I'm one helluva guy

Fly, pelican, fly!

Is there a more fascinating Rap career trajectory from the last decade than that of Hell Rell? From Kool G. Rap on The Symphony-ing the first Diplomatic Immunity album twice with his two over-the-phone-from-jail freestyles and setting himself up as the reincarnation of Rich Porter and Baby 'Maine in one, to his emergence into the sunlight as.... a lilliputian Craig Mack lookalike from the Bronx wearing three separate tall-tees simultaneously who then spent his prime years ripping off at least one Lox punchline per song before ending up as the ultimate butt of 'hood DVD/WSHH video jokes via Tru-Life, Prodigy, and Max B and French Montana. You don't have to be Brain the dog from Inspector Gadget to figure out that he couldn't possibly have been in jail at the time of Diplomatic Immunity since he tells some chick in the background to be quiet at the start of the second freestyle, so could the mysterious Ma in question have actually been his mother, thus giving the whole situation a sorry whiff of that scene in The King Of Comedy where Rupert puts together an audition tape for Jerry Lee Lewis in his basement-bedroom as his ma dukes screams at him to keep the noise down?

"Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - I'm not gonna lower it, I have to do this now!"


The greatest argument one can put forth that Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram are the pitchfork which'll eventually disembowel the entire internet is that, now they've become the three primary mediums Rappers use to exhibit their goonery/unintentionally embarrass themselves, classic video clips like Max & French Montana clowning Hell Rell, the legendary riposte to Tru-Life and Memphis Bleek by Hell Rell, a black-eyed Cam trying to talk shit whilst wearing a pair of Daisy Dukes, Gillie Da Kid calling out Wayne, Cassidy's super-awkward apology to Gillie, Chopper & his suit Vs. Ness, Charles Hamilton getting socked in the face by a chick, Beanie making rape-faces at Peedi Crakk and whispering sweet nothings into his ear, Tru-Life and his crew posing with Jim Jones' and JR Writer's stolen chains, and Lil B getting knocked out by a poof have all but dried up in 2012 but for the grace of Game. Like, two or three years ago, instead of taking a grainy Instagram picture of him getting dome that's only use is in making "Word is bond, son, I had that bitch down on my shit like DIS!" memes, a character like Chief Keef would've trolled his detractors by posting an explicit clip of him getting slurped and burped up on WSHH.com which ends with him staring dead-eyed into the camera and saying "BANG BANG!" as he shoots a wad over his ladyfriend's grill.

We went from 50 prank-calling Shyne and buying Rick Ross' baby-momma a couple of furs in exchange for his IRL deets and sexual favours, to Freddie Gibbs' Youtube tour-vlogs and Joey Bada$$' Tumblr page... this can't be life the Rap internet in 2012.