Martorial elegance : the Boosie edition # 4

We've had albums going wood, Ova Da Wudz by OutKast, the preoccupation with wood-grain steering wheels by gentlemen from Texa$ and a goofy Bay Area saltine gangsta-rapper by the name of Woodie, but the one thing rap has been sorely deficient in is wooden chains with pictures of Boosie's head glued onto them with a bit of Pritt Stick... until now :





One love to whichever Boosie DVD it is where he's wearing some fake Bapestas that he refers to as his "Young Jeezys". So, we've been blessed with Boosie chains, Boosie beanies, Boosie t-shirts and Boosie hoodies, but where are the Boosie jeans with his visage screenprinted onto the arse at, and how long do we have to wait for some patent leather Boosie sneakers with his head superimposed over 2pac's face on the toebox of some deadstock Makaveli brand AF1 rip-offs?

BONUS BOOSIE BEATS :

Lil' Boosie - I Ain't Mad At You
(From Bad Man mixtape; 2009)



Better than the original by that rapist 2Pac (© Fat Lace) and not just because it dispenses with the services of Danny Boy's cheesy caterwauling. Picture me rollin' in an alternate universe where all Danny Boy appearances on old Death Row joints are replaced by Nate Dogg crooning or Kurupt verses.

No nuts no glory

It's great to have Big Mike back, though whether Rick Ross is worthy of sharing a record with him is up for debate (also see : Cocaine by UGK ft. Rick Ross) but i digress.

Here at The Martorialist we're big fans of Willie D and consider his purple denim Witchfinder General outfit on the cover of We Can't Be Stopped one of the greatest ensembles ever but we truly love everything Big Mike, from his time in The Convicts with 3-2 to his classic solo work to, most importantly, the Big Mike incarnation of the Geto Boys circa the 'Til Death Do Us Part album and his solo track on there - No Nuts No Glory.

Geto Boys - No Nuts No Glory



And we're not the only ones as Geto Boys fanatic Beanie Sigel paid tribute to it on the first State Property album. Roc The Mic was the big single and all but this was the best track on there :

Beanie Sigel - No Glory



As classic as No Nuts No Glory is, it's really tempting to say that Beans slightly improved on the original here with No Glory, innit? At the very least he's rivaled it. It's all in the extra hazy horns and the "I'm so street like asphalt/I spit shit like my ass talk" line, chico.

Biz and the Jets.

Has there ever been a worse format for music than the flexi disc? Sure, they were usually magazine freebies and invariably featured a song which was otherwise unreleased but they always either ended up creased and unplayable after about 10 minutes or lost to the wind after a few weeks when you forgot what LP sleeve or book you stored them inside.

The latter fate is what became of my flexi-disc of Biz Markie's live cover of the Elton John hit Benny & The Jets which came with the second issue of the Beastie Boys vanity rag Grand Royale magazine. I've never managed to find my copy to this day, but thanks to the joys of Youtube I can now hear it again and even see Biz performing it live on the Chris Rock show. Take that, you fucking lost flexi-disc bastard!