Saturday 7 February 2015

Top 5 things learned at Westwood's party last night


1. It's no coincidence that you can't spell UKHipHop without UKIP, but Westwood's parties are single handedly solving racial tensions in this country.

2. Trap Queen is the biggest club record here right now, Hot N*gga refuses to go away, CoCo is thankfully on its way out, Westwood's cut & paste of Whatcha Say/Truffle Butter is the definitive version of the song.

3. Westwood grabbing the mic during Try Me and imploring the ethnic ladies in attendance to "try me if you want a white guy tonight" bodies the entire history of stand-up comedy.

4. Where lesser DJ's would invite a handful of white lasses onstage to awkwardly twerk for the crowd, Westwood is a true showman who employs his own troupe of PoC twerk-gymnasts the L30 Dancers to dry hump lads plucked from the crowd.

5. That rumour about some bin-dippers nicking the rims off Westwood's jeep that time are true. Consequently, he gets the train up to Liverpool nowadays.
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12 comments:

  1. Jordy7 February 2015 at 18:44

    Hope he travels first class.

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  2. Kate SmurfHate7 February 2015 at 21:35

    How long until Operation Yewtree wants to have a word with Timothy?

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  3. Roget Seesaw8 February 2015 at 04:59

    Yeah he takes the train. Then when he gets back to Euston he gets a taxi to another taxi rank and then gets a taxi back to his flat.

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  4. Anonymous8 February 2015 at 12:41

    Westwood ballin' in Tesco.

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  5. Kelvin Mack10zie8 February 2015 at 13:21

    Also had an epiphany and realised the Only beat is a complete rip off of Shitro's Justin Bieber.

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  6. Anonymous8 February 2015 at 15:01

    Timmy's such a big dawg he lives in social housing. http://www.theguardian.com/music/2004/oct/03/popandrock

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  7. yeldarb8 February 2015 at 20:27

    It's no coincidence that you can't spell UKHipHop without UKIP

    HAHA

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  8. Fulci9 February 2015 at 11:53

    LOL https://vine.co/v/OFg0BWMdtie

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  9. Kelvin Mack10zie9 February 2015 at 12:22

    From Stackin' Season to Stockin' Season.

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  10. Fulci9 February 2015 at 13:02

    Cheers.

    http://38.media.tumblr.com/f6735bbcf2eeb492ede725ca47430c04/tumblr_nji3w3bgI31u46w66o1_250.gif

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  11. Kelvin Mack10zie9 February 2015 at 18:41

    Greatest GIF od 2015.

    ReplyDelete
  12. nyquil2 March 2015 at 17:26

    Westwood is one of my heroes. Seriously

    ReplyDelete