Bloggin's not a movie, like J.D & Veronica I lean on 'em with the loogie

I wrote about Movie by Giftz for Deep Cuts on Complex. I think it's Giftz's 1st song of 2014 and it's pretty much my 2 favourite Giftz songs of 2013 in 1.

"Wise words from a decent man, I never heard those
My role model drove a Bentley with a four and a fur coat"

Giftz - Movie
(From the internet; 2014)

Generic list post: february 2014

Another token vanity round-up of songs your host has been feelin' the hardest this past month. January's edition may have resulted in the leak of the full version of Spice 1's Killa Days so this series has already proved its worth beyond being a personal log for my own future use.

Spice 1 - Killa Days (full version) (1992)
Mic Terror ft. DJ Gant-Man - Get Off My Dick (2014)
Loon - This Ain't Funny (2003)
ZMoney - Dope Boy Magic (2014)
Willie The Kid ft. Roc Marciano - Avalon (2014)
DB Tha General - Savage (2013)/Intro III (2014)
Skooly of Rich Kidz - Na Na Boo Boo (2009)
Zilla ft. Young Dolph - Yeen Said Nothin' (2014)
Mouse On Tha Track - Been A G Thang (2014)
Juvenile - Live Wire (2014)
JuJu ft. Tragedy Khadafi - Thriller (2014)
Cashy - Stupendous (2014)
Philthy Rich ft. D-Lo, Dolla Bill & Stevie Joe - Ready 2 Ride (2010)
J. Stalin ft. Too $hort - Fuck That (2014)
Adrian Marcel ft. Sage The Gemini & Problem - 2 AM remix (2014)
Being named after a fat Anglophile from Boston who listens to the Stone Roses is not a good look for ya boy, so say toodle-pip to Chris Thott and please raise a glass to your new host of The Martorialist: Si Mane Price.

The spirit of Mark B & Blade lives on

Never forget!

Yo, remember that time Noisey got a couple of black teenagers arrested for selling lean on Instagram, or that time Noisey paid some Brendon Soderberg weed carrier to fly to the windy city, pretend to be a smack addict, and then ask the people on the violence-ravaged streets of south side Chicago that burning question on everyone's lips: is Citgo a better song than Laughing To The Bank?

Well, Noisey just redeemed themselves for such travesties by letting the great Clive Martin -- the Norman Clegg to 2$hin's "Electric" Entwistle in this Rap Game 2010 episode of Last Of The Summer Wine -- finally tackle the depressing spectacle of UK Hip Hop club nights in his latest installment of Big Night Out: Do Brits Get Hip Hop? The scenes contained here will be all too familiar to anyone from this grey isle, but the high concentration of girls and non-white faces at such a night seems slightly unrealistic. There are ethnic people in Bristol other than those 2 mumbling stoner cunts who used to be in Massive Attack?

Is Anthony Fantano #problematic?

The Makin' Magic band is back together again with ZMoney, JNeal & Brickfare reuniting over a beat which sounds like it was made on a Bontempi keyboard by Anthony Fantano's "comedy" Mexican roommate Cal Chuchusta. Best ZMoney hook since Regular or wot?

"Cops do the cuffin' and the chasin'
IONDODAT!
Don't wantcha information
IONDODAT!
Tryna hold a conversation
IONDODAT!
Iondodat! IONDODAT! Iondodat!
Why dey do dat?"

ZMoney, JNeal & Brickfare - IONDODAT
(The internet; 2014)


Dunno about you guys and gals, but here at The Martorialist we're definitely catchin' a strong whiff of Jim Davidson's controversial black character Chalky meets Phil Collins in Genesis' much-reviled Illegal Alien video from Fantano's Cal Chuchesta persona.

Loonie Gee

My favourite discovery of 2014 so far. An associate described the song as "total Martorialist aesthetic", which may or may not have been meant as a compliment, but it's true: This Ain't Funny is what a Slick Rick single for early '00s Bad Boy would have sounded like and/or what Ma$e's Welcome Back should have sounded like.

But that does Loon a disservice because he kills this ("if Loon dies, wolves come out like moon rise/and make n*ggas hard to find like Mumbai"), demonstrates why having stooges like Shyne and goons like Anthony "Wolf" Jones on the Bad Boy payroll was paramount ("the code of the street is to hold ya own/if you're smart then you never got to hold no chrome"), and he deserves one great song to his name after being a part of two bona fide classic singles in Cali Chronic and I Need A Girl Part 2.

Loon - This Ain't Funny
(From Loon album; 2003)


This Ain't Funny is that one great song, and it should have been the third single from Loon's album with a video set in Spanish Harlem full of tracking shots of Puffy playing air-flamenco guitar while standing up in a moving drop-top 1930 Rolls Royce Phantom II that's chauffeured by Fonzworth Bentley. As for Loon, he'd be doing the invisible rope-pull dance down 106th Street with the chick who looked like Brandy from the Feel So Good video.

It's 2:26 PM

Ratchet & Bloke singers are a complicated-ass genre for me in 2014: Ty Dolla $ign needs less rappers on his music for me to listen to him, whilst everybody else needs more rappers on their music for me to make it to a 3rd listen; case in point, 2 AM by Adrian Marcel: the original solo version was cool but there was an existential void in the song just waiting for someone to come along fill it with some rapping about g-spots and exes.... step forward Sage The Gemini & Problem:

"It's 2 AM and I'm tryna get in there
Say X marks the spot, but your ex not in here"

Adrian Marcel ft. Sage The Gemini & Problem - 2 AM (Young California remix)
(From the internet; 2014)


Bonus beats: in-studio performance of Paranoid by Ty Dolla $ign & Joe Moses, which is as close as we're ever gonna get to the O.G version on YouTube now. Keep the original alive so your baby momma's/daddy's children's children will know there was a time when it wasn't ruined by B.o.B and French Montana & Trey Songz:


Ty goin' for that Legion Of Doom swag with the fingerless black & red leather glove on his right hand.

Fantasia

JuJu from the Beatnuts walks into a bar and asks Tragedy Khadafi if he wants to hop on a new solo song of his that fits into the Beatnuts' super Disco sample-tracks chamber alongside Give Me Tha Ass and We Got The Funk. Tragedy asks him if he's crazy, so big Ju' The German plays him the instrumental and suddenly Trag' goes all yung Anthony Fantano on datazz:


JuJu ft. Tragedy Khadafi - Thriller
(From the internet; 2014)


How did this record happen in 2014? How is it this good? How has Psycho Les not hopped on it yet? How is Anthony Fantano dancing so freely in jeans that are pulled up to 2 inches below his nipples?

All bad things come to an end sorta like Eckō

Wrote about La The Darkman's Ice Cold Guinness from the Willie The Kid & Bronze Nazareth album, and She Da One by Trouble from Kato of SMKA's Kato's Revenge compilation for the Deep Cuts round-up on Complex this week. Was considering writing about Shy Glizzy's La Introducción instead of the latter but then decided against it because I don't really have shit to say about that song other than it sounds like Larry Lifeless from Upside Down Cross doing a Gucci Mane impersonation:

Shy Glizzy - La Introducción
(From Young Jefe mixtape; 2014)