Generic list post: january 2016

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when rap went from Invasion Of The Flat Booty Bitches to Invasion Of The Flat-Earth Truthers.

Had fun posting about everything from Grand Puba deep cuts to U.K handbag-house classix to David Bowie giving his blessing to Suga Free's most hateful song to Only Fools & Horses back tattoos to the best slaps of the past half-decade this month. Had WAY more fun away from t'internet blastin' these songs, though. Hat tip to RMH for the BallGreezy track - who'd a thunk Waviness woulda been splashin' up on the Miami strip club circuit back in 2007?

Melle Mel - Westwood freestyle (1994)
BallGreezy - Shone (2007)
AV LMKR - Money Dance (2015)
Lil' Yase & Yatta - Get It In (2015)
Nef The Pharaoh - No Masturbation (2015)
Nef The Pharaoh ft. Philthy Rich - #Saydaat (2016)
Ka - Delaney Card (2016)
Boosie - Forgive Me Being Lost (2016)
Boosie - Smile To Keep From Crying (2016)
HotStylz - TONIK (The Only N*gga I Know) (2016)
Colonel Loud ft. Too $hort, Snoop & Ricco Barrino - California (remix) (2016)
Jacquees - Know You (2016)
Dami Bones ft. Kamo, Prince & Notch - Da Beat (2015)
Kwamz & Flava - Take Over (2016)
Popcaan - Wicked Man Thing (2015)
Popcaan - Tight Pussy Wine (2016)
Spice - Sight & Wine (2016)

Other notables: also really dug Devils Team by Nef & The Pharaoh & Mozzy; woulda dug Mozzy's Be Here if it weren't for the cack hook which sounds like it's been copy & pasted in from another song entirely; ditto Candy Red by Slim 400 et al; waitin' to dig Ezale's Day One but it still only exists as an Instagram snippet.

British man posts songs from Soundcloud

Lil' Yase - Gigalo
(From Soundcloud; 2015)


First time I listened to Lil' Yase's Gigalo I was like "yo, why is the Get It In guy makin' this ironic Wavery-core fuckery?" Second time I listened to Gigalo I was like "oh, this kinda sounds like DB Tha General if he'd signed to Thizz Entertainment and taken advantage of the copious amounts of MDMA the label was trafficking, though." Third time I listened to Gigalo I was like "whoa, THIZZZZZZZZZ IS IT!"

New Age Muzik - Da Beat
(From Soundcloud; 2015)


First time I listened to Da Beat by New Age Muzik I was like "yo, is Abrantee playing a new Kwamz & Flava tune?" Second time I listened to Da Beat I was like "oh, it's some other British brehs also infusing Aftobeats with rap." Third time I listened to Da Beat I was like "whoa, the U.K/Africa crossover hasn't produced anything this downright sensual since the days of Soul II Soul!"

I'm on the phone talkin' like it's just you & me

LOL how's Max B sang-rapping over the phone from prison on top of a Dilla instrumental still better than 90% of N.Y rap made during the past half decade? Dame Grease initially released this track as Max's official response to KanYe West calling his new album Waves, but later admitted it's just an older recording he's had in the stash for a while. Regardless, if the Yeezy Boost fits, wear that shit:

Max B - My Wave (Message For KanYe West)
(From Dame Grease's Audiomack; 2016)


Riddle me this, folks: how come Di World Boss Vybz Kartel can record new music from his prison cell in Jamaica, yet the Boss Don Max Biggavelz can only record over the phone from prison in AmeriKKKa? Addi certainly ain't innocent, but Charly plausibly could be given the circumstantial evidence. Give that man a laptop with Pro Tools already, Bergen County!

If I sin God forgive me but my baby need Pampers

"Mama strugglin', Grannie watch us, gangsta patnas, oh my
Can't afford it so we stole it, we was roaches, no lie
Saw my first body dead in the street at 8, oh my
Lil' Glenn just blew his brains out with his own fo' five"

Boosie - Forgive Me Being Lost
(From In My Feelings (Goin' Thru It) album; 2016)


The other Boosie song I really really really fuxwit from his latest album now has a video too. Much like Howlin' Wolf asked for water and then got gasoline, Boosie asked for money to buy nappies but life just gave him more shit instead.

Boycie Da 5'9

This is like when wotshisface from Prison Break had that all-over tattoo done, but instead of it being a map of a secrete escape route outta the bing, this tattoo contains the answer to that immortal question: why did Trigger call Rodney Dave?

Never forget the Ruthless Records/Only Fools And Horses analogue me & Bradley came up with back in 2013.

Generic list post: the slap files (2010 - 2015)

Catch ya boy Foxx Mulduh hibernatin' like Eugene Tooms this afternoon, feasting on the slaps of NorCal rappers rather than the livers of dead humans. Decided to turn my contentment into #content with a generic list post of the 50 best northern California slaps made during the past 5 years as decided by a complete outsider to California Livin'. You don't like 'em? Respectfully kiss my arse 'til your lips bleed. Alternatively, drop them glaring omissions in the comments.

