Martorial elegance : Yelawolf edition

Big Boi ft. Yelawolf - You Ain't No D.J (2010)



Seeing Yelawolf cavorting around in the You Ain't No D.J video looking like every hackneyed tumblr account dedicated to waifish white ppl with ol' Martin Skrtel lookin' ass tattoos distilled into a single saltine rapper nearly kiboshed the song for me entirely, but catching The Fifth Element on TV last week for the first time since 1997 brought forth the revelation that the trick to not letting 'wolf's look (the result of DJ Kno from The CunninLynguists colliding with Nu-Metal one hit wonders Crazy Town) in full motion prevent me from enjoying his music is if I hoodwink myself that he's actually going for that whole intergalatic evil scoundrel swag instead by using Gary Oldman's Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg character as his chief style catalyst :



But Yelawolf signing with Shady Records was the worst artistic move he could've possibly made since it'll result in a bloated major label debut album which is bound to be full of sterile Eminem production instead of Burn One's whoozy Country-Rap beats, and it also means he'll follow Eminem's commercial blueprint and chase the whole downhick dollar with music that's less like this :

Bubba Sparxxx - Lovely (2001)



(I dunno why Bubba berated rappers for "spittin' that booty chatter" on Ugly when the songs on Dark Days, Bright Nights that featured his most intricately crafted rapping and which remain the acme of his career to this day - Lovely, Betty-Betty, Twerk A Little, All The Same, and Open Wide - were all primarily about women.)

with music that's, unfortunately, more like this :

Bubba Sparxxx - Back In The Mud (Travis Barker Remix) (2003)



The phrase ‘Travis Barker remix’ is an even more dread-inspiring triumvirate of words than ‘CJ Mackintosh remix’ once was, and you've every right to shudder because the days when Fieldy from KoRN was a mainstay on Rap records and in Rap videos are seemingly nigh again, signalling that the official Nu-Metal revival will burst asunder in december 2011 when Joe Budden announces that he's collaborating with his spiritual forefathers of gaylord navel-gazing, Papa Roach, on a cover version of their teen-angst sulkfest Last Resort.