Johnson is the P.M but I voted for Shirley Manson

Evidently the man himself was the only person who didn't see it coming, but Jeremy Corbyn has turned out to be the post-2006 Arsene Wenger of British politics: stubbornly idealistic, defensively weak, strategically naive, enabled by fawning dickriders, too consumed by his own anachronistic vision to realise he's dragging his organisation back to the 80s, and the ultimate specialist in failure. Analogy-wise, John McDonnell would be the Steve Bould to Corbyn's Wenger, and both Corbyn & McDonnell should now sod off and join Bouldy in whatever skip he's currently sleeping in behind the Emirates Stadium.

Tony Blair's three successive demolitions of the Tory party coincided with Arsene Wenger's purple patch as Arsenal manager. Alas, the only traits Labour and Arsenal presently share are toxic fanbases and a pathological inability to choose the right man to lead them. There's a myriad of reasons why Corbyn was the wrong man for the top job, one of which is that he inspired the worst thinkpiece Simon "Grimey Simey" Reynolds has ever written (no mean feat.) Not a lotta people know this, but Grimey Simey's weed-carrier Matthew "Woebot" Ingram went to Eton with David Cameron and Boris Johnson. Conclusive proof that Hauntology is for Tories or wot?

Speaking of Grimey Simey's weed-carriers, the most unfathomable question of the 2010s is this: how did Mark "K-Punk" Fisher go from being a universally-mocked pseud to being considered one of the profound thinkers of our age? Conclusive proof that you can't trust people or wot?