Thursday, 9 May 2013

Reasons why I love Youtube # 40 : pon di road edition

If there's three things which make me ashamed to be a U.K citizen it's Ricky Gervais, Keep Calm parody paraphernalia, and British ppl attempting to rap. Doesn't matter if it's Grime, UK Hip Hop, Trip-Hop by whispering stoner troglodytes like Tricky, or whatever the fuck Road Rap is, it's all an embarrassment to this fair isle which gave all y'all such planet-dazzling exports as Phil Collins, Razzle Romps, and Porridge. There's only ever been one good rap song to emerge from this country and it's the early eighties Green Cross Code advert which interpolated Duke Bootee & Melle Mel's The Message :

Johnny was a fool, he didn't act cool
He walked on out, he broke every rule
He shoulda stopped, looked and listened, he shoulda used his head
If he don't watch out he's gonna wind up dead

Now don't step out when you're close to the edge
Or you may find that you'll lose your head

When you're out on the streets tryna cross the road
you gotta try to remember your Green Cross Code
You gotta stop at the edge, y know you gotta take care
You gotta stop, look, and listen because there's danger everywhere

Now don't step out when you're close to the edge
Stop, look, listen, think and you won't lose your head!


Here's Melle Mel, Cowboy, and Scorpio performing their not-so-subtle dis track to Run Dmc and LL Cool J Step Off on Top Of The Pops a couple of years later in 1985, with Melvin stylin' & profilin' in a t-shirt which looks like it's made from those chick's skull-print scarfs they sell in Superdrug and Primark nowadays. Furursitic swag indeed :

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6 comments:

  1. AK10 May 2013 at 00:06

    Melle Mel isn't even trying to pretend he's actually rapping into the mic.

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  2. Anonymous10 May 2013 at 19:01

    On the one hand, you're totally right about UK Hip Hop. On the other hand, the worst UK Hip Hop is still better than the best of that nondescript direct-to-livemixtape gangster rap you've taken to jocking of late.

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  3. Kelvin Mack10zie10 May 2013 at 20:23

    1. UK Hip Hop is the worst genre ever.

    2. I haven't written about anything new "of late" and the last 2 new songs I did write about (Suga Free, N.O.R.E) are hardly "nondescript direct-to-livemixtape gangster rap".

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  4. doe10 May 2013 at 21:04

    lol if The Stones and Clapton taught us anything, its that the only thing worse than limeys is limeys convincing themselves that their off brand attempts at black ppl in america music is better than actual blk ppl in america music. obv not including the god Tom Jones

    LiveMixtapes >>>>> Low Life Recordings

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  5. Kelvin Mack10zie11 May 2013 at 11:19

    Americans who like Grime, Ricky Gervais and all manner of other terrible British stuff like the Stone Roses and Simon Pegg are the worst of all, though.

    ReplyDelete
  6. done11 May 2013 at 20:32

    yeah, none of them cunts ever contributed to anything as important as the quarry scene from Raw Deal.

    ReplyDelete