Ayo Rey - Dope by Tha Joker was definitely my favourite song on your list

Kinda feel like Tha Joker didn't really capture the song's lugubrious essence in the video, though, bruv, as it surely called for him to channel Juelz et Jim by sitting in the middle of his block pretending to tinkle the ivories and/or gallivanting around with a child's umbrella in the rain on said block :

"I'm gone off xanax and codeine
my momma tellin' me I'm a dope fiend"

Tha Joker - Dope
(From The Phenom album; 2011)


Other blogs would pro'lly describe this as Future without the frequencies or a bigger budget interpretation of one of Foxx's blackout-ballads, but here at The Martorialist the whole damn team agree that Dope is more like the new Sober by Jae Millz : i.e. what happens when a fairly generic punchline Rapper accidentally chances on an incredible piano-laden beat that's way too good for him, realises his plebian ass is way outta its depth and strives for something more transcendental; the something more transcendental in this instance being a soundtrack for dejected strippers to wipe the tears from their eyes with crumpled $5 bills as they're spreading their puckered brown eyes wide open.

Top 3 things I've learned from the 100GrandOnMyWrist 2012 collabo post

1. That story about Husalah having no idea who Feva is or how his verses ended up on Handsome and HighSide is really true.

2. I completely forgot about that Philthy Rich joint with DB Tha General, which is way more deserving of a place on my best songs of 2012 list than 3 Bitches At The Same Time.

3. The only thing more popular with Thomas' cabal of buddies from the Rap innanet than Cousin Fik songs/songs featuring Cousin Fik is some dope HD & G-Dirty joint with a Marvin Gaye sample that even Thomas had slept-on.

Check the post and my contribution here.

Rap game Stoke City

In which Baton Rogue Rap's answers to the Brooklyn Brawler, Salvatore Sincere and Bob Holly converged for a no-star remix of It B Going Down and somehow went I Smoke, I Drank on 'em. Really wish somebody had told me about this hometown B.R club anthem earlier because Dope Man and I Try were the only Mista songs which made much of a ripple on the Rap internet in 2012 and this sub-zero remix galumphs so much harder than either of those :

"Bitches on our dick, I can't blame 'em 'cuz we popular
big long dick have you screamin' like a opera"

Mista ft. Level & Young Ready - Going Down (G mix)
(From Cain Muzik 2.0 mixtape; 2012)


For the 3 readers who care about Baton Rogue Rap minutiae as deeply as I do, Mista and Young Ready are the Rappers Foxx nonchalantly eviscerated on Shut Up earlier this year. While my fanboy flag is firmly planted in the #TeamFoxx camp, it's practically impossible for me to dislike any track featuring Young Ready that's a direct bambino of the 1 Rubber type 3-way B.R stomp stupendo' :

"Toot that ass and leave it up, sh-sh-she left me speechless
went extra hard, she drained my nuts, sh-sh-she left me skeetless"

Young Ready ft. C-Loc & Max Minelli - 1 Rubber
(From Tha Camp.. Break It Off album; 2007)

Martorial elegance : A-Mafia edition

Not even mad that Realest N*gga In My City has turned out to be the best cut on the new A-Mafia mixtape because it's a top 3 N.Y joint of 2012 and attests to 'Mafia's insistence that The War Report is his favourite Rap CD, nor am I particularly mad that he's featured the Real Live Pro remix on no less than 4 successive mixtapes now because he probably paid a pretty penny for 2 Chainz's presence so he might as well get his money's worth since the video has yet to hit 50 thousand views.

What am I am visibly umadd about is that the best new cut on the 'tape has been bestowed with an in-studio performance video where our host is wearing a hoody made by Super Dry AKA the piss-poor pretend-Japanese British brand beloved of sports science student wankers, casual dads who are way too old to be wearing tacky heavily logo-ed clothing, provincial banter lads who think Top Man Rihanna t-shirts & elasticated chinos are for benders, and racially confused yout's who can't afford Jack Wills :

"Some days it was no meals
everything no frills
how I'ma ride my bike when it ain't got no wheels?"

A-Mafia - Story Of My Life
(From Straight Savage mixtape; 2012)


My worst Rap nightmare writ large has got me all Natalie Imbruglia : on one hand, A-Mafia's heartbreaking tale of growing up poor on Story Of My Life makes me want to give him a firm, manly bro-hug; on the other hand, I can't possibly emotionally invest in a Rapper who wears clothes worn by the worst sub-sections of British society.

God bless Thomas from 100GrandOnMyWrist

Remember a couple of years back when Beeda Weeda's Baserock Babies blew everyone's speakers to the extent where it even had misery guts Boom-Bap dinosaur's car stereos doing backflips? This new Beeda posse slap with Messy Marv, B-Legit and J. Stalin that Thomas just posted should have the same effect :

"I don't shoot for the stars, I like to shoot 'em down
I'm like a u-haul truck the way I move around
scuba divin' through the water, n*ggas usually drown
I find a way to put it down off in any town"

Beeda Weeda ft. Messy Marv, B-Legit & J. Stalin - Mack'n & Mobb'n
(From Mack'n, Trap'n & Rap'n 2 mixtape; 2012)


B-Legit cameos in 2011/2012 are basically the modern day equivalent of pre-Illmatic Nas verses, IMO.

Fat Lace back! (again)

Drew and Dan take time out from spending their porn baron/jet-setting DJ loot to drop a new spodcast featuring a caboodle of classics and hidden jams by Chill Rob G, the Beatnuts, Salt 'N' Pepa, the New Style, Disco 4, Spyder D etc as well as some super secrete & rare Texa$ shit by BKA Rock and a cut by the U.M.C.'s side project group 321 :

Did you guys enjoy the latest Twitter spat between David Drake and Brendan Soderberg or not?

Tweetz is talkin' about how Rap blogger beefs just ain't as good as the halcyon days of 2004 - 2008 no mo', but who pwned who the hardest during that most recent SoManyShrimp versus No Trivia tiff?

Aren't cheap shoots involving David Drake's Google Alert settings for ‘Chief Keef review’ pretty funny even when they come from a rapist-protecting idiot savant like Brendan Soderberg??

Should Drake hire a ghostwriter for his future Twitter beefs with Soderberg since he failed to get a single zinger in regarding the jaw-dropping irony of a SPIN hack who writes favourable reviews for his industry friends/unfavorable reviews of Rappers connected to his Twitter enemies recently complaining that the Village Voice has "no integrity"???

Is the Rap blogosphere finally going to get its very own Will High versus Vordul situation in 2013 now Drake and Soderberg reside in the same city????

Letter To My Son by Don Trip was a shit song

Thankfully Grip Plyaz is here for all you dudes out there IRL struggling with erstwhile baby-momma drama this Christmas who don't want to listen to an overly-earnest $tarlito wannabe who completely misses the point by Rapping with TOO MUCH EMPHASISSSSS. Sendin' this one out to official extended Martorialist famalam Chemical Alan and Scotty Dee :

"I can't believe she tried to play me
shawdy took my son and drove a n*gga slap crazy"

Grip Plyaz - Child Support
(From Purp, Wind And Fire album; 2012)


It's a testament to how phantasmagorically good Child Support is that it could pass as a lost DJ Quik & Robert Bacon-produced cut for Backbone on the Dungeon Family compilation album. You cheap bastards have no excuse in not downloading the six good songs from Purp, Wind And Fire now you no longer have to pay for them. Just ignore the three songs featuring Trinidad James on a general point of principle even if one of them is actually pretty good, okay? Naw, neo-Rap space cadet, this ain't the place for dat.