Interrogation room I'm on mute, plus I'm senile

"I'm 16, got more money than your baby daddy
That's why I left a dirty condom in the car seat of the Cadi'"

J. Stalin - West Oakland N*gga
(From the forthcoming On Behalf Of The Streets Part 2 album; 2016)


"I don't want no Commies in my car" is a code to live by with regards to what gets play on your motor's stereo, but here at The Martorialist we're willing to make an exception for the breh breh babyface Stalin on those occasions when he's anchored by The Mekanix or DJ Fresh (or E-A-Ski & CMT if we wanna go way back to 2004.) Favourite slap tremenski by the 10th Street Tzar since Instagram Gangstaz.

Generic list post: September 2016

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when KanYe West and Kid Cudi argued about who wore skinny jeans first. The Cool Kids #actually predated everyone on this tip, and I'm 100% positive of this because of a 2007 message board thread about them where Will High was horrified to see rappers wearing tight kecks. That thread and the old Cool Kids MySpace page are long since lost to internet redesigns, but the Black Mags video from 9 years ago lives on as proof.

Slick Rick - Star Trek (1991)
King Louie - We Like To Party (2011/2016)
Tink - Aquafina (2016)
Ezale - Stop Come On (2016)
Yung Cat - Same N*ggas Who Popped Me (2016)
WNC Carlos - Keep A Glock (2016)
WNC Da Label - Who You Playing With (2016)
Big Baby D.R.A.M - Cash Machine (2016)
Tinashe - Company (2016)
Ty Dolla $ign - Stealing (2016)
DâM-FunK - Hazy Stomp (2016)
Spice - Siddung (2016)

Other notables: Mozzy's Messy Murder Scenes, Lil' Chris' Public Housing and DJ Quik's Black Friday are all songs I like but have to be in a certain mood for; Go Crazy is the only one of those 3 new T.E.C & Maine Musik songs I kinda dig and I'm far more excited about a possible sequel to Social Media Gangsta; Chinx's Crown Royal is the song French's Ocho Cinco should have been; Nef The Pharaoh's new mixtape doesn't deserve to be thought of a anything more than a bunch of songs which weren't good enough to make his album; Always Something has been my shit but the rest of A-Wax's new LP Pushin' Keyz sounds pretty stale and he should probably take a break from using Non-Stop as his main producer.

Breaking news: Yanks still mad that Fancy was the biggest rap song of 2014!

If there's one rapper who isn't allowed to take potshots at Iggy Azalea, it's the guy who took Kitty Pryde on tour and then fawned over Anthony Fantano with her. Get back in the car, Danny.

Remember when I wrote the best Iggy Azalea think piece of all time? I can hold you down like I'm givin' lessons in tying me Kangaroo, sport.

DāM, homie...

DāM-FunK - Hazy Stomp
(From Architecture EP; 2016)


This latest DāM-FunK track ain't exactly a brand new slap that'll park you like a Cadillac, but it's definitely the type of fonk Suga Free could spit gospel about puttin' birds on the track to. Some days, however, all you need is a lush groove that's free from other people's words and worldviews. Also see:

DJ Fresh - Interlude of the Funk
(From Ezale & DJ Fresh's Tonite Show album; 2016)


Am I correct in thinking that the DJ Fresh track sounds more like DāM-FunK than the DāM-FunK track itself?

I tink I love her

"Peepin' you and you peepin' me and I wanna give you this & some
Guaranteed that by the time you leave you'll be singin' 'bout it like an anthem
Would it be right, if I stay the night, give it all to you?
And I'm not in love, but I feel a buzz, it's what I wanna do"

Tink - Aquafina
(From Winter's Diary 4 mixtape; 2016)


Capital C Choon alert. If you mentally change that "if I let you hit this cup you'll be saucy as Post Malone" lyric in the 2nd verse to "if I let you hit this cup I'll be sauceless like Post Malone" then Aquafine is the closest Tink has ever gotten to Waviness. The only thing more depressing than blk lasses sweatin' A$AP Folky is blk lasses sweatin' Milkavelli AKA the son of a banker-turnt-an unholy British hybrid of Yung Lean & Lil' Ugly Mane. Tumblr unleashed so many horrors which still linger in the internet's grubbiest outposts.

So face reality, black, you're on Star Trek

Slick Rick - Star Trek
(From The Ruler's Back recording sessions; 1991)


Like Captain Caveman, Star Trek is one of those bugged-out concept songs Slick Rick recorded with Vance Wright for The Ruler's Back album which didn't see the light of day until the mid noughties. There's an also-unreleased Large Professor mix which tends to be considered the official version by yer boom-bap experts, but the O.G here is Hanna-Barbera boopity-boop shit par excellence. Truthfully, Quincy Jones could have remixed Star Trek with the sounds of Martian babes making first contact and it still wouldn't have mattered because there was no way Def Jam was ever going to release a song where Mr. Spock wanted to boldly go where Das Racist and Yung Gleesh went after him.

Generic list post: Get Too Deep In That Water And They Can't Save Ya!

"Bitch, I be in that water like some sand!"


10 rap songs that former British quiz game Rick "The Model" Martel CJ de Mooi could have jammed when drowning tramps in Amsterdam. Your shit is underground, my shit is underwater:

A-Wax - Gone Fishin' (2013)
AZ - Bodies Gotta Get Caught (2000)
Spice 1 - 187 He Wrote (1993)
Big Lurch - I Did It To You (2004)
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Murder Was The Case (Remix) (1994)
Necro - Dead Body Disposal (2001)
Soulja Boy - Came Out The Water (2012)
Kool G. Rap - Executioner Style (1995)
Wooh Da Kid ft. Waka Flocka Flame & Bo Deal - Body Bag (2010)
Gravediggaz - 6 Feet Deep (1994)

Breakin' Atoms

What's left of Albert Einstein's decayed todger rose from the grave when he heard what Spice compared her pum to on this one. The wicked witch of St. Catherine via Finsbury Park is just takin' the fackin' piss right now because Siddung's hook is possibly the most downright evil Auto-Tune has ever sounded. Proper Alpha 60 vybz.

Spice - Siddung
(From t'internet; 2016)


Added this one to my best of Spice 2014/2015/2016 playlist, natch.