Saturday, 2 April 2016

Renegades Of Nonce

Let's not bullshit here: no straight man would ever sport a mohawk or willingly attend a German rave, thus it's been one of the worst kept secrets in rap for close to 20 years now that Afrika Bambaataa has a penchant for dick. What does come of somewhat of a surprise, however, is that Bamabaataa allegedly has a penchant for dick that's 13 And Good. Who's down with the S.P.M via Ken Kaniff? Afrika Bam-B! The founding father of the Universal Zulu Nation buggering young boys - oh the humanity!


Always said Jonzun Crew's first album was better than Planet Rock or any other Bambaataa song me, m8. Moral of the story here: never trust hip hop enthusiasts in Star Trek sunglasses who invite you around to their homes to show you Incredible Bongo Band raer vinylz.

In the (unlikely) event Bambaataa is innocent of being the Jonathan King Of The Beats then, yo, no shotz - it was just bantaa.
at

18 comments:

  1. L.A2 April 2016 at 15:16

    Oh ffs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kelvin Mack10zie2 April 2016 at 15:39

    Operation YewTREE.

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  3. GGGGGG2 April 2016 at 18:32

    Finally something good has come out of the Nonce album lol

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  4. d2 April 2016 at 19:37

    King Los Prophets
    The Saville Thats Real
    Afrika Baby Bam
    Illegal Age Of Consent
    Woodie Allen
    Roman Polan-Ski

    Im going to hell for a few p poor puns amnt I

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  5. Kelvin Mack10zie2 April 2016 at 19:54

    Bambaataa being a nonce is basically the final nail in the 4 elements' coffin.

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  6. d2 April 2016 at 20:28

    Pederass Kass

    Does this rly mean Im not gonna be able to continue bumping that Bambaataa/James Brown tune daily

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  7. Kelvin Mack10zie2 April 2016 at 20:39

    Let's just take a moment to reflect that hip hop kulcha was created by a man who tried to trick his own sister into paying for his kidney stone operation, a serial nonce, and a man who thinks Blur's Song 2 is a banger.

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  8. d2 April 2016 at 21:17

    lol whos the last one, Flash?

    btw have you seen whats easily the definitive "rappers diverse taste" moment?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ELPe947TZk

    I wonder how many actually listened to Coldplay irl, you cant deny Kevs sincerity at least

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  9. Kelvin Mack10zie3 April 2016 at 11:08

    Yeah, Flash. Staples of his dj sets:

    Blur - Song 2
    The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
    UB40 - Red Red Wine
    Lily Allen - Alright

    Currently unconfirmed whether he has Dodgy's Good Enough in his crates.

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  10. Dan3 April 2016 at 15:38

    Zulu Nation is finished after this.

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  11. d3 April 2016 at 16:18

    radio two breakfast show the holders of the boulder

    man at what point does he drop red red wine, man alive. maybe hes just exclusively does midlands weddings now

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  12. Kelvin Mack10zie3 April 2016 at 17:21

    Red Red Wine into Alright is Flash's idea of bashment.

    So, is the Zulu Nation now hip hop's equivalent of the Gary Glitter Appreciation Society?

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  13. Forge3 April 2016 at 20:36

    What a beast

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  14. Kelvin Mack10zie4 April 2016 at 10:00

    Beast Mode definitely Bambaataa's favourite Future project of recent times.

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  15. $oda M£4 April 2016 at 11:52

    Is there any evidence to substantiate this latest bout of nonce sense or is this like the "Lady Gaga has a penis," "There's a ghost in 3 men & a baby" and "Das Racist are rapists" stories?

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  16. Kelvin Mack10zie4 April 2016 at 12:02

    Das Racist were definitely rapists. That's why they immediately split up after the allegations emerged.

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  17. Anonymous5 April 2016 at 12:34

    I hope this isn't true.

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  18. Kelvin Mack10zie6 April 2016 at 12:25

    The Zulu Nation are gonna need a new motto if Bambaataa gets found guilty.

    Instead of "Peace, Love, Unity, & Having Fun" it should be "Peace, Love, Unity, & Shagging Underage Boys Up The Bum"

    ReplyDelete