A real H.A.M 'n' egger

So Jay-Z & KanYe's H.A.M finds karma restoring equilibrium to the rap-cosmos after that mismatched Next Up song where UGK invited Marley Marl, Big Daddy Kane and Kool G. Rap aboard their ship in 2007, because this is the exact antipode of the forced "hey guys, we're down with the east coast o.g's!!" disparity of that cut with both KanYe and Jay now sounding as utterly out of place on Lex Luger's H.A.M beat as Pimp and Bun did on the dry Marley production of Next Up, and them using the word ham is more cringeworthy than once hearing my uncle Harold describe a Dubai hotel he stayed in as having toilets which were "very bling". The only discernable differences I can hear between the two songs are that the Luger backdrop would be a banger with the right rapper(s) over it, whereas Marley's sounded like a track from his generic 2001 BBE compilation Re-Entry which would've had Troy S.L.U.G.S rapping on it, and Kane and G. Rap somehow sounded less decrepit than Jay does now, which, technically, isn't that suprising since Jay is probably older than Kurtis Blow.

H.A.M is a pivotal song, though, and that's why I've dedicated a post to it because it finally confirms my long-held suspicions that Memphis Bleek was the man-behind-the-curtain pulling the strings as a ghostwriter during Jay-Z's glory years and the evidence for this accusation is now damning : Jay only rapped well on the 5 albums Bleek appeared on; Bleek dubiously remains Jay's touring hypeman when everyone else initially connected with the Roc (Jaz, Sauce Money, Amil, Dame, Big, Beanie & State Prop') has long-since been cast aside; Jay is probably the most awkward interviewee in rap after Dr. Dre, yet Bleek can hold his own tossing out the zings to Dipset next to Tru-Life on 'hood dvds; and it's inconceivable that a man who can make his own extrodinary opulence sound as boring as Jay-Z does in his music nowadays could've ever penned the likes of Imaginary Player and the extended remix of A Million And One Questions.

But such declarations need audio evidence to back them up, so I ask you to compare how maladroit and humdrum Hov' sounds next to T.I, Wayne, and a fucking M.I.A vocal sample on Swagger Like Us to how effortless and comfortable Bleek sounded next to T.I and Trick Daddy on the now classic bi-regional posse jam Round Here :

Memphis Bleek ft. T.I & Trick Daddy - Round Here (2003)



I rest my case, and the only possible explanation I can come up with for Jay's admitedly swell appearances on Big Pimpin' and Get Throwed is that Bun wrote the former and Z-Ro was the author of the latter, which would explain the fishy reason why 'Ro didn't get to actually rap on the song.

BONUS MARTORIAL ELEGANCE BEATS :

Jay-Z - Streets Is Watching (1998)



Man, how did anyone ever buy the mythology of Jay as this cool trend-setter whose swag was off the yeltzebub when he wore a white tee tucked into some bellybutton-high JNCO-a-likes in the Streets Is Watching video? Ol' excess denim bellowing around his navel like a pair of Jeff Hardy's jeans lookin' ass motherfucker.