I dunno if you noticed, but Step AKA Jack The Snipper came up on a No DJ version of Black Rob's Permanent Scars/Live From The Eastside via DJ Mike Nice and dropped a post about it over on his turf. A post that just so happens to be written by me since I was the first person to upload the song to the 'net back in 2004.
Whaddaya know, this post presents another chance to link my fairly extensive Black Rob compilation of rarities, album cuts and various other odds 'n' sods. Fancy that.
The Clipse ft. Rosco P. Coldchain - Chinese New Year (From that overrated album which isn't as good as Lord Willin'; 2006)
Knew there was a really obvious omission in my unpopular opinions post : Skrung Out and Money Makin' Trick by Fam-Lay are better than any official song the Thornton brothers have been involved in since What Happened To That Boy.
Basically, Memphis this year >>>> ATLanta this year (apart from Brick Squad and the annual 2 great songs per annum by Soulja Boy) and Single needs to be as big in 2012 as Soul Survivor was in 2005, or, at the very least, bigger than Spend It, Tony Montana and Bussin' were in 2011 :
Yo Gotti ft. Stuey Rock - Single (From Live From The Kitchen; 2012)
If this place were a serious blog I'd have to say say something like ‘Yo Gotti makes sure we're all gonna have a white Christmas with Single’ at this point, but since I take not taking Rap seriously very seriously indeed I have nothing to offer you for the morrow except this screencap and the thought that Youtube comment sections have thankfully rendered the career of Weird Al Yankovic and other such zany peckerwoods making parody-Rap songs near-obsolete :
Bah humbug - we don't bother with an Xmas tree here at Martorialist H.Q and we're way too stingy to send cards & presents to anyone other than our most immediate of family & friends, but, foe tha love of Eazy-E, here's a Christmas cracka for all y'all :
Don't believe everything you hear in Rap lyrics, kiddies, or Santa Claus might take a reindeer check on paying you a visit this year. For example, Boosie would have us believe that Baton Rogue is all about them Clips And Choppers, but reality paints an entirely different picture :
Merry XXXmas to one and all from the UK chapter of the No Limit Soldier famalam! Here's hoping a dope fiend brings you exactly what you want and a bitch from up the street this Christmas morning.
Master P & C-Murder - 'Hood Carols (From High Fo' Xmas EP; 1994)
I suppose that means David is Paul Young and Done is Bono. HL, Mister Jay and Nyquil can fight over who ends up as Boy George and George Michael, but I'm staking a claim on being Phil Collins, aiight?
Young Bleed ft. C-Loc & Maxminelli - Better Than The Last Time
(From My Balls And My Word; 1998)
All Maxminelli wanted for Christmas on Better Than The Last Time was "12 gold teeth, a fresh candy blue jeep and a 4.4 heat", but what I'm gagging to find in my Xmas stocking this year is a remixed version of that song which has the ascending synth-waves which stimulate dog whistle-like alpha waves in the human brain that producer Happy Perez only uses during the first chorus appearing throughout the rest of the song. This makes it all the more frustrating that he didn't rectify the problem when he and Max recorded a sequel to it a year later for the Lay-Lo album :
Lay-Lo - Better Than The Last Time Part 2
(From Simple & Plain; 1999)
So, basically, today's topic is : those orgasmic little moments in Rap songs that you wish were longer. Go!
To make ammends for all the Suga Free songs I've posted this year, here's the trailer for 1988 Z-movie Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers where a bunch of Johns live up to their billing when they end up getting John Favara-ed by an Egyptian cult of chainsaw-wielding prostitutes led by that Gunnar Nelson bloke who played Leatherface in the O.G Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie :
While the scene where private detective Jack Chandler headbutts one of the 'tutes deserves to be mentioned alongside Jimmy Cagney kicking Virginia Mayo off the stool in White Heat and Lee Marvin throwing coffee in Gloria Grahame's face in The Big Heat as far as heinous acts towards women in the movies go, Hollywood Teenage Hookers probably won't be troubling Sight & Sound's upcoming 2012 poll of the greatest films of all time; though, lord knows, it's a better movie than 2001 : A Space Odyssey since it features such apparent trivialities to Stanley Kubrick as memorable characters and a coherent narrative, and it does have a better tagline than Citizen Kane, Tokyo Story, The Godfather 1 + 2, The Rules Of The Game and any of the other movies which made the last poll in 2002 :
The end credits promised a sequel called Student Chainsaw Nurses, which, according to Wikipedia, was never made. I wanna call it the Detox of late 80s horror-comedies but that shit would've been worth watching for the T&A alone, whereas I can't imagine Detox will have any redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Hey Rappers - if you really must insist on using your government name as your Rap moniker then you better have a really cool sounding one like Craig Mack or you're just going to sound like you're an accountant. Alternatively, if you can't be dissuaded to not use your government name or an approximation thereof of as your Rap handle and you're hellbent on going by the pseudonym of Steven Jo, then you can nullify all the nan-kidishness of the nom-de-plume by enlisting Waka and Riff Raff and making the 2011 I Smoke, I Drank :
Thanks to my man Chemical Alan for just linking me to this. Gunplay might've been a better fit for the track than Riff Raff, I suppose, but it works as it stands if we're thinking of it as this year's I Smoke, I Drank with the Rice Emperor playing the position of Young Bleed. Dude had me at "iced out my pet poodle, cool like a cooler/playin out in Pluto, playin' pool with the planets/right hand extended, diamonds on my granite/blew up on 20s understood/trunk sound like Van Damme it" and then he went and said "Rap game trampoline, transparent model in the avocado tahoe".
