Generic list post: december 2014

2015 will be touchin' down to cause Hell in 14 hours or so and yet the human race still doesn't look anywhere near as futuristic as the Jonzun Crew did in 1983. Damn, homie! In the '80s everything was goin' to plan, man, homie - the fuck happened to us?

Here the customary list of songs I've been listenin' to during the month when Jarvis Cocker died and Shy Glizzy finally made a track where his uncanny vocal similarity to Larry Lifeless from Kilslug & Upsidedown Cross actually worked to his advantage.

Shy Glizzy - Funeral (2014)
Ca$h Out - I Want The Money (2014)
The Jacka ft. Dru Down & Joe Blow - The President's Face (2014)
TREE & Chris Crack - Naan (1992)
Kid Ink - Cool Back (2014)
Kevin Gates - In My Feelings (2014)
Fabolous ft. French Montana - Ball Drop (2014)
French Montana - Dontchu (2014)
Lil' Debbie - Fleek (2014)
White Gzus - Money Up (2014)
Show Banga ft. Kool John - Ain't Gotta Lie (2014)
Kurious Jorge - Best In The World (2014)
Psycho Les ft. Royal Flush, Tragedy Khadafi & Illa Ghee - Thunderbells (2014)
Lucci - Kno No Better (2014)

Heard the Psycho Les et al song on EttelThun's best of 2014 compilation and shit is the ideal B-side to that JuJu & Tragedy disco joint. Unfortunately you can now only find it online as a radio rip due to the video gettin' yanked from YouTube because of an uncleared Bob James sample, so plz tell me someone out there ripped the audio before them DMCA boyz struck?

Should probably acknowledge this new Roscoe Dash single too. Artwork is certainly more tasteful than it could have been, right?

I feel like Fabo(lous)

He might occasionally come across as the Chief Keef fanboy nation's Chris Crocker, but David Drake does seem to have a knack for sniffing out great tracks by Mic Terror's Treated Crew mate Gzus Piece that've gone hitherto unnoticed on t'internet. Previously there was 2012's Gimme That Cash and now there's Money Up as spotted on Drake's 2014 year end songs list:

White Gzus - Money Up
(From Stackin' N Mackin' mixtape; 2014)


Fucked up thing is I listened to the White Gzus mixtape, honed in on Top as its undisputed highlight since Gzus Piece seems to thrive best over beats with lots of space for him to nonchalantly dispense heaps of zingers in a John Jackson stylee, uploaded the tagless version to Audiomack, and then kept it movin', utterly oblivious to the fact that the project's other great song was tucked away 15 tracks deep on a 16 track mixtape. If only the wack 2014 Treated Crew album had sounded like Money Up or Top.

White Gzus - Top
(From Stackin' N Mackin' mixtape; 2014)

2014: the year when white ppl were early adopters to the hottest new ‘urban’ memes

"Turn up, po' up, roll up, smoke up
Real bitch role call, none of y'all show up"

Lil' Debbie - Fleek
(From Young Bitch mixtape; 2014)


Urban Dictionary needs to link this post as the official entry for Fleek, imho.

Amifrankwite

As anybody who's ever seen the 2003 King Of New York DVD's menu screen can attest, Schoolly D songs are best experienced when set to a loop of Frank White dancing in his luxury hotel suite with Jim Jump & the goons. True story, I spent the last 15 minutes in the bath staring at this GIF with Gangster Boogie on repeat and then came outta that water like I was just baptized in the root beer which so eluded Jim at the Chinese restaurant. Try it yourselves - you're welcome, you're all welcome etc etc:



Schoolly D - Gangster Boogie
(From Am I Black Enough For You? album; 1989)

The Coldest Rap back

Chris Brown's rapping stuntman Kid Ink is a Great Singles Artist™ who is much underrated at his craft online because the rap internet is a strange place where tuneless ironic Tumblr-rappers like Yung Gleesh and Mass Appeal-orchestrated okie dokes like Your Old Droog can both flourish. As 2014 draws to a close, he's ratcheted his Great Singles Artist™ steez up a notch and is now dropping songs which function as great B-sides too. Tbf, Cool Back here slaps just fine as a single in its own right, but for the best results bump it after Body Language and pretend it's the flipside to that song:

"Walk right by get her wet in the coocha
Steal your bitch, n*gga, like King Koopa"

Kid Ink - Cool Back
(From the internet; 2014)


To paraphrase Westwood's favorite maxim whenever he plays No Type - I'm not picky, just give me anything that slaps like a Ratchet overhaul of '80s Ice-T and I'm grateful.

Dennis the Menace? You Dennis the Rodman

Damn, homie - TREE's gonna be persona non grata in his own city after that line from this highlight offa the new TREE X Chris Crack EP. Dude can no longer go out in Chicago.. and he from Chicago!!!

TREE & Chris Crack - Naan
(From Tree + Crack EP; 2014)


Can't believe the @MCTREEG EP is gettin' so royally shafted in all these year end lists I've read. Probably Nu It, Like Whoa, Soultrappin/I Believe, and God Like are all better than any song on half these bullshit albums and EPs from 2014. No shots, just facts.

No one on the rap internet is going to let you play their reindeer games

Season's greetings of da Siccness to those of you currently browsing The Martorialist with your new tablet devices on the one day of the year when it's acceptable to listen to Aled Jones over Young Jeezy. Ho Ho Ho - that was a crap Snowman joke right there for all the U.K famalam from ya boy Zanta Claus right chea.

All Martorialist readers are hereby required to celebrate this Christmas day the way jolly old Saint Newcleus intended by listening to at least one song from the High Fo' Xmas album by Master P & the West Coast Bad Boyz. Long before Byrdgang wished us a Merry Piffmas or Agallah extolled the virtues of a different type of Xmas tree, the Miller brothers and their not-so merry band of Richmond-era No Limit elves were bastardizing some of the most beloved Christmas carols and making Death Row's similar foray into the festive cash-in market sound like a Yuletide log in comparison.

In case Santa's never dropped the album down your chimney previously, ya boy Father D.V Alias Khristmas right chea has uploaded it for you tonight as a late stocking filler. Download that shit here, all my goons, goblins & grinches.

Reasons why I love YouTube # 65

From me & mines to you & yours this Xmas eve, here's Kurtis Blow lip-syncing his way through Christmas Rappin' on Top Of The Pops in january 1980. The video for Rapper's Delight had appeared on TOTP in late 1979 but this performance was the first time a rapper appeared live on national U.K TV. Props to Kurtis for introducing rap music to this great nation of mine whilst dressed like the sort of mid-tier New Jersey mobster who made his living bootlegging dodgy imported Color Climax movies to flog to 42nd Street's seediest pornography stores.


Kurtis achieved maximum Lifestyle Synergy by wearing such a suit for his Top Of The Pops debut since TOTP was the show which turned Jimmy Savile into a household name, and that fooken' nonce probably owned every last dodgy imported Color Climax movie.

Related - Generic list post: R.I.P Larry Smith edition.