Congratulations to tpp

You on the continent and I ain't the type to write a postcard, but just know you dropped my favourite rap-pun of 2015. Bravo, lid.

When 2015 dies don't bury it in a suit, just play Freak Of The Week or House Every Weekend on the stroke of midnight in Havana's tonight and I'm smooth.

Generic list post: december 2015

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when a bunch of boring websites let a bunch of boring people to try and convince us that a couple of dullards like Jamie xx and Carly Rae Jepsen made the best music of 2015. Playin' catch-up on earlier 2015 gems I'd missed via other people's year-end lists so I ain't listen to much new rap this month, tbh.

Junglepussy - Bling Bling (2014)
Hott Headzz - Hmmm (2015)
Ezale - I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothin' (2015)
1WayFrank - JuggMan (2015)
Jidenna - Long Live The Chief (2015)
Jeremih - Pass Dat (2015)
The Voices Of East Harlem - Run, Shaker Life (1971)
Culture Club - Time (Clock Of The Heart) (1982)
Kwamz & Flava - Tonight (2015)

Other notables: I love 50 Cent like RZA & Kool G. Rap loved Cakes, but he had no business guesting on YG's I Wanna Benz; Kamaiyah's How Does It Feel goes downhill after the tropical mob music bass suddenly vanishes 18 seconds in so I dunno why everyone is jockin' it instead of the far superior Out The Bottle; the all-star remix of I Look Fly by Trill Youngins isn't as good as the Martorialist edit; Nef the Pharaoh's No Masturbation doesn't pull off the victory-lap concept song trick as well as YG's 2015 Flow did this time last year.

R.I.P Lemmy from Motörhead

When life gives you Lemmöns, make Limondade...

Reasons why I love YouTube part whatever

Funny how a video can sell you on a song you'd previously dismissed as merely aiight, innit? It was always gonna be an impossible task for Ezale to find original production which equals that of the Larry Smith and DJ Mustard classics he'd jacked in 2013, but the modest slap of I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothin' sounds so much more tremedo when paired with moving images of him in the midst of the worst comedown of his life before his mind rewinds back to the night before where he's Thizzfacing around the function like some Phunky Phat Graph-X-ized hybrid of Jackie Chain & Animal from The Muppets.

Ezale - I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothin'
(From YouTube; 2015)


Hold tight all the Oakland rappers tryna chirpse lasses who're more interested in meetin' Sage The Gemini.

Late pass!

Hott Headzz - Hmmm
(From YouTube; 2015)


A Chicago hit with 5 million views and counting ya host was oblivious to the existence of until Drake mentioned it as another example of 2015 viral-bait with bars on my post about Lil' Twon & Playa Gator's Bruh remix, Hmmm by Hott Headzz is what woulda happened if Hot Stylz remade Juvenile's Ha with lyrics about eatin' ass like a variety of edibles in the style of Lil' Herb & Lil' Bibby. These lads get a pass on actin' like rimmin' is still some shocking act of kinkiness, but rappers need to step their fetish game up in 2016 - go eat the placenta like groceries or go home.

Just sayin', bruv # 13

If there's one thing millennials have got right, it's their contempt for Star Wars. This is, after all, a mediocre franchise with one decent movie to its name which initially existed to sell toys to kids and only exists 37 years later to sell tie-in tat to '70s baby menchildren inflicting their childhoods on their own kids. Moreover, this is the franchise which single-handedly ended the wildest decade of American cinema and helped birth everything terrible about Hollywood post-1980: sequels, prequels, reboots, redubs, rejigs, movies that are composite sketches of other movies, movies by Kevin Smith.

There are, in fact, only 2 minor positives to emerge from the whole toxic debacle of Star Wars. The first is Carrie Fisher as an 80s equivalent of Liz Taylor in Cleopatra, the second is Max B saying "Luke I am your father!" as he mercilessly clowned Hell Rell & his mum on French Montana's Cokedog Millionaire DVD. The Wave >>>>> The Force:

Martorial elegance # 84

When Papoose has swapped his oversized fitted cap for a fedora you know the Drydick Rando-ification of rap music is officially underway. F**k a Hoop Dream, I am way under the brim:

Fat Joe walks up to Papoose and asks him "what's your favourite album of mine?" The perma-sullen faced Papoose mulls it over for 5 seconds and then replies "JLS One's Envy!"

Kiss of death like I'm Ernest Baker?

2015 was the year we first experienced just how disastrously a Drake cosign could backfire, but I ain't even mad at The Canadian for vanting to zuck Nef The Pharaoh's blood. Fangs ain't what they used to be in the music industry for yer budding regional stars, so if Count Drakula wants to take a bite out of Nefidelaphante then it's A-okay with me as long as Nef's music finds its way into more radio playlists and Aubrey Lugosi keeps his dulcet whines away from Big Tymin', Michael Jackson, and Come Pick Me Up.

Keep Drake's vocals away from Nef's grotty sex-jam Boss Me too - the world's an unpleasant enough place as it is right now without being subjected to bags of sand-raps from a bloke who drinks bags of milk.