Too $hort - Bitch I'm A Pimp (2010)
E-40 ft. B-Legit - 43 (2012)
Droop-E ft. Nite Jewel & J. Stalin - 'N The Traffic (2013)
Cousin Fik - Knocka N*gga Down (2012)
22nd Letter - Blunt On Me (2015)
Clyde Carson ft. The Team - Slow Down (2012)
Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2013)
Dru Down ft. The Jacka - Hello Hello Hello (2012)
The Jacka ft. Dru Down & Joe Blow - The President's Face (2014)
Berner & The Jacka ft. Rydah J. Clyde - One Sound (2015)
Husalah - Da Mob (2011)
Mob Figaz - Loyal To The Mob (2011)
Joe Blow - The Dopest (2012)
Dubb 20 ft. Husalah - Been A While (2012)
NhT Boyz - Slidin' (2010)
A-Wax & Gonzoe ft. C-Murder - Natural Disasterz (2010)
A-Wax - Trainwreck (2014)
Bobby Brackins - Jon And Kate Plus 8 (2010)
Messy Marv - Real N*gga (2011)
HD of Bearfaced - 40 Glock USA (remix) (2012)
Young L - Young L-E-N (2010)
Lil B - Look Like Jesus (2010)
J. Stalin ft. The Jacka - Red & Blue Lights (2010)
Lil' Blood ft. J. Stalin - Sell My Coke (2010)
Philthy Rich ft. D-Lo & Stevie Joe - Ready To Ride (2010)
Beeda Weeda - Baserock Babies (2010)
Eddi Projex ft. Beeda Weeda - Gettin' G's (2010)
Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci (2011)
Lil' Debbie - I Do My Thang (2014)
Keak Da Sneak - Maxi Pads (2010)
HBK Gang - She Ready (2010)
IamSu - Don't Matter (2011)
Sage The Gemini - Don't You (2013)
Show Banga ft. Sage The Gemini - I Been That (2014)
D-Mac ft. Sage The Gemini & Show Banga - Panoramic (2013)
Jay Ant - Ask Y.B (2014)
DB Tha General - Upgrade 'Em 2 (2011)
DJ Upgrade ft. Rico Tha Kidd - Hey Girl (2013)
Roach Gigz ft. Kreayshawn - Pussy Magnet (2013)
Young Lox - Legion Of Doom (2014)
D-Lo - Choppa Dance (2013)
Andre Nickatina ft. The Jacka - Square Crows (2011)
Mozzy - Wet Woozy Wop Em and Wolly (2013)
Nef The Pharaoh - Big Tymin' (2015)
Corn ft. Nef The Pharaoh - Old School Hyphy (2015)
The 99 Percent - Shabooyah! (2014)
Thug Lordz ft. Tha Realest - Mean Muggin' (2010)
Baby Bash ft. Baeza & G. Curtis - Certified Freak (2014)
Kamaiyah ft. Zay M - Out The Bottle (2015)
Lil' Yase & Yatta - Get It In (2015)

Ain't even worth anyone compiling this into a Spotify playlist since you can't find Foreal Foreal, Knocka N*gga Down, Blunt On Me, Baserock Babies, 40 Glock USA (remix). Young L-E-N, Look Like Jesus, Jon And Kate Plus 8 or Out The Bottle on there, and this list would be woefully incomplete without their presence.

Go to Hell and be a felon before I snitch and go to Heaven

Nef The Pharaoh ft. Mozzy - Devils Team
(From Nef The Pharaoh & Cardo's Neffy Got Wings mixtape; 2016)


How ironic that the most Kush & OJ-soundin' ass song on Nef The Pharaoh & Cardo's collaboration mixtape should by the one featuring mainey Mozzy, huh? Typically, the highlights of Neffy Got Wings are the previously released #Saaydatt and Michael Jackson, but combine Devils Team here with those 2 jams you've got yourself a nice little imaginary maxi-cassette single. If anyone professionally reviewing the Nef & Cardo 'tape wants to use Thizz Khalifa as a descriptor for its aesthetic then plz donate the £5 you'll owe me to charity thanx.

I tried to get away but I couldn't get far, because I saw my man Westwood out by the bar

Step Guardiola upped a Melle Mel freestyle over The Message on Westwood in 1994 where Rap's original 'roid rager performs his famous verse in full and then flips Duke Bootee's 2 verses with a twist of vinegar for the fish & chips massive:

"John Major's ringin' Westwood's phone
So he can throw a jam at Nate Dogg's home"

Melle Mel - The Message freestyle
(From Westwood's Radio 1 show; 1994)


It's the C.O.D Father Part III, mushy peas, sippin' on some badly-brewed tea.