hits The Fan in Repo Man is a headfuck, but the the Cro-Mags's storming their way through It's The Limit and Hard Times as The Iron Skulls in 1987 flick The Beat looks down from Mount Olympus at all other contenders for the position of best live performance in an 80s movie.
Let's see what teh internetz has to say about this scene :
tmolesky (2 years ago)
Yup - the movie that they were filming was called "the Beat" and the Cro-mags were called "Iron Skulls"My friend Jason (singer from Krakdown) was the one screaming "hard times" in the mic with Bloodclot - I remember that day like yesterday because I almost had my neck broken by a 300 pound stage diver...
danmack6872 (2 years ago)
I remeber skipping school that day also to to see this. It was the first time for me seeing the cromags live and it was awesome. Also, remember going into the men's room where the people filming were giving and offering everyone coming in there lit marijuana joints because it was footage they were using for the film. Have to see it was the fist and only harcore show I ever went to where I recieved free food and pot.
filler01 (10 months ago)
Ahhh to be alive during the hardcore 80s scene....I was still swimmin in my pops balls....
You may have looked like my step-grandad in drag but there was something so peculiarly erotic about your pussy double-entendres which managed to a reveal a slight glint in my undeveloped Jap's eye before i even knew what a pussy was.
R.I.P.
Integrity - Vocal Test set to moshing puddy cats
Of course, no post containing a cast member of Are You Being Served is complete without this Louis Theroux clip :
Can't believe whoever upped the video missed the climax of the interview where racist cowboy finally snaps at Louis's constant chime of I'm Free! and informs Louis that he's not free because of the Jews, though. That's like a Mrs Slocombe double-entendre video with all the feline references beeped out or, indeed, a video of a moggy mosh-pit set to the strains of Vocal Test which stops before the best bit of the song when the wailing guitar solo starts.
Finally seeing the clip of Serge Gainsbourg telling Whitney Houston that he vants to fuck her live on French telly and watching girls blow up balloons with their arses are obviously the primary and secondary reasons why Youtube is the best site ever but it's also a fine tool for discovering videos you never knew existed for songs which you love.
Back in 1994 my folks got Sky for the football but, as someone who has listened to a steady diet of 90% American music since the abominable stench of Band Aid, i was more pleased that i'd no longer have to pay/bribe/beg people to tape me Yo! MTV Raps, 120 Minutes and Headbangers Ball anymore, but even then it was possible for videos to slip between the cracks (or to forget to set the video to tape 'em) and there was a plethora of stuff from the 80s which never made it onto European tv in the first place. Here's some favourites which i've discovered on Youtube during the past 4 or so years :
YZ - In Control Of Things
Y'know, i can never decide whether i prefer this or Freedom Of Speech by Above The Law. The one thing i am certain of is that both tunes bump. YZ's Batman Sucks tee and yellow coat are fresh but i could really do without his mate in the yellow speedos with the boom-box gettin' his Ravishing Rick Rude on in the background. R.I.P Tony D.
Bl'ast! - Surf And Destroy
What do i want from a Bl'ast! video? Clifford shaving his head and attacking the camera with a surfboard? Check. Scenes of the Santa Cruz skate team in action? Check. Stock news footage about the threat of nuclear war? Check. Mock-live scenes with the band thrashing about in a garage and Mike Neider in a Run Dmc shirt? Check. Some random chick who resembles Elke Sommers? Check.
UGK - Wood Wheel
If this ain't better than Pocket Full Of Stones remix then it's the closest one. It's a damn shame that a group who lasted from 1989 to 2007 have so few videos, with those crackers at Jive not even giving them the funds to shoot one for any song from Ridin' Dirty. Anyhoo, this was the first video they shot after Jay's Big Pimpin' gave them global exposure and any video which features Pimp and Bun riding horses and wearing cowboy hats is automatically the greatest cinematic achievement since Citizen Kane.
Handsome - Needles
Back in '93 a band consisting of members of Quicksand and Helmet was a wet dream for some of us but few years later it was a reality when both bands combined to form the short-lived but incredible Handsome. This was the solitary video they shot for their mini-album so it was nice of them to choose the best song from it as their single.
CPO & MC Ren - Ballad Of A Menace
These guys yetagain. It's weird when you finally see people you're only familiar with from pictures on LP sleeves actually movin' around and stuff in videos, innit? Lil' Nation, it has to be said, is not a lil' bloke and this video is particularly notable as it features Donovan "The Dirt Biker" Sound AKA the Jake "The Snake" Roberts resembling cracker studio engineer (OMG - the gang$ta rap Rick Rubin/Paul C) who featured on pretty much every NWA/Ruthless Records related album from that era. The entire video is dripping in amazing vintage Raiders gear too.
Kyuss - One Inch Man
It was seeing the video to Green Machine which made sitting through hours of Faster Pussycat, Mordred, Ugly Kid Joe, Stone Temple Pilots and Dog Eat Dog videos and toadying,awkward interviews with the likes of Alice In Chains conducted by the braindead duo of Riki Rachtman and Vanessa Warwick on Headbangers Ball justifiable but i can't remember ever seeing any more Kyuss videos on there. Pretty much anything you'd expect from a Kyuss video (deserts, trippy effects, hair) is present and correct here.
Z-Ro & Trae - I Found Me
Hands up those of you who also used to trawl Blastro.com streaming Suga Free, Kingpin Skinny Pimp and Project Pat videos in the 2002 - 2004 pre-Youtube internet era? After discovering Z-Ro on 'Face's Snitch N*ggaz and devouring any of his catalogue i could find i was sorely disappointed that none of his videos were on Blastro. Thankfully when Youtube appeared a year or so later i was privvy to everything from videos for his classics like I Found Me to live footage of Mo City Don where the entire crowd chants every single line acapella.
The Cramps - Garbageman
Back in her prime Poison Ivy was a top 3 redhead of all time and the early records by The Cramps when they were taking trips to Memphis to record with Alex Chilton are still some of of the most deliriously fucked up scuzz-rock you'll ever hear. This is the one video they shot for their classic debut LP and, again, this is another one of those weird-seeing-people-you're-only-familiar-with-from-pictures-on-album-sleeves-moving-around-and-shit moments as, although i've seen Bryan Gregory throwin' rock god poses in grainy black & white super-8 cam footage on the supremely demented Live at Napa State mental institution dvd this is the first time i've ever seen video footage of him in colour.
Akinyele - I Luh Hur
Not only was Ak's Vagina Diner LP Large Pro's production peak but this is probably the best song about getting a bird up the duff ever made in any genre. The video captured the initial horror of getting some chickenhead pregnant and the resulting contradictory impulses of the male psyche which the song revolves around perfectly. The actual acting scenes with Ak' delivering lines with all the grace and pathos of a Channel 5 soap actor are the syrup on an already tasty cake.
