Is it on your chest? Is it on your back? Is it on your leg? Is it by your cat?

There can't be too many rap songs which contain references to the world's leading hemorrhoid ointment, right? Mercifully, the Tattoo remix by Twista & Legit Ballaz might be the only song of ANY genre where Preparation H and arses appear together in an entirely different context than what they were intended:

"Spit a lil' game, hope they take the bait
Gurl, don't let your tat' dry up, come lemme rub on Preperation H
A big butt freak with a butterfly wing on each cheek to cover her behind
When she pull her Prada pants down to pop that thang it look like the butterfly be flyin'"

Twista ft. Legit Ballaz - Tattoo remix
(From Tattoo remix single; 2002)

Twista & Legit Ballers - Tattoo from Damir Licina on Vimeo.

The Tattoo remix was Twista's first noughties single for Atlantic Records after a 4 year hiatus spent releasing independent compilation albums, yet the clean edit (*1) is the only version that's ever been available for sale digitally and the song ended up being cut from Kamikaze's tracklist. If nothing else, this proves that the damage wrought by Atlantic on their rap acts is consistent, so it only seems fair that everybody who's ever worked in the label's urban department spends an eternity of blistering agony in Hell with fire consistently stripping the flesh from their bones as the shitty French Montana & Trey Songz remix of Paranoid plays on a continuous loop.

The little-known original version of Tattoo was a song by Twista's weed-carriers Legit Ballaz, which Twista then decided he'd give his lungs a stretch on for a remix and claim it as his own for his official re-emergence on Atlantic. Them's are the perks of employing your rapping friends from the neighbourhood, and if there was ever a song that sounds like it was made for Twista to rap about women's buttocks on, then it's Tattoo here:

Legit Ballaz - Tattoo
(From Respect The Game Vol. 3 compilation album; 2002)


(*1 The hilarious irony here is that Twista's flow was so confusing for the people who worked in the censorship department at Atlantic that they missed him dropping THE c-word of all c-words on the Tattoo remix, and so the clean edit omits the word "cat" for a "MEOW" sound effect on the hook, but includes Twista using THE dreaded c-word in his verse.)