Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Generic list post: worst of the worst 2000 - 2015

A canon which deserves to be put before the cannons and blasted into smithereens. Consider this post a gauntlet laid down to the entire internet - I challenge thee to top this shower of shite with your own list of the worst rap song every year thus far this century.

Mos Def - Umi Says (2000)
El-P - Stepfather Factory (2001)
Jay-Z ft. Beyonce - '03 Bonnie & Clyde (2002)
Immortal Technique - Industrial Revolution (2003)
Mos Def - Anything from his Godawful rock album (2004)
Sage Francis - Escape Artist (2005)
KanYe West ft Keyshia Cole & Twista - Impossible (2006)
Jay Electronica - Eternal Sunshine (The Pledge) (2007)
Das Rapists - Combination Pizza Hut And Taco Bell (2008)
Drake ft. KanYe West, Lil' Wayne & Eminem - Forever (2009)
A$AP Rocky ft. A$AP Ferg - Get High (2010)
Dr. Dre ft. Eminem & Skylar Grey - I Need A Doctor (2011)
John Boy & Shawty Boy - Drug Dat Hoe (2012)
A$AP Ferg ft. A$AP Rocky - Shabba (2013)
Eminem ft. Sia - Guts Over Fear (2014)
Mystikal - Robert Dinero (2015)

Technically, Umi Says was released in 1999, but its sheer rottenness transcends such trivialities as time and space. Plus, it didn't become a single until 2000 so its inclusion is a slight stretch of the rules rather than an outright disregard for the lines and codes we obey like Big Noyd. Bloggers don't think that Mos Def's shit stinks then shit hits the fan, so I don't slip Ima shit postin' hot shit with my phone in my hand.

26 comments:

  1. Needs moar Eminem

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  2. Hero by Nas is pretty horrific from what I remember. Crack A Bottle by Em & Dre was very bad. I'd actually throw Roc Boys in this list too.

    There's a lot.

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  3. Run This Town was definitely in contention for the 2009 pick.

    Eminem had a top 3 worst song of the year every time he dropped an album throughout the noughties. Don't even have to IMHO that because it's Actual Factz.

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  4. Empire State of mind.

    Can I also suggest that "Happy" is possibly one of the most loathesome songs in recent memory.

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  5. This is the most important piece of writing to hit the internet in 2016, bar none.

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  6. Christ, I must've banished Run This Town from memory. Most of the dead 2Pac stuff sucks but the Elton John one must be the worst. Think that was 02/03?

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  7. It's pretty safe to say you can make this list strictly Nas and Eminem songs but still all these songs are solid choices for some of the worst rap music ever. Never heard the Mystikal one but it's a prime example of why ATL trap rap migos soundin bullshit has ruined the south.

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  8. Strongly considered Nas' Who Killed It as the 2006 choice, but then re-listened to it for the first time in a decade and was reminded that it's an excellent piece of unintentional comedy.

    It's terrible, but at least it's entertaining.

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  9. Mark B & Blade's You don't see the signs <<<<<< everything on your list.

    Also, almost everything put out by The Wu Tang Clan, Snoop Dogg, Canibus, Ja Rule, Cypress Hill, Wyclef, Ice Cube, LL Cool J and Xzibit since the turn of the millennium has been unlistenable.

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  10. immortal technique belongs in high school and not on this list

    dude plays an important role in society and he's not even wrong almost half the time, like besides the autistic UFO vaccines or whatever

    yeah the rest of this shit is shit though

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  11. The Jay-Z song that nicks "Smells Like Teen Spirit" strikes me as particularly bad. Maybe because it sounds like an Eminem song. Jay, Kanye, Eminem and Wayne had a lot of stinkers this past decade.

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  12. stepfather factory is pretty awful but i'm certain there are more dire def jux cuts from the likes of mr lif and hangar 18 and such i'll let you find them same goes for sage francis v deep anticon

    sometimes i think get high is the only good asap song dunno how it's even a contender coming from the year the year that also brought us rebirth, recovery, thank me later, the frat rap big bang and those insufferable b.o.b. crossover songs

    some slaughterhouse would be nice you could viably fill this list with nothing but shady/aftermath/g-unit

    who killed it is a classic see

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  13. Slaughterhouse's Frat House was the original contender for 2012 before I remembered Drug Dat Hoe came out that year. Ferg's verse on Get High is the worst debut cameo of all time, imo. It's incredible to me that he's managed to get even worse since (see: that Rocky song which also featured Gunplay.)

    I will not hear a bad word against Snoop this century since he's responsible for at least 4 classic singles and a handful of great deep cuts.

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  14. "Rollin 25 Deep"

    fucking "A Little Samba" by Ugly Duckling

    all of Electric Circus

    French Montana 'Freaks'

    'Diced Pineapples'

    that song Gucci Mane did with Marilyn Manson

    something by Jhest has to go on this list i think

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  15. also not sure this'll count but Ms Dynamite 'It takes more'

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  16. All UKHH is disqualified. That's a whole 'nother list of shite entirely.

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  17. Everything by Jay-Z, especially "Forever Young".

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  18. I don't like Sage Francis's Escape Artist at all (sounds like a spoken word performance with some electronica played over it) but to say it was the worst rap song of 2005? Harsh. Cage, Edan, Black Market Militia, C-murder, Will Smith, Public Enemy, The Gza & Muggs, Fatlip, Geto Boys and Blood of Abraham all dropped far-far worse.

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  19. Bushwick Bill's Dirty Bitch was the worst track on Geto Boys' The Foundation and yet it's still a gazillion times better than that Sage Francis song.

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  20. Mr Hudson. Anything with Mr Hudson involved.

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  21. http://www.juno.co.uk/products/summerheadz-vs-j-z-beyonce-girlfriend/123839-01/

    this house remix justifies bonnie & clyde imo

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  22. Surprised you've even found the time to listen to Eminem in recent years! I stay well away. Did you like him in the SSLP/MMLP days?

    03 Bonny and Clyde Jesus Christ. So bad I can't remember it.

    Will it spoil the fun to suggest Umi Says isn't a rap song? Imma let you cook tho.

    I'd love to see 20 more tbh. Fantastic list.

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  23. That Eminem song was inescapable on the Freeview music channels for a while.

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  24. Speakin' of the 90s, loved your Death Row piece. 👍

